Author Topic: Great DDF One-Liners  (Read 27599 times)

Offline Work-for-ur-muny

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #60 on: April 06, 2016, 02:30:41 PM »
It's been tried before & the threads ended up in area 51.

Offline Freddie

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #61 on: April 06, 2016, 02:35:56 PM »
Thanks for the tribute, @Work-for-ur-muny. Personally, my favorite one-liner (although it may have been a couple sentences) that I wrote on this forum was the free Starbucks coffee method. I know it's poor form for a comedian to laugh at his own jokes but that one had me LOL'ing when I wrote it.

Offline Work-for-ur-muny

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #62 on: April 06, 2016, 02:37:30 PM »

Offline Work-for-ur-muny

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #63 on: April 06, 2016, 02:38:30 PM »
Thanks for the tribute, @Work-for-ur-muny. Personally, my favorite one-liner (although it may have been a couple sentences) that I wrote on this forum was the free Starbucks coffee method. I know it's poor form for a comedian to laugh at his own jokes but that one had me LOL'ing when I wrote it.
link?

Offline benjie1305

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #64 on: April 06, 2016, 02:40:43 PM »
What you do is order two vente Americanos. One, you throw in the barrista's face while it is scalding, and the other you grab and run out the door with.

You mean the "throw the hot drink in the face" trick? Ein hochi nami. It's just gotta be a hot drink. Ice coffee = fail.

The truth is you can order an ice coffee... just make sure to also order the hot coffee. And make sure that the one you toss in the barrista's face is the hot one.

Obviously I do not eat at McDonald's and it would be maris ayin for a religious Jew to step inside.... but here is how I would do it if I had to do it (a la OJ's book title.)

You go in, you order meal. Get whatever you want that you can fit in one bag (this will be important for when you grab the bag and run.) At some point in your order, you have to ask for a coffee. Preferably a large coffee. Loosen the top of the coffee nonchalantly while he is ringing you up. Then, when the cashier is done ringing you up... THROW THE COFFEE IN HIS FACE... then grab your bag of food and RUN!

That's how it would be done.
Work hard, Play harder!

Offline Freddie

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #65 on: April 06, 2016, 02:47:07 PM »
Nice. It still made me giggle after all this time.

As long as I am admiring my own posts, I also liked the "do-it-yourself-bump" method of getting a standby ticket when you're second on the list.

Offline David Smith

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #66 on: April 06, 2016, 02:47:37 PM »


 >:( Beat me to it, after I searched the thread!


Reminds me of a trick a veteran on the FT Trick-It thread once gave a noob how to find an effective 3x:

First you use your credit card to book the most expensive and luxurious first-class ticket out there. Then for the 3x, you book a one way ticket to some third world jungle. You take the first class journey, which will be the dream trip of a lifetime. Then you don't pay the credit card bill. This only works because of your 3x:  you take the flight to the third world country and never come back. 100% success rate.
Who do you think you are fooling? You think you are going to pull a quick one on your Creator? Good luck with that.
JTZ

Offline yitrap

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #67 on: April 06, 2016, 03:27:37 PM »
>:( Beat me to it, after I searched the thread!


Reminds me of a trick a veteran on the FT Trick-It thread once gave a noob how to find an effective 3x:

First you use your credit card to book the most expensive and luxurious first-class ticket out there. Then for the 3x, you book a one way ticket to some third world jungle. You take the first class journey, which will be the dream trip of a lifetime. Then you don't pay the credit card bill. This only works because of your 3x:  you take the flight to the third world country and never come back. 100% success rate.
Lol reminds me of this
If im not mistaken its when Batchy fills his tus tus up with diesel and then has to flip it upside down to dump the fuel.... bec his tus tus only takes 89 unleaded

Offline yochiek93

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #68 on: April 06, 2016, 03:29:38 PM »
Roflmao

Offline Work-for-ur-muny

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #69 on: April 06, 2016, 05:24:53 PM »

Offline 12HRS

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #70 on: April 06, 2016, 06:06:26 PM »
clicked to see if that was the weight loss game thread...

Offline yochiek93

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #71 on: April 07, 2016, 12:37:27 AM »
You dare ask a question on the holy wiki ?

Offline etech0

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #72 on: April 07, 2016, 07:13:05 PM »
I have more pulls then a sweater in a thrift shop
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Work-for-ur-muny

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #73 on: April 08, 2016, 12:34:44 AM »
WTH I hope this isn't the new normal for Crapatalk.

Online Ergel

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Re: Great DDF One-Liners
« Reply #74 on: April 10, 2016, 12:15:20 AM »

That's my quote. How'd it get attributed to Dan

Here first:
How many times do I have to say it
Ein meviim raayah mi'Dan
« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 12:19:51 AM by Ergel »
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.