Married men wear a ring to the office?

[cozmohoot]

Suffolk county, long island. not too many frum jews past nassau

im looking for a new dentist in brooklyn... Suffolk is a bit of a trip.
I have insurance and I would love to have a dentist who is happy getting the check from insurance without billing me for copays... Sometimes I understand but many times he gets tons in a small amount of time and still bills me... /rant

[12HRS]

Are you implying that I am not proud?
Trust me, everyone knows I am a yid from a mile away. Never tried to hide it, not even in the corporate world, always been proud. When you work with other Jews who will shake hands of opposite gender, explanations become much more complicated.

Lol. I can see the options now.

"Well he would shake your hands because he doesn't want to offend you. I on the other hand..."

or

"Well he is not as Jewish(religious) as I am"

[churnbabychurn]

Iv seen "Sorry, I would shake your hand but the wife is awfully possessive"   It worked 

[henche]

Iv seen "Sorry, I would shake your hand but the wife is awfully possessive"   It worked 

I don't think people in my office would have any idea what I meant if I said that.

It'd be like if a female partner sent me an assignment, and I responded that I'd love to do the work but my wife is awfully possessive.

[mod]

Lol. I can see the options now.

"Well he would shake your hands because he doesn't want to offend you. I on the other hand..."

or

"Well he is not as Jewish(religious) as I am"

Exactly
Explaining that the OU-D is kosher enough for them, but not for me is enough.

[LA2NYC]

I work in a large financial services company.  I wear a ring just to the office and shake hands with women in business settings.  IMHO, when there's reliable/sufficient/daas al mi lismoch room to be meikel, I try to be as normal as possible.  It's hard enough never being able to eat the same food, having to run out at 3pm on a Friday, and taking off Thurs-Fri for 3/4 weeks in a month (Tishrei).  ESPECIALLY when outside of NYC/large cities, this may be the only time the woman meets a frum jew.  I'd rather rely on the kulos than have her feel slighted (with a quizzical explanation in her mind) during the only interaction she'll ever have with a frum jew.

[churnbabychurn]

Even if one holds you can shake, its a "heter" generally given in extenuating circumstances, EG a job interview, a new client, a boss etc. Not a blanket heter "I shake hands".

Agree?

[LA2NYC]

Even if one holds you can shake, its a "heter" generally given in extenuating circumstances, EG a job interview, a new client, a boss etc. Not a blanket heter "I shake hands".

Agree?

Depends on your LOR, but 99% of the time it's when being introduced to someone for the first time.  I've never had to shake hands with a woman a second time...

[mod]

Even if one holds you can shake, its a "heter" generally given in extenuating circumstances, EG a job interview, a new client, a boss etc. Not a blanket heter "I shake hands".

Agree?

That is what I heard. Parameters were based around whether it put job/prospect in jeopardy. Although, never been comfortable using it.

[sky121]

I take things each situation at a time.

[mod]

Depends on your LOR, but 99% of the time it's when being introduced to someone for the first time.  I've never had to shake hands with a woman a second time...

That's why the - "I have a cold" always works. Just need to get past that first meeting.

[LA2NYC]

Depends on your LOR, but 99% of the time it's when being introduced to someone for the first time.  I've never had to shake hands with a woman a second time...

That's why the - "I have a cold" always works. Just need to get past that first meeting.

I'm not sure what line of work you're in, but with all due respect I don't think you know the facts or day-to-day nature of the business world nowadays.

I can work with the same team for years across multiple projects, and we'll usually meet the client all together.  You don't think they'd realize I have a cold anytime I have to meet a woman?

[mod]

I'm not sure what line of work you're in, but I don't think you know the facts or day-to-day nature of the business world nowadays.

I can work with the same team for years across multiple projects, and we'll usually meet the client all together.  You don't think they'd realize I have a cold anytime I have to meet a woman?

Thanks, been in the business world and still there, been in a few fields, some that had rotating client engagements. People aren't usually watching you as you make your introductions, they are usually doing their own if you are meeting another deal team/client team.
People don't realize as much as you give them credit for.

[mod]

I can work with the same team for years across multiple projects, and we'll usually meet the client all together.  You don't think they'd realize I have a cold anytime I have to meet a woman?

Weren't you concerned with your client who never met a Jew before? Who cares if your team notices. A side discussion after the fact is not a awkward.

What's important is that you ask your lor, follow his guidance. So I have no qualms with what you do based on your psak. Just not something that I've been told/comfortable with.

[LA2NYC]

People aren't usually watching you as you make your introductions, they are usually doing their own if you are meeting another deal team/client team.
People don't realize as much as you give them credit for.

Naw, people are pretty perceptive.  Plus, I'm not dealing with idiots - they can tell something's a bit off, especially if you're spending the next 1-3 hours with them at a meeting or dinner.  If I used the "I have a cold" excuse, there's something wrong with me if I'm sick every third day of work.

Weren't you concerned with your client who never met a Jew before? Who cares if your team notices. A side discussion after the fact is not a awkward.

What's important is that you ask your lor, follow his guidance. So I have no qualms with what you do based on your psak. Just not something that I've been told/comfortable with.

I don't thing a conversation saying, "I can't shake your hand, but I'll shake hers so she has a favorable impression of Orthodox Jews" is a normal convo to have.
I'll agree to disagree, and it could be we work in different settings.  I reiterate that when there's a reliable psak, I try to be as normal as possible.

[mod]

Naw, people are pretty perceptive.  Plus, I'm not dealing with idiots - they can tell something's a bit off, especially if you're spending the next 1-3 hours with them at a meeting or dinner.  If I used the "I have a cold excuse," there's something wrong with me if I'm sick every third day of work.

I agree to disagree, and it could be we work in different settings.  I reiterate that when there's a reliable psak, I try to be as normal as possible.

I'll agree to that.
Haven't had issues over the years. Get along with everyone.
I've tried other suggested methods - hold something in both hands- people will just wait for you to put something down...
I've used a kula when it came to a firm partner in the past, but if I can avoid it, I try.

[Dan]

What about just saying that you're a germaphobe?
Just remember not to shake guys hands either.

[Freddie]

What about just saying that you're a germaphobe?
Just remember not to shake guys hands either.

Girl germs.

[mod]

What about just saying that you're a germaphobe?
Just remember not to shake guys hands either.

Or touch any surfaces unless you Lysol ourt first

[mod]

Girl germs.

They are called cooties.