I think you are missing the point that many have been making here. Your cop-out solution is really no solution at all. There are two criteria for kashrus. You are ignoring one. So much so that you are not understanding that those who bring it into the picture are not belittle the one aspect which you are looking at.
BTW, as far as I know the large organizations (OU, OK, Star-K, Kof-K, cRc) provide reviews at cost. You only pay for travel expenses.
To this point, and I hope @churnbabychurn is listening, the OU did an audit on the most chareidi of supervisions here, which is a Beis DIn backed hashgocha, and their conclusion was to recommend a comprehensive list of best practices and protocols to bring it up to date. Their protocols to that point had been antiquated by about 30 years.
This is another clear advantage of a national, cutting edge, sophisticated hashgocha.
Another hashgocha, which was not used for a long time by the chareidi public, is now considered fully acceptable since they upped their standards and supervision just to enter into buyout talks with one of the national hashgochos.