How to handle kosher dinner on biz travel w non-Jew colleagues

[LAX_Esq]

Wife has to make a rare (first) overnight business trip. She has a conference in the DC area, and her team members are going to want to get dinner together that evening.

She could suggest they go to a kosher restaurant, but they're all 30+ minutes from the conference site and it's not realistic to expect everyone to schlep there.

She doesn't even care what she eats and doesn't need a packaged kosher meal per se and can just pick up something kosher at a normal grocery store (cheese, hummus, bread, that sort of thing...). Should she go with the colleagues to a treyf restaurant and bring in whatever she wants to bring in? (Not sure if that's allowed bc of marit ayin... or whether treyf restaurants even care about bringing in outside food... or whether its awkward for her colleagues...) Should she just eat by herself before and go and not eat?

She's never traveled for biz before so I'd appreciate any advice from people who have experience with this sort of thing.

[imayid2]

There are definitely maros ayin issues to be concerned about.

Should she just eat by herself before and go and not eat?

Obviously this would have the least MA problems. Some may still feel it’s a problem so AYLOR.

For some possible leniencies see here
https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/208/eating-your-own-kosher-food-in-a-non-kosher-restaurant

[gubevo18]

There are definitely maros ayin issues to be concerned about.
Obviously this would have the least MA problems. Some may still feel it’s a problem so AYLOR.

For some possible leniencies see here
https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/208/eating-your-own-kosher-food-in-a-non-kosher-restaurant

Depends who you ask. If helpful, Char Bar will double wrap and send a meal (on dishes and all) to any restaurant. I've done it before and it was pretty good and presentable. Also helps with the MA issue because the dishes etc are diff from wtvr restuarant you are in

[Essen est zich]

Ask on LinkedIn?

[imayid2]

There are definitely maros ayin issues to be concerned about.

https://asktherav.com/6540-im-a-psychotherapist-can-i-meet-and-conduct-sessions-with-non-jewish-clients-in-a-non-kosher-restaurant-like-a-local-mcdonalds/

https://dinonline.org/2011/02/09/eating-in-non-kosher-restaurant/

Under what circumstances can a rabbl bring his own food, cutlery, crockery etc. to a non-kosher restaurant, while his guests partake in non-kosher food? If he can’t, what is the halachic reason for this?
Answer:
Unless there are very extreme circumstances (which I can’t imagine), it would not be permitted for a rabbi, or for any other Jew, to eat in a non-kosher restaurant, even if he were to bring his own food. The reason for this is the principle of maris ayin, whereby an action that a person does gives the impression of a transgression, even when he is not doing anything wrong.
According to Iggros Moshe, maris ayin applies when “Someone thinks that I violated something, or he thinks that I inappropriately ate something non-kosher.” This would certainly apply to eating in the non-kosher restaurant.
Sources: Iggros Moshe, Orach Chaim 1:96, 2:40, 4:82; Minchas Shlomo 2-3:53

https://dinonline.org/2013/02/22/conference-in-non-kosher-restaurant/

Conference in Non-Kosher Restaurant
02/22/2013
Eating, maris ayin, restaurant
Hi
Is it permitted to enter a non kosher restaurant in order to attend a medical conference/meeting? (of course no eating!) Thanking you.
Answer:
If your attendance is important It is permitted for enter the restaurant for this purpose.
Nonetheless, it is generally preferable to avoid this.
Best wishes.

Sources:
In principle it is not permitted to eat in a non-kosher restaurant. The reason for this is the problem of maris ayin – it looks like the person is transgressing an issur by eating in the non-kosher establishment.
However, Rav Moshe Feinstein (2:40) writes that where a person is hungry and in a state of discomfort, it is permitted to eat kosher food in the restaurant, on condition that this is done privately in a way that his friends don’t see him, and that he tells those who see him that he was in a state of discomfort.
Shut Minchas Asher (67) goes a step further and writes that for business meeting there is no prohibition on entering the restaurant, because people understand that business meetings are held in non-kosher establishments even when no non-kosher food is eating, and there is no reason to assume that the person will be suspected of eating non-kosher food.
He adds that it is also possible that the prohibition of mar’is ayin doesn’t apply here, because we do not add circumstances of mar’is ayin that Chazal didn’t mention. This depends on a dispute between the Magen Avraham (463:4) and other authorities (see Peri Chadash, Yoreh De’ah 87:7; Peri To’ar 9).
Therefore, if attending the conference is important, either for reasons of parnassah or for reasons of education, one can be lenient and attend. However, it remains preferable to avoid entering and sitting in a non-kosher establishment, to distance oneself from mar’is ayin.

[JMHO]

Thinking out loud, would there be less of a Maris Ayin issue for a women who blends in easier vs a male who has a more external appearance of a frum jew (kippah, tzitzit, etc)?

[yuneeq]

Thinking out loud, would there be less of a Maris Ayin issue for a women who blends in easier vs a male who has a more external appearance of a frum jew (kippah, tzitzit, etc)?

Furthermore - is the MA problem seeing you walk in, sitting at a table, eating food, and is it because you are - as CV likes to say - visibly Jewish?

[imayid2]

Thinking out loud, would there be less of a Maris Ayin issue for a women who blends in easier vs a male who has a more external appearance of a frum jew (kippah, tzitzit, etc)?

כל מה שאסרו חכמים משום מראית עין אפילו בחדרי חדרים אסור

[Sammy82]

There's a famous story with one of the Reichman brothers regarding this. I don't have the time to look for it or write it up here but if anyone else knows of a link, I think it's a great story.

[LAX_Esq]

Good discussion, all. Thanks so much. Good info!

[JMHO]

She could suggest they go to a kosher restaurant, but they're all 30+ minutes from the conference site and it's not realistic to expect everyone to schlep there.

And pay for it

[CountValentine]

...as CV likes to say...

Find the right rabbi and problem solved. 

When you go on vacation and the hotel heats up your food, do you eat in private so no one can see?