Author Topic: "One Of Us"  (Read 3558 times)

Offline elit

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #45 on: October 24, 2017, 09:59:04 AM »
That's going to happen either way. People are going to use the issue to bash the community no matter what you say. And do you HONESTLY think trying to convince them the problem is smaller than they think is going to help?   If anything it makes it come across that your energy is all going into defending your community where if you really want to help your community you would work on helping the issue.

And just as a side note, if those bashing the community because of issues like this heard you say "you're right, we have an issue, let's work on fixing this" they may be a whole lot less inclined to focus on the bashing and start working together to start creating solutions.

When you defend a community that clearly has this major issue, it doesn't look to others that you're listening to the problems and wanting to be part of the solution.
+100 that's excuse making "other people are bashing us so we need to defend ourselves instead of helping" do u not realize how lame that sounds? maybe if there were people and organizations from within helping these kids there would be less focus and highlighting of organizations like footsteps.
I know people who are trying to work with and within the chassidic community and have no desire to bash them in anyway and they say it's really bad...

Offline Aaaron

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #46 on: October 24, 2017, 10:05:29 AM »
Can we get this broken off into its own thread?

Offline aygart

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #47 on: October 24, 2017, 10:20:19 AM »
+100 that's excuse making "other people are bashing us so we need to defend ourselves instead of helping" do u not realize how lame that sounds? maybe if there were people and organizations from within helping these kids there would be less focus and highlighting of organizations like footsteps.
I know people who are trying to work with and within the chassidic community and have no desire to bash them in anyway and they say it's really bad...
It is not an excuse for anything but is human nature nonetheless.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline chevron

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #48 on: October 24, 2017, 12:14:36 PM »
WOW I posted an article and started this monster.

The reason you'll see more people leaving chasidic community and judaism is they are very rigid and exclusive.

Take chabad, I dont wear a hat, trim my beard etc and I dont feel like an outsider, yeah people make cute quips about my beard but its ok.

When chasidim learn to balance and be able to be a chasid in the modern world as is the case fairly so with chabad, you'd find more of compatibility with those that may not dance to every tune.

I have noticed lately so many chasidic guys with peyos but trimmed / shaved

Offline hvaces42

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #49 on: October 24, 2017, 12:18:01 PM »
As someone who grew up in a yeshiva where corporal punishment was the norm and where some rebbeim took it to a sadistic level i can sympathize with what is deemed abuse today. Some of the OTD community will say they were abused and not be specific in mentioning that it wasnt sexual abuse, but rather corporal punishment. Men hitting wives is abuse, fathers, mothers, or rebbeim disciplining a child with corporal punishment, is unaccepted today but was the norm not too long ago. Was that abuse, maybe.

We have a classmate who went OTD (he claims) because he was abused by the exact same rebbe that we all had. He was not sexually abused. He just couldnt handle the corporal punishment. We (his classmates) had the same experience and did handle it. This is a sixth grade rebbe. He went OTD somewhere in his Bais Medrash years.


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Offline sky121

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #50 on: October 24, 2017, 02:47:20 PM »
This whole film really comes down to the lack of respect ben adam l'chavero that the community has.  What good accomplishes from shunning others? Especially when you can so clearly see that all the individuals in the film would like to have some connection to Yiddeshkeit.   (Though that isn't always the case, there are people that want to leave and get as far away as possible as well. ) 
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Dan

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #51 on: October 24, 2017, 02:51:29 PM »
WOW I posted an article and started this monster.

The reason you'll see more people leaving chasidic community and judaism is they are very rigid and exclusive.

Take chabad, I dont wear a hat, trim my beard etc and I dont feel like an outsider, yeah people make cute quips about my beard but its ok.

When chasidim learn to balance and be able to be a chasid in the modern world as is the case fairly so with chabad, you'd find more of compatibility with those that may not dance to every tune.

I have noticed lately so many chasidic guys with peyos but trimmed / shaved
The pro is that nobody feels ostracized. That's for sure a big pro as they don't feel the need to either conform or go OTD.
The con is that more people seem to think it's not a contradiction to be a Chabad chosid with a trimmed beard, drink C"S, not wear a kapota, send your kids to coed schools, etc...
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Sport

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #52 on: October 24, 2017, 03:28:37 PM »
The pro is that nobody feels ostracized. That's for sure a big pro as they don't feel the need to either conform or go OTD.
The con is that more people seem to think it's not a contradiction to be a Chabad chosid with a trimmed beard, drink C"S, not wear a kapota, send your kids to coed schools, etc...
Conforming shouldnt be the motivation behind those choices.

Offline Dan

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #53 on: October 24, 2017, 03:36:41 PM »
Conforming shouldnt be the motivation behind those choices.
Mitoch shelo lishmah ba lishmah
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #54 on: October 24, 2017, 05:02:56 PM »
I don't think there are nearly as many as those who try to use this issue to bash the community would like you to think.
Where have I heard this before?
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #55 on: October 24, 2017, 05:04:18 PM »
Where have I heard this before?
Last time I said it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #56 on: October 24, 2017, 05:05:23 PM »
Last time I said it?
No I am thinking in my circles.  ;)
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #57 on: October 24, 2017, 05:06:02 PM »
No I am thinking in my circles.  ;)
It is probably true there too
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #58 on: October 24, 2017, 05:07:03 PM »
It is probably true there too
No it turned out to be a bigger problem than we ever thought.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #59 on: October 24, 2017, 05:07:54 PM »
No it turned out to be a bigger problem than we ever thought.
Who is we
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.