Poll

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

I'm frum and I (mostly) daven with a minyan 3x a day
86 (60.6%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven without a minyan 3x a day
16 (11.3%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven daily
22 (15.5%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) don't daven every day
13 (9.2%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) daven daily
1 (0.7%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) don't daven daily
4 (2.8%)

Total Members Voted: 142

Author Topic: Do you Daven?  (Read 7139 times)

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #60 on: January 10, 2018, 07:54:34 PM »
https://forward.com/opinion/201814/black-hats-and-wigs-do-not-an-orthodox-jew-make/

Interesting read.

But it seems this is the next step since now some mitzvos are falling out of practice (or perhaps this was the cycle all along).

"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline iAm

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #61 on: January 10, 2018, 07:54:50 PM »
Putting on tefillin has become the new davening. And even that is eroding.
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Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #62 on: January 10, 2018, 07:55:55 PM »
This sounds more like an imamother discussion

I wanted to understand the male perspective behind it.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #63 on: January 10, 2018, 07:59:34 PM »
R’ Shais Taub has covered this on more than 1 occasion. He was very clear that the woman should not be his mashgiach. (Unfortunately I didn’t save that issue)

What does 'being his mashgiach's entail?

If a husband has an issue with his wife's sheitel, looks, weight, job, etc. He can ask/expect her to change, but a wife can't?
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline Moshke

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #64 on: January 10, 2018, 07:59:35 PM »
As a mom of an almost bar mitzvah boy, this is a big issue in my house. My son is very concerned how he will daven mariv daily, since dh doesn't go out at night, unless it's to the gym.

A father that doesn't daven isn't the best role model for the kids. It seems like it would be up to me to drive my son to minyan every night and on days off. This is the main reason why I am sending him to camp.
How your son will go daven is one issue.
But your boy could still be raised on a good track without the father going to daven.

I know 2 situations where husbands that marry off already kids and the father don't daven or go to shull and he is respected in the family actually I don't know the trick how the mother made it but I'm talking from very frum family's.


Offline TimT

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #65 on: January 10, 2018, 08:00:41 PM »
How do you know he doesn’t daven privately ? Has he ever made disparaging remarks about davening ?

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #66 on: January 10, 2018, 08:02:37 PM »
What does 'being his mashgiach's entail?

If a husband has an issue with his wife's sheitel, looks, weight, job, etc. He can ask/expect her to change, but a wife can't?
He shouldn't expect her to change either. Though again I can understand him having issue with any of those things.  The biggest thing you can do now is try to understand what the situation is and how you can work on yourself to be ok with it. If there are things you can do to 'help' your husband feel more connected to praying then great but it's def not the main issue at the moment.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #67 on: January 10, 2018, 08:03:10 PM »
I don't want to go super cynical here, but religion ultimately plays a socio-cultural role in the primordial mans world. We pay for our Jewish lifestyle with time, money, limits etc. because it is the price to pay for belonging to the community and fulfilling that need. Everything then becomes a question of what is the cost, and whats considered belonging.

Although what Im saying above is obviously heretical, as human beings, this is how we function. While a religious person should strive for betterment, and hopefully as they gain responsibility, males will recognize their desire to prey/learn/do mitzvos independently of the Marxian idiom above, I totally do not understand what you are asking in terms of "sacrificing so much." We dont consider it sacrifice...if there were no structures to delineate the community, we wouldnt have a community to be a part of.

I totally understand the social pressures that underpin a society. I'm just surprised that davening 3x a day isn't right there among them.

Take off your black hat and you're no longer Jewish, but skip davening (and tefillin) and you're a still a Sheineh Yid?
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline aygart

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #68 on: January 10, 2018, 08:03:13 PM »
What does 'being his mashgiach's entail?

If a husband has an issue with his wife's sheitel, looks, weight, job, etc. He can ask/expect her to change, but a wife can't?
I think that some here are confusing being a nag over it that he would feel you are always watching and keeping tabs on his davening which would be unhealthy for your marriage and counterproductive with having a serious conversation about something which you consider to be a serious issue. I do not see an issue with having the conversation with him, but there would of course be issues if you ask him every da whether or not he davened.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline smart man

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #69 on: January 10, 2018, 08:03:26 PM »
How do you know he doesn’t daven privately ? Has he ever made disparaging remarks about davening ?
+1 maybe he's a brisker :)
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Offline TimT

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #70 on: January 10, 2018, 08:03:38 PM »
What does 'being his mashgiach's entail?
”Why aren’t you going to shul ?” “How come you never go ?”
If a husband has an issue with his wife's sheitel, looks, weight, job, etc. He can ask/expect her to change, but a wife can't?
He shouldn’t be bossy either

Offline Moshke

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #71 on: January 10, 2018, 08:04:01 PM »
How do you know he doesn’t daven privately ? Has he ever made disparaging remarks about davening ?
Are you referring to me?
I was with 1 of them on plenty occasions where you must stop what u do to daven Mincha and I did and he not.

Offline aygart

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #72 on: January 10, 2018, 08:04:15 PM »
I totally understand the social pressures that underpin a society. I'm just surprised that davening 3x a day isn't right there among them.

Take off your black hat and you're no longer Jewish, but skip davening (and tefillin) and you're a still a Sheineh Yid?
One is definitely more visible than the other.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #73 on: January 10, 2018, 08:04:50 PM »
I totally understand the social pressures that underpin a society. I'm just surprised that davening 3x a day isn't right there among them.

Take off your black hat and you're no longer Jewish, but skip davening (and tefillin) and you're a still a Sheineh Yid?
This really depends on your community.  There are plenty of good frum yidden I know that only daven in shul on Shabbas but talk to Hashem privately in their own way throughout their days.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline TimT

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #74 on: January 10, 2018, 08:10:23 PM »
Are you referring to me?
I was with 1 of them on plenty occasions where you must stop what u do to daven Mincha and I did and he not.
OP