You're making fun of me.
At this point it looks like you need some support,
So firstly I support you, second while your in a very difficult stage (or you may have just ended a difficult stage) I hope you have the courage to get thru it, and if you are already thru then great, and I'm very happy for you. Thirdly while I or others (or anyone for that matter) may or may not agree with your decision to begin with that doesn't matter now, the decision was made and it's time to move on from that and just look forward, and to those who think what you did was wrong (whether I agree with them or not), it's time to get passed that, we've all done things against hakadosh boruch hu (this is not to justify it), but the approach I was brought up with is to always look ahead. how can I serve hashem today in the circumstance I am in today, not how I should have done it yesterday or start reflecting on if I made the right choices or not. The reason you were brought down into this world was to help (in a way only you can) make a dirah for hakadosh boruch hu in this lowest world and whether you were right or wrong, one thing is for sure you have that same chiyuv of serving hakadosh boruch hu as you did before, and that is what you should be focusing on, not on other peoples thoughts or feelings towards you, focus on your connection to your creator and why he put where you are today (not yesterday). and thru this hopefully we will all have the proper respect and never judge anyone on their past (the truth is we shouldn't be judging at all!) And we should merit to והיו לבשר אחד with the coming of משיח speedily in our days, אמן.