Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 15118 times)

Offline chuchem

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joke for sheva brachot
« on: February 06, 2011, 08:34:45 PM »
I will be making sheva broches for a couple soon. I will need to say a few words. Can someone help me with a good opening joke please. It should have to do with marriage, jewish, inlaws, sheva broches. Something decent, that everyone thinks is funny.

Thanks

Offline YOSEF

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2011, 09:11:25 PM »
Q: What's the difference between sheva brachos speeches and gehenom?

A: one makes you wish you were alive, the other makes you wish you were dead.

(More appropriate for shabbos sheva brachos or aufrufs, but it should work anyway.)
« Last Edit: February 06, 2011, 09:16:40 PM by YOSEF »

Offline danielz

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2011, 09:11:40 PM »
The gemara in kesubos, 16b says "keitzad merakdim lifnei hakalla, beis shammai omrim, 'kalla k'muves'".
http://hebrewbooks.org/shas.aspx?mesechta=15&daf=16b&format=pdf last line.

Online David

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2011, 09:24:46 PM »
The gemara in kesubos, 16b says "keitzad merakdim lifnei hakalla, beis shammai omrim, 'kalla k'muves'".
http://hebrewbooks.org/shas.aspx?mesechta=15&daf=16b&format=pdf last line.
Oh my! Why didnt someone say that at my sheva brachos?!?!?

Offline danielz

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2011, 09:29:16 PM »
I said it at my brother's sheva brachos. the famous one

Online David

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2011, 09:30:05 PM »
I said it at my brother's sheva brachos. the famous one

What kind of reaction did you get from the crowd?

Offline danielz

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2011, 09:31:37 PM »
the learned ones liked it.

Offline Avid Reader

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2011, 10:03:06 PM »
I will be making sheva broches for a couple soon. I will need to say a few words. Can someone help me with a good opening joke please. It should have to do with marriage, jewish, inlaws, sheva broches. Something decent, that everyone thinks is funny.

Thanks

Badchen Yankel miller has a bunch of these. Did you hear his (Yiddish) tape?

Offline YOSEF

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2011, 10:35:08 PM »
I said it at my brother's sheva brachos. the famous one
Famous or infamous?

Offline Dan

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2011, 10:40:58 PM »
It should have to do with...inlaws...

Q:  What do you do if you miss your MIL??
A:  RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!

Well, maybe not all that appropriate ;)
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2011, 04:47:31 AM »
How about, I bought for my MIL a chair.

She just didn't plug it in yet.

Offline daastorah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2011, 01:27:48 PM »
Why did adam harishon live so long?

Cause he didn't have a MIL.

Imagine he wouldnt of had a wife...

Offline Dan

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2011, 01:33:10 PM »
Why did adam harishon live so long?

Cause he didn't have a MIL.

Imagine he wouldnt of had a wife...
Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about how well his mother cooked!
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline moish

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2011, 02:25:58 PM »
whats the difference between an inlaw and an outlaw?
an outlaw's wanted.....

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2011, 05:48:27 PM »
This should be renamed the "Shvigger Joke Master Thread"...