Author Topic: Best one-liners  (Read 81084 times)

Offline zalman123

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #60 on: August 19, 2010, 11:15:54 PM »
 "You don't stop laughing when you die, you die when you stop laughing!!"

Offline avi2018

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #61 on: August 26, 2010, 04:21:46 AM »
Signs in some stores:
"Our prices are based on obtaining quality products and giving you outstanding customer service. If you ask us for a discount, which one of these do you want us to take out?"
;)

Offline Avid Reader

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #62 on: August 26, 2010, 09:18:30 AM »
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - that's why it's called "the present".

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #63 on: September 05, 2010, 05:06:44 PM »
Guy says: I never knew what true happiness meant until I got married, but then it was too late

Offline Yellow

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #64 on: September 06, 2010, 02:19:17 AM »
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #65 on: September 06, 2010, 05:39:45 AM »
I got married before the war.

The war started after the wedding.

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #66 on: September 06, 2010, 12:19:02 PM »
While were on this topic, I realized something during seder today

In hebrew, the words marriage and hate have the same letters
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Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #67 on: September 06, 2010, 12:57:11 PM »
While were on this topic, I realized something during seder today

In hebrew, the words marriage and hate have the same letters

nisu'in ? how?

(use the symbols in word to write)

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #68 on: September 06, 2010, 01:26:00 PM »
nun sin aleph in both
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Offline bosoxfan

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #69 on: September 06, 2010, 05:44:16 PM »
as well as "get" and "gut" (yiddish)

Offline elikay

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #70 on: September 07, 2010, 01:27:11 AM »
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that
you don't need it.

Offline elikay

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #71 on: September 07, 2010, 01:27:40 AM »
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #72 on: September 07, 2010, 01:37:24 PM »
If being rich makes people sad, and being poor also makes you sad, I'd rather live sad with money then without.

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #73 on: September 07, 2010, 01:38:57 PM »
Stress is caused by 3 things: Money. Family. And FAMILY WITH NO MONEY.

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Best one-liners
« Reply #74 on: September 12, 2010, 11:53:20 AM »
"It's the best reality show in television. It's the National Football League."
-Al Micheals
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