Poll

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

I'm frum and I (mostly) daven with a minyan 3x a day
94 (60.6%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven without a minyan 3x a day
19 (12.3%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven daily
23 (14.8%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) don't daven every day
13 (8.4%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) daven daily
2 (1.3%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) don't daven daily
4 (2.6%)

Total Members Voted: 155

Author Topic: Do you Daven?  (Read 59715 times)

Offline 12HRS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #280 on: January 12, 2018, 01:49:22 AM »
Actually the only method that works (at least for Shabbos tefillos) is my leaving the house after candlelighting and again Shabbos afternoon.

Can you elaborate on this? It sounds to me like one of the reasons he stays home on shabbos is because he enjoys your company?

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #281 on: January 12, 2018, 02:37:57 AM »

I don't go to shull during the week, I'm not lazy, I'm just a self employed person who isn't good with mornings.. I'd like to wake at 6 and bike till 7 and watch the sunrise but I don't.

That doesn't make me a bad person, I still love sunrises and bike riding.
Well, in some places you can get a minyan for shachris almost all day long ;)
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline shiframeir

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #282 on: January 12, 2018, 02:42:41 AM »
Is it possible that if you would spend more time on iyun tefilla and truly understanding purpose of tefilla, the limud from sources like mabit, rambam, etc. (As if it was a sugya), you'd find more meaning in tefilla as established by the chachomim?
of course its possible, can you give me some specific sources? i dont think i ever learned the mabit but i learned the rambam on the mitzvah of tefila a while back. but what it comes down to in my "busy" life is i have to prioritize things, i cant be everything or i will fall apart. i work a lot, and i need to be there for my family (getting kids dressed/to the bus stop), i need to learn a bit of hashkafa/mussar (can't really learn random gemarah without a focus in my limited time) and i need to somehow find a few minutes to relax too. to dedicate 35 minutes plus commute to a  shachris at shul and another 30 to mincha/maariv does not look in the cards unless i am somehow convinced that Hashem wants me to do that over the other things i think i need to do based on innate/contractual responsibilities. one day when the world is kulo shabbas i'll hopefully find a nice uplifting minyan to stroll into...

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #283 on: January 12, 2018, 02:49:54 AM »

I live in a very oot community.one of the ways people were trying to sell it,to me was the sense of contributing and being needed.  For me it wasn't a selling point but now that I'm here (for many years already) i see how true it is.

It's surprising how few people come to minyan and who does or doesn't come.  Many of the more heimeshe people do not come daily.  What surprised me the most was that even Friday night it's a shvache crowd.  I asked someone in ny at the time if people there could get away with coming just shabbos morning and the answer was unfortunately yes.
Years ago I was (unfortunately) not stringent about minyanim. That has changed. I am not sure if it was just a sense of responsibility to show proper example to my kids, or whether it was a different maturity that came about.

When we attend an OOT family Simcha, I am usually the first to inquire about minyanim. Some of my brothers in law might not have the luxury of daily minyanim (it’s their responsibility, but sometimes one just doesn’t get the people to join), and I think that as a result are less stringent about it even when visiting in town.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline cmey

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #284 on: January 12, 2018, 10:41:20 AM »
It’s true that you will find some yeshivish style people who are lax when it comes to davening and others who are far less yeshivish style who will never miss a davening. However, it was always interesting to me when I came across couples who will have no issue with viewing films/ shows etc., going to exotic locations for vacation that are full of inappropriately attired people (I’ve seen some of the “separate swimming” venues- some of these location aren’t even ostensibly separate) etc.; things that are arguably more problematic on (at least) a Rabbinic level than prayer, yet can’t come to terms with their spouses lax attitude towards prayer. (For example, if hypothetically the only option to pray is to stroll through such an area for an extended period of time so that looking is unavoidable, one would presumably not be allowed to pray).

