Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread  (Read 1016 times)

Offline avadah

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Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« on: January 13, 2014, 11:55:04 AM »
I'll kick it off.

Q) What was the snowman doing on DDF?

A) Just chillin'

Offline good sam

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2014, 03:11:57 PM »
If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline SamKey

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2014, 03:23:07 PM »
??? The joke thread is titled everything goes

Offline avadah

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2014, 05:01:56 PM »
Right. And this is titled Corny Jokes & Bad Puns meaning only these types of jokes.

Offline SamKey

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2014, 05:27:30 PM »
Right. And this is titled Corny Jokes & Bad Puns meaning only these types of jokes.
put a fork in it

Offline normallyavoyeur

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2014, 08:34:58 PM »
Why can't you keep jews in prison?  They eat all the lox.


Offline Dan

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Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online davidrotts63

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2018, 12:49:42 PM »
Can you count how many puns are in this post?
https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/ruff-month-united-will-4-hours-compassion-training-fix-airline/
You had waaaay too much pun there, one more and we'd have to punish you :)
I'll tell you later

Offline Mordyk

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2018, 01:25:48 PM »
Can you count how many puns are in this post?
https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/ruff-month-united-will-4-hours-compassion-training-fix-airline/
After such an article does united try to reach out to you? ;) I imagine they dont like reading articles like this...

Offline Dan

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #9 on: Today at 03:22:24 PM »
Via https://www.facebook.com/almamariacarter/posts/987546538068851

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online aygart

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #10 on: Today at 03:56:46 PM »
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

like
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