All Halocha Shailos and Tiffeh Questions

[TimT]

Then why do they all do it ? They don’t wear turbans in Muslim countries.

[aygart]

Then why do they all do it ? They don’t wear turbans in Muslim countries.

At religious sites they do things out of respect for the religion.

[TimT]

At religious sites they do things out of respect for the religion.

Why is it “respect” ? I’m assuming he didn’t make a bracha when he dined with the Netanyahus ?

[aygart]

Why is it “respect” ? I’m assuming he didn’t make a bracha when he dined with the Netanyahus ?

Touchy feely

[Definitions]

Is there an inyan to have those bronze plaque boards with the little orange lights that say when someone's yahrtzeit is (in shuls)?

[Yammer]

Is there an inyan to have those bronze plaque boards with the little orange lights that say when someone's yahrtzeit is (in shuls)?

Lighting candles is an inyan...

[Definitions]

Lighting candles is an inyan...

True, but I'd imagine that's specifically candles, not electric lights.

[churnbabychurn]

True, but I'd imagine that's specifically candles, not electric lights.

Nah, electric lights can be considered fire for many things
Paying for it and supporting the shul is definitely beneficial for the soul.

[TimT]

Is it loshon hora for a wife to tell her husband, or vv, something bad a child did where there is no תועלת. (Either the kid got his punishment already or it’s something that you can’t punish him for וכדומה)

[chinagel]

Is it loshon hora for a wife to tell her husband, or vv, something bad a child did where there is no תועלת. (Either the kid got his punishment already or it’s something that you can’t punish him for וכדומה)

will the kid get hurt because of it? if not, theres no issur lashon hara on a katan

[aygart]

will the kid get hurt because of it? if not, theres no issur lashon hara on a katan

Source?

[TimT]

will the kid get hurt because of it?

Care to explain ?

[chinagel]

Source?

dont have a chofetz chaim handy so i cant tell you right now, but he clearly says a lashon of if youre goreim nezek or tzaar etc. then its assur even on a katan. i didnt see this inside but i was told by s/o i trust that r binyamin cohen in his sefer also has this diyuk though i think its pashut from the chofetz chaim alone.

Care to explain ?

any tzaar or damage or hurt would make it LH, if the wife is just saying it as conversation and the kid wont get insulted or patched etc. then its not LH

[TimT]

dont have a chofetz chaim handy so i cant tell you right now, but he clearly says a lashon of if youre goreim nezek or tzaar etc. then its assur even on a katan. i didnt see this inside but i was told by s/o i trust that r binyamin cohen in his sefer also has this diyuk though i think its pashut from the chofetz chaim alone.any tzaar or damage or hurt would make it LH, if the wife is just saying it as conversation and the kid wont get insulted or patched etc. then its not LH

Chofetz Chaim is against slapping as punishment ?

[chinagel]

Chofetz Chaim is against slapping as punishment ?

no, you were saying a case where the kid already got his punishment or it wasnt necessary. obviously if its needed then that would be toeles
@aygart its in hilchos LH 8:3

[chinagel]

heres the lashon with sefaria.org translation
וְלִפְעָמִים (ה) שַׁיָּךְ אִסוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, אֲפִלּוּ עַל קָטָן, כְּגוֹן, לְסַפֵּר גְּנוּתוֹ שֶׁל יָתוֹם קָטָן, שֶׁמְּגַדְּלִין אוֹתוֹ אֲחֵרִים בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתָם, דְּעַל יְדֵי זֶה יוּכל לְהִסָבֵב, שֶׁיְּגָרְשׁוּ אוֹתוֹ מֵאִתָּם, וְכֵן כָּל כְּהַאי גַּוְנָא, הֵיכָא שֶׁעַל יְדֵי סִפּוּרוֹ יְסוֹבֵב לְהַזִּיק לְהַקָּטָן אוֹ לְהָצֵּר לוֹ עַל יְדֵי זֶה (ואִם הוּא דָבָר, מפורסָם עַל קָּטָן זֶה, עיֵּן לְעֵיל בִּכלָל ב' סָעִיף ג' וסָעיף ט' וּבחֵלֶק ב' בִּכְלָל ב' סָעִיף ג'). וְאִם מְכַוֵּן בְּסַפְּרוֹ לְסַלֵּק הַנְּזָקִין, שֶׁבָּאִין עַל יְדֵי זֶה הַקָּטָן, (ו) וּלְהַדְרִיךְ אוֹתוֹ בְּדֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה מֻתָּר, אַךְ צָּרִיךְ, שֶׁיֵּדַע מִתְּחִלָּה בְּבֵרוּר, שֶׁהַסִפּוּר הוּא אֱמֶת, וְלֹא לְמַהֵר לִסְמֹךְ עַל זֶה שֶׁשָּׁמַע מִפִּי אֲחֵרִים, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁיְּבֹאַר לְקַמָּן בִּכְלָל י', עַיֵּן שָׁם הֵיטֵב, (ז) גַּם צָּרִיךְ לִרְאוֹת אֶת הַנּוֹלָד עַל יְדֵי סִפּוּרוֹ, כִּי פְּעָמִים הַרְבֵּה יוֹצֵּא מִשְׁפָּט מְעֻקָּל מֵעִנְיָנִים כָּאֵלּוּ.