I not saying this is true in the OPs case but I have difficulty understanding a spouse that views the former as being in consonance with the husbands frum lifestyle but the laxity in prayer as hypocritical, and a contradiction to being frum. If we are talking social/ communal pressure I get that. But if the issue is fidelity to religious observance, why draw the line arbitrarily at a lower level Rabbinic mitzvah? Is it realistic to expect someone to live that kind of lifestyle and then flip a switch 3 times a day to suddenly be motivated to fulfil this particular mitzvah? I know some will say it’s analagous to putting on a yarmulke etc. which makes a statement about ones religiosity. I get that. But that assumes that in the husbands circle quiet absenteeism from davening makes that kind of a statement, and I’m not so certain that it does. And the husband and wife may have differing views as to what if any statement it does make.So let’s honestly define the issue. The issue is not the contradiction to ones frumkeit per se, rather the statement that it may send to ones children or others in the community at large. “The first step is to define the problem”.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 10:50:29 AM by cmey »

Online aygart

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #285 on: January 12, 2018, 11:04:30 AM »
(For example, if hypothetically the only option to pray is to stroll through such an area for an extended period of time so that looking is unavoidable, one would presumably not be allowed to pray).

ליכא דרכא אחרינא is mutar
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline hvaces42

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #286 on: January 13, 2018, 01:49:56 PM »
Cant believe I've missed out on this whole conversation.

My personal experience was ehen i was younger i struggled with mincha and maariv but shachris was always in shul. That doesnt necessarily mean with minyan but it was in shul.

As I got older, my kids going to minyan has strengthened my attendance. Hoe can a father see his kids not miss one minyan from age 12 on and not be inspired.

I hear and see so many "fake frum" just wear the uniform and do none of the work required and expected of someone who wears the uniform.
Fair warning - Any PMs sent in response to forum posts are fair game for ridicule in public.

Offline shiframeir

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #287 on: February 13, 2018, 03:06:26 PM »

Offline ADG

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #288 on: February 13, 2018, 03:35:19 PM »
This guy is off the chart nuts. Any honest person will have no doubt there is a God

Offline skyguy918

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #289 on: February 13, 2018, 03:45:42 PM »
Somewhat relevant. https://twitter.com/lipaschmeltzer/status/963171704766976000
What a dumb answer. If she doesn't care whether her boyfriend believes in G-d, then she wouldn't have asked. If she's not sure whether that's something she cares about in a boyfriend, his answer didn't address her question. And if does care and wants someone who believes in G-d, then obviously his honesty doesn't redeem the fact that he doesn't believe in G-d. The fact that supposedly other people only profess to believe in G-d (but deep down really they don't) changes nothing about that equation.

Offline mercaz1

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #290 on: February 13, 2018, 03:49:13 PM »
Lipa should have a relationship show on the radio and can keep giving ridiculous answers

Offline TimT

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #291 on: February 13, 2018, 03:50:37 PM »
It starts with “don’t listen to your Rav” & ends with this.
א שיינע פנים

Offline cmey

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #292 on: February 13, 2018, 04:16:46 PM »
It starts with “don’t listen to your Rav” & ends with this.
א שיינע פנים

Anyone who thinks for himself could have seen this coming years ago. Same with Matisyahu.

Offline ShlockDoc

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #293 on: February 13, 2018, 04:17:45 PM »
Any honest person will have no doubt there is a God

ALOL

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #294 on: February 13, 2018, 04:22:33 PM »

Online aygart

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #295 on: February 13, 2018, 04:25:43 PM »
He is somewhat irrelevant.
That is somewhat location based.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #296 on: February 13, 2018, 06:51:49 PM »
That is somewhat location based.
Really?

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #297 on: February 13, 2018, 06:52:37 PM »
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #298 on: February 13, 2018, 07:25:34 PM »
He is somewhat irrelevant.
Pretty sure we're supposed get all manner of relationship, religious and moral advice and counsel from talented song writers.

At least that's what Shlomo Carlebach told me.

Offline ADG

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #299 on: February 14, 2018, 10:38:25 AM »
Pretty sure we're supposed get all manner of relationship, religious and moral advice and counsel from talented song writers.

At least that's what Shlomo Carlebach told me.

Cant tell if your joking or not- it is still funny- the nafka mina is whether to laugh or cry...