Author Topic: "One Of Us"  (Read 3556 times)

Offline Aaaron

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #90 on: October 26, 2017, 08:43:44 AM »
I agree with a lot that is said about Chasidim but I feel like the film messed up the message entirely.

Mother changes her life and WILL change the kids life regardless of her promises, she should lose the kids I dont feel sorry for that. The kids that went off the D, were not ostracized by their family, in fact the father was there for him when he had issues. The backgrounds of the scenes always show kids laughing/happy mothers look busy but not overwhelmed. I see this as a terrible hit job on Chasidim.

You just said it always showed happy children and mothers, and showed a supportive father to the OTD kid, so how exactly is it a hit job on Chasidim?

Offline elit

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #91 on: October 26, 2017, 08:43:58 AM »
I did not say that! I do not believe every lady who went off the derech is because of abusive husbands, if the husband was abusive then he should lose the kids as well.
well that was the scenario being discussed

Offline Sport

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #92 on: October 26, 2017, 08:44:34 AM »
I think it is heartbreaking!! But at the end of the day they make a pact when they decide to have kids that this is the way they will be raised. If one of the parents decides to change then they lose out. If it is both parents then it becomes murkier.
Would you say that in the reverse case? Say a completely secular family is going through a divorce and one of the spouses is a bal teshuvah now and becoming chasidish. Should the, now chasidish, spouse lose his/her right to any custody of the children because they'll raise the kids  differently.

Offline sky121

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #93 on: October 26, 2017, 08:46:17 AM »
How is it a stable life to see your mother eating cheeseburgers and your father learning gemara?? I dont understand what you think is stable?
Listen, a kid from a divorced house is going to have some things to deal with even in the best of scenerios. 
That's his pekelah.

And ideally a parent who changes his/her path still has the child's best interest at heart and plenty of times that means respecting how they were raised until a certain point. 

Compromise should always be part of the picture. On both sides.  And it won't be perfect no matter what.
But there is still something to be said for a child having a relationship with their mother/father.

You can't write off a parent just because they change their path.

It's not that I don't understand how complicated it can be. And I get not wanting to expose a kid to things but sometimes thats what life throws at you.

You shouldn't lose a child just because you change your path.

If that means becoming not religious. 

Or becoming religious. 


"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Proisrael

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #94 on: October 26, 2017, 09:10:08 AM »
Would you say that in the reverse case? Say a completely secular family is going through a divorce and one of the spouses is a bal teshuvah now and becoming chasidish. Should the, now chasidish, spouse lose his/her right to any custody of the children because they'll raise the kids  differently.

Yes I would....I am saying clearly when parents decide to get married and have kids they decided on how they will raise them. If someone changes and it is 100% against the principles they agreed to then yes that parent must go.

Offline Proisrael

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #95 on: October 26, 2017, 09:12:41 AM »
Listen, a kid from a divorced house is going to have some things to deal with even in the best of scenerios. 
That's his pekelah.

And ideally a parent who changes his/her path still has the child's best interest at heart and plenty of times that means respecting how they were raised until a certain point. 

Compromise should always be part of the picture. On both sides.  And it won't be perfect no matter what.
But there is still something to be said for a child having a relationship with their mother/father.

You can't write off a parent just because they change their path.

It's not that I don't understand how complicated it can be. And I get not wanting to expose a kid to things but sometimes thats what life throws at you.

You shouldn't lose a child just because you change your path.

If that means becoming not religious. 

Or becoming religious.

I feel the lack of security to kids is more damaging then not having one of the parents around. A parents death R"L is less damaging to a kids future then seeing 2 completely different ways of life. How is the kid ever supposed to know whats right in life if each step is being taught differently?

I think the mother should have full visitation rights however she may not discuss religion and she must dress appropriately!

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #96 on: October 26, 2017, 09:40:38 AM »
I think the mother should have full visitation rights however she may not discuss religion and she must dress appropriately!
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Offline elit

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Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Offline Aaaron

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #99 on: October 26, 2017, 11:04:24 AM »
I feel the lack of security to kids is more damaging then not having one of the parents around. A parents death R"L is less damaging to a kids future then seeing 2 completely different ways of life. How is the kid ever supposed to know whats right in life if each step is being taught differently?

I think the mother should have full visitation rights however she may not discuss religion and she must dress appropriately!

Do you have any psychological data to back this up?  From what I understand, most court systems and jurisdictions disagree based on years of expert testimony.  The exception is where judges have to be worried about a block vote. 

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #100 on: October 26, 2017, 12:47:37 PM »
Watched the first 45 minutes. When does the bashing start?
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Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #101 on: October 26, 2017, 03:25:43 PM »
Just had a chance to finish watching. Were is this bashing some here are talking about? The only bashing was taking her kids from her. Was this a Jewish court system that did this?

I have no idea if the three stories are true or slanted. The way they portrayed the community is accurate based on what I learned from this forum. Overall the community was portrayed in a strict but positive way.
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Offline Proisrael

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #102 on: October 27, 2017, 12:58:48 AM »
Just had a chance to finish watching. Were is this bashing some here are talking about? The only bashing was taking her kids from her. Was this a Jewish court system that did this?

I have no idea if the three stories are true or slanted. The way they portrayed the community is accurate based on what I learned from this forum. Overall the community was portrayed in a strict but positive way.

+1000

Offline Proisrael

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #103 on: October 27, 2017, 01:00:09 AM »
Do you have any psychological data to back this up?  From what I understand, most court systems and jurisdictions disagree based on years of expert testimony.  The exception is where judges have to be worried about a block vote.

Where are the court cases of one parent religious and the other completely not? Most court cases would be with parents who argue with each other or who dont see eye to eye. Here is a completely different case.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: "One Of Us"
« Reply #104 on: October 27, 2017, 09:56:37 AM »
OK it is Friday so lets not be shy.  :)
Who heard her court case?
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