And sometimes the issur of speaking lashon hara applies even [if spoken] against a minor — as to speak demeaningly of a small orphan whom others are raising in their house. For this [lashon hara] may lead to their driving him out. And all such instances, where through his speaking the minor may be harmed or aggrieved. And [as to the din] if what he says of the minor is public knowledge, see above (Principle II, section 3 and section 9, and Part 2, Principle II, section 3). And if he intends by his speaking to prevent damage that this minor is prone to cause and to guide him in a just path, he is permitted [to speak thus]. But he must know clearly in the beginning that what he says is true and not rely on what he has heard from others, as will be explained below in Principle X. He must also be able to project what his words will lead to, for very often "a crooked judgment" results from these things.

[TimT]

He’s referring to an orphan who “may be driven out”. I’m asking about your own child.

[chinagel]

He’s referring to an orphan who “may be driven out”. I’m asking about your own child.

thats just the case he gave where it can be damaging so it would be assur, no reason why ur own kid is different. though its usually a toeles.

[aygart]

heres the lashon with sefaria.org translation
וְלִפְעָמִים (ה) שַׁיָּךְ אִסוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, אֲפִלּוּ עַל קָטָן, כְּגוֹן, לְסַפֵּר גְּנוּתוֹ שֶׁל יָתוֹם קָטָן, שֶׁמְּגַדְּלִין אוֹתוֹ אֲחֵרִים בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתָם, דְּעַל יְדֵי זֶה יוּכל לְהִסָבֵב, שֶׁיְּגָרְשׁוּ אוֹתוֹ מֵאִתָּם, וְכֵן כָּל כְּהַאי גַּוְנָא, הֵיכָא שֶׁעַל יְדֵי סִפּוּרוֹ יְסוֹבֵב לְהַזִּיק לְהַקָּטָן אוֹ לְהָצֵּר לוֹ עַל יְדֵי זֶה (ואִם הוּא דָבָר, מפורסָם עַל קָּטָן זֶה, עיֵּן לְעֵיל בִּכלָל ב' סָעִיף ג' וסָעיף ט' וּבחֵלֶק ב' בִּכְלָל ב' סָעִיף ג'). וְאִם מְכַוֵּן בְּסַפְּרוֹ לְסַלֵּק הַנְּזָקִין, שֶׁבָּאִין עַל יְדֵי זֶה הַקָּטָן, (ו) וּלְהַדְרִיךְ אוֹתוֹ בְּדֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה מֻתָּר, אַךְ צָּרִיךְ, שֶׁיֵּדַע מִתְּחִלָּה בְּבֵרוּר, שֶׁהַסִפּוּר הוּא אֱמֶת, וְלֹא לְמַהֵר לִסְמֹךְ עַל זֶה שֶׁשָּׁמַע מִפִּי אֲחֵרִים, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁיְּבֹאַר לְקַמָּן בִּכְלָל י', עַיֵּן שָׁם הֵיטֵב, (ז) גַּם צָּרִיךְ לִרְאוֹת אֶת הַנּוֹלָד עַל יְדֵי סִפּוּרוֹ, כִּי פְּעָמִים הַרְבֵּה יוֹצֵּא מִשְׁפָּט מְעֻקָּל מֵעִנְיָנִים כָּאֵלּוּ.

And sometimes the issur of speaking lashon hara applies even [if spoken] against a minor — as to speak demeaningly of a small orphan whom others are raising in their house. For this [lashon hara] may lead to their driving him out. And all such instances, where through his speaking the minor may be harmed or aggrieved. And [as to the din] if what he says of the minor is public knowledge, see above (Principle II, section 3 and section 9, and Part 2, Principle II, section 3). And if he intends by his speaking to prevent damage that this minor is prone to cause and to guide him in a just path, he is permitted [to speak thus]. But he must know clearly in the beginning that what he says is true and not rely on what he has heard from others, as will be explained below in Principle X. He must also be able to project what his words will lead to, for very often "a crooked judgment" results from these things.

Seems they say the reasoning is that since he is not responsible for his actions it is not derogatory.

[TimT]

thats just the case he gave where it can be damaging so it would be assur, no reason why ur own kid is different. though its usually a toeles.

So if a man comes home from work & his wife starts telling him the hard day she had with the kids, he would need to stop her ?
Or is that considered תועלת ?