Author Topic: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?  (Read 26965 times)

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15618
  • Total likes: 7710
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive PlatinumŽ
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #60 on: January 11, 2018, 03:11:02 PM »
http://matzav.com/matzav-shmooze-are-we-creating-two-different-products/

this?


Not
Not at all an issue for me. My boys' and girls' education is in total sync.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline Yammer

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Posts: 3695
  • Total likes: 217
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #61 on: January 11, 2018, 03:17:39 PM »
Maybe they should check out this
https://theshmuz.com/marriage-seminar/
Our parents and grandparents didn't have that information either.

We changed and therefore may need it

Offline tzifanya54

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2012
  • Posts: 5629
  • Total likes: 233
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #62 on: January 11, 2018, 03:23:01 PM »
Very loaded topics in JS these days....

Offline mmgfarb

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Dec 2015
  • Posts: 8355
  • Total likes: 1110
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #63 on: January 11, 2018, 03:30:05 PM »
These
And how much worse would it have been if the parents had stayed married?
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline Baruch

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jan 2013
  • Posts: 2604
  • Total likes: 335
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #64 on: January 11, 2018, 03:33:31 PM »
Not necessarily, it may be way better off for the kids to grow up with two loving, albeit separated, parents, than to grow up in a house where the parents hate each other.
True. That's why I wrote that it "may" be better. פעמים כן פעמים לא

Offline Baruch

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jan 2013
  • Posts: 2604
  • Total likes: 335
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #65 on: January 11, 2018, 03:35:18 PM »
True. That's why I wrote that it "may" be better. פעמים כן פעמים לא
That's why I said "may" it obviously depends on the parents.

Offline moko

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 4567
  • Total likes: 1484
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: BOS
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #66 on: January 11, 2018, 03:37:28 PM »
If you internalize it to the point where you don't feel like you have a "choice" but to live a certain way then yes, to some extent...
so if someone feels like eating kosher is the only way of life for himself and would never entertain not eating kosher that's a result of brainwashing as opposed to education? How about smoking?

Offline aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17395
  • Total likes: 14333
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #67 on: January 11, 2018, 03:40:13 PM »
And how much worse would it have been if the parents had stayed married?
If you can find one ask them.

R' Goldscmidt likes to quote the talmid who wrote 2+2=0 (or maybe it was 1+1=0, sorry @Achas Veachas )
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline iAm

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Apr 2015
  • Posts: 149
  • Total likes: 39
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #68 on: January 11, 2018, 03:40:20 PM »
so if someone feels like eating kosher is the only way of life for himself and would never entertain not eating kosher that's a result of brainwashing as opposed to education? How about smoking?

Its not brainwashing. Its Determinism.

Determinism is the philosophical theory that all events, including moral choices, are completely determined by previously existing causes. Determinism is usually understood to preclude free will because it entails that humans cannot act otherwise than they do. The theory holds that the universe is utterly rational because complete knowledge of any given situation assures that unerring knowledge of its future is also possible.
iThink. Ergo. iAm

Offline Redbull3

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2011
  • Posts: 3492
  • Total likes: 417
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Programs: Blocked By @NeriaKraus
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #69 on: January 11, 2018, 03:41:30 PM »

Offline moko

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 4567
  • Total likes: 1484
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: BOS
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #70 on: January 11, 2018, 03:45:00 PM »
Its not brainwashing. Its Determinism.

Determinism is the philosophical theory that all events, including moral choices, are completely determined by previously existing causes. Determinism is usually understood to preclude free will because it entails that humans cannot act otherwise than they do. The theory holds that the universe is utterly rational because complete knowledge of any given situation assures that unerring knowledge of its future is also possible.
I think many would argue that what you just called brainwashing is in fact determinism.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2014
  • Posts: 6738
  • Total likes: 1097
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #71 on: January 11, 2018, 03:45:55 PM »
95% of the divorces in "the community" are not abusive situations.
Unfortunately they would be a very hard figure to come up with.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2014
  • Posts: 6738
  • Total likes: 1097
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #72 on: January 11, 2018, 03:47:13 PM »
Care to explain...?
I don't think you really want me to.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline Redbull3

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2011
  • Posts: 3492
  • Total likes: 417
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Programs: Blocked By @NeriaKraus
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #73 on: January 11, 2018, 03:49:58 PM »
so if someone feels like eating kosher is the only way of life for himself and would never entertain not eating kosher that's a result of brainwashing as opposed to education? How about smoking?
So this back and forth started with women shaving their heads and CM/Dan referring to this as forced and I agreed with that. As Dan mentioned, if a school won't accept your kids unless you do x, that is basically forcing them to do X. Likewise, if you will ostracize someone for not doing something from the community, you are forcing them to live a certain lifestyle.
I'm not talking about someone shaving their head because it's what they want to do for themselves. Or eat kosher or smoke. In that case they are making a lifestyle choice without considering the opinions of others.
I'm saying there are societal influences you can't ignore. Once other people's opinions affect your choices, you aren't operating at 100% free will.
Maybe brainwash is the wrong word.
If we label and ostracize people who don't act a certain way, we are collectively influencing them to act how we want.

Offline Redbull3

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2011
  • Posts: 3492
  • Total likes: 417
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Programs: Blocked By @NeriaKraus
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #74 on: January 11, 2018, 03:55:49 PM »
BTW I only used the term brainwashing in reference to scientologists who believe they are in the hole voluntarily. Not to include anyone who ever makes any decision with outside influence ever.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2014
  • Posts: 6738
  • Total likes: 1097
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #75 on: January 11, 2018, 03:56:53 PM »
I'm saying there are societal influences you can't ignore. Once other people's opinions affect your choices, you aren't operating at 100% free will.
This is a big reason individuals stay married when they shouldn't.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline beeweegee

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Sep 2013
  • Posts: 1588
  • Total likes: 141
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York, NY
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #76 on: January 11, 2018, 03:58:01 PM »
I don't think you really want me to.
That's what I was afraid of.

I guess my question then is whether or not you really believe that. There definitely are those who do, just curious where you fall.

Offline Dawie

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 1611
  • Total likes: 491
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: KBLM
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #77 on: January 11, 2018, 03:58:49 PM »
Without going into a discussion of whether this is fact or not, our generation is accustomed to quick easy solutions.

Marriage requires work!
Bingo
Also the entitlement
the ME generation
The quick fix generation

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2014
  • Posts: 6738
  • Total likes: 1097
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #78 on: January 11, 2018, 03:59:24 PM »
That's what I was afraid of.
Don't shoot the messenger.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 4183
  • Total likes: 447
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #79 on: January 11, 2018, 04:06:00 PM »
Bingo
Also the entitlement
the ME generation
The quick fix generation

the labeling generation