Poll

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

I'm frum and I (mostly) daven with a minyan 3x a day
72 (59%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven without a minyan 3x a day
13 (10.7%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven daily
20 (16.4%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) don't daven every day
12 (9.8%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) daven daily
1 (0.8%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) don't daven daily
4 (3.3%)

Total Members Voted: 122

Author Topic: Do you Daven?  (Read 4675 times)

Offline elit

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #30 on: January 10, 2018, 06:31:06 PM »
Mods, I hope this allowed.

So I'm part of the small percentage of female DDF'ers and I'd like to pose a poll to you majority holders.

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

The reason I'm asking is that my husband (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic) does not and when I finally reached out for support from a mentor I was told I am in very, very good company.
I'm confused you seem to be asking about davening altogether not minyan but many answers seem to be addressing minyan?

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #31 on: January 10, 2018, 06:36:26 PM »
First of all, what sacrifice? Not eating treif?
I'm sure there's more, but what stands out is:
Money sacrificed to live this outrageously expensive lifestyle.
The entire concept of dating the way it is in non-religious circles (as a single and even while married).
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline YossieW

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #32 on: January 10, 2018, 06:36:42 PM »
I'm confused you seem to be asking about davening altogether not minyan but many answers seem to be addressing minyan?

that may have been the OP's point but i am sure to many people who do daven a bigger struggle is going to a Minyan especially for Mincha/Maariv

a shul i go to there is a running joke when a certain individual shows up which rarely happens but everyone knows when he does because they give him an aliyah every time he shows up

Offline HBS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #33 on: January 10, 2018, 06:38:24 PM »
I'm sure there's more, but what stands out is:
Money sacrificed to live this outrageously expensive lifestyle.
The entire concept of dating the way it is non-religious circles (as a single and even while married).
When all your friends spend that way you don't notice. Same thing applies to dating. You don't think about it until you see your friends acting like that

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #34 on: January 10, 2018, 06:40:14 PM »
Yes, you got my definition of pseudofrum.

It bothers me for a few reasons:
1. As mentioned we are buying into the exorbitantly expensive frum lifestyle
2. We (personally) have a lot of daven for (not just in a general world peace kind of way....)
3. Like @iAm mentioned, my daughter is nearly 3 and I want her father davening to be a part of life.
4. It makes me not respect him, because I see him as teenager slacking off, not taking his responsibility to his family, to his parenting role seriously
5. I daven on occasion- but then it's not my mitzvah.
Does he talk to Hashem at all? Has he ever? I don't mean davening from a siddur. I just mean talking and praying to Gd.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline elit

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #35 on: January 10, 2018, 06:44:24 PM »
that may have been the OP's point but i am sure to many people who do daven a bigger struggle is going to a Minyan especially for Mincha/Maariv

a shul i go to there is a running joke when a certain individual shows up which rarely happens but everyone knows when he does because they give him an aliyah every time he shows up
I understand but IMO they are 2 totally different things.
hard for me personally  to.understand how a person who is more than orthoprax doesn't daven at all on a daily basis

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #36 on: January 10, 2018, 06:45:45 PM »
Does he talk to Hashem at all? Has he ever? I don't mean davening from a siddur. I just mean talking and praying to Gd.

I wouldn't know.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #37 on: January 10, 2018, 06:46:33 PM »
I wouldn't know.
Why? It sounds like something you've clearly spoken about. You'd imagine that would have come up, no?
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Moshke

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #38 on: January 10, 2018, 06:48:52 PM »
I'm sorry but this topic is not and shouldn't be wife's problem.
Your husbands Yiddeshkeit is not your business as long it don't effect the kids or the way you wanna raise ur family.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #39 on: January 10, 2018, 06:49:54 PM »
lol I dont think there is malicious intent. I just think that there's a misunderstanding of what counts in "The Male Mind" for being a good Jew.

So what counts?

It just all seems so arbitrary...
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #40 on: January 10, 2018, 06:51:43 PM »
I'm sorry but this topic is not and shouldn't be wife's problem.
Your husbands Yiddeshkeit is not your business as long it don't effect the kids or the way you wanna raise ur family.

Yes, this was the way I tried to think about it until I realized that I don't respect him because of it... Which causes a whole host of other problems.

And we are raising a family.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #41 on: January 10, 2018, 06:52:20 PM »
I'm sorry but this topic is not and shouldn't be wife's problem.
Your husbands Yiddeshkeit is not your business as long it don't effect the kids or the way you wanna raise ur family.
A. I'm pretty sure she said it does affect how she wants her kids to be raised.
B. Whether it should or shouldn't be a problem she is clearing having a hard time with it and it's in her best interest to work it out.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline lubaby

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #42 on: January 10, 2018, 06:53:01 PM »
A woman got up from shiva and tells her husband "I learned two things: Shacharis doesn't take only 15 minutes and maariv doesn't take an hour and a half!"
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Offline Sammy82

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #43 on: January 10, 2018, 06:54:14 PM »
I'm sorry but this topic is not and shouldn't be wife's problem.
Your husbands Yiddeshkeit is not your business as long it don't effect the kids or the way you wanna raise ur family.
You serious? I'm not saying that she should be bossing him around to get to shul on time, learn 5 hours a day, etc but of course she should encourage and appreciate (actually it's she shows her appreciation, it will automatically encourage him) to always strive to grow in ruchnius. And btw, it's the same the other way.

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #44 on: January 10, 2018, 06:54:35 PM »
Yes, this was the way I tried to think about it until I realized that I don't respect him because of it... Which causes a whole host of other problems.
Honestly that part is what sticks out most because it strains your whole relationship.

But the person who can fix that really is you and your thinking.    It's understandable that you may feel like that.  But I definitely think you can work on it so that even if he doesn't start going to davening you can have respect for him.
"Not all who wander are lost"