Author Topic: How do U define yourself, what does it mean & how would you like to see your kid  (Read 4102 times)

Offline ExGingi

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Thanks @ExGingi for the thread. Very thought provoking. I'd label myself as a frum yid, but don't think i can specify more. I was raised by one derech, taught in another, and have grown to be my own mix of it all. I pray my child (and Imy"h, one day children) grow to be strong in their religion, while finding a balance in the struggles we have in our world, unfortunately, a prayer that becomes bigger with every passing day.
Thanks for your response.

Please try to give it additional thought, and elaborate what your label (frum yid) means to you. (That question is often asked on DDF).

For example, is davening 3 times a day (with/without minyan) an absolute requisite? Are there any specific mitzvos, or red lines that would define for you whether you would consider your own child to be “frum” as per your own self definition?
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline aygart

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Was judge Charles P Sifton a Lubaitcher?
Never heard of him. Was his mother Jewish?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ExGingi

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Never heard of him. Was his mother Jewish?
GIYF.

Not AFAIK.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline aygart

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Not AFAIK.
Then I don't know. The only criterion I know of is that. The rest is all only a question of eichus.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ExGingi

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Then I don't know. The only criteria I know of is that. The rest is all only a question of eichus.
On the eichus part he definitely would score an A+++ according to many. Definitely on account of his consideration for the Rebbe’s words.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline aygart

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On the eichus part he definitely would score an A+++ according to many.
Eichus needs to be of something which already exists
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline ExGingi

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Eichus needs to be of something which already exists
We could continue that conversation elsewhere. It really doesn’t belong in this thread, as it is limited to self identification and labeling.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline aygart

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We could continue that conversation elsewhere. It really doesn’t belong in this thread, as it is limited to self identification and labeling.
Fine. You haven't commented on how I define
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline as2

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Thanks for your response.

Please try to give it additional thought, and elaborate what your label (frum yid) means to you. (That question is often asked on DDF).

For example, is davening 3 times a day (with/without minyan) an absolute requisite? Are there any specific mitzvos, or red lines that would define for you whether you would consider your own child to be “frum” as per your own self definition?

I'd put it like this: I know where I'm lacking, and instead of justifying those shortcomings, I strive for better. Some tend to say, "kosher is too hard" or "minyan is too hard" or anything in between. I try to realize that while I may not be holding at the point I want to be, I can accept it, and still strive to perfect myself. Do I make it to minyan 3 times a day? Not necessarily. Do I want to? Yes, and that's what I work towards. I try to apply that to all the religious struggles I have, instead of allowing myself to become comfortable with where I am now. I cannot say what exactly I want from my son, as he is young, but I want him to live a life where he is happy. Happy as a person, and more so as a religious Jew. I want my child to keep Shabbos, kosher, T"H. I want him to daven, and put on tfillin. Less than that, I would probably be disappointed with myself, as well as him. Who knows what the future will do to these thoughts though.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 02:07:09 AM by as2 »

Offline Definitions

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1. How do I define myself?
I would label myself as a "not frum, religious Jew".

2. What does that mean to me?
The best way I can explain it in short, is that I don't feel the need to listen to halacha. How do I define "halacha"? In this context it means any halacha that I don't think is included in Torah shebiksav. So I guess another label for me would be "someone who is very similar to the tzedokim".

3. How would I like to see my kids?
I would want them to have a very strong belief in Hashem and in תנ"ך. I would want them to have a close relationship with Hashem. And I think "close relationship" is self explanatory but I'll explain what that means to me. It means that you always keep in mind that there's a God and you daven to Him for anything that you feel you want. It means that you thank Him for any small thing that He gives you. It means thanking Him for preventing any damage whether monetary or physical. It means asking for forgiveness for things that you could have done better and didn't (Kal vechomer to wrong things). I think that those 4 things are the basics of how I would define a close relationship.

If the mods feels that this post isn't appropriate, I fully understand. It's just something I've wanted to get off my chest recently and this thread seemed like the right spot. Although I'm assuming ExGingi wasn't looking for this type of answer. (Especially since the reverse of how I define myself would not give an accurate explanation of how I define "frum").


Offline ExGingi

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1. How do I define myself?
I would label myself as a "not frum, religious Jew".

2. What does that mean to me?
The best way I can explain it in short, is that I don't feel the need to listen to halacha. How do I define "halacha"? In this context it means any halacha that I don't think is included in Torah shebiksav. So I guess another label for me would be "someone who is very similar to the tzedokim".

3. How would I like to see my kids?
I would want them to have a very strong belief in Hashem and in תנ"ך. I would want them to have a close relationship with Hashem. And I think "close relationship" is self explanatory but I'll explain what that means to me. It means that you always keep in mind that there's a God and you daven to Him for anything that you feel you want. It means that you thank Him for any small thing that He gives you. It means thanking Him for preventing any damage whether monetary or physical. It means asking for forgiveness for things that you could have done better and didn't (Kal vechomer to wrong things). I think that those 4 things are the basics of how I would define a close relationship.

If the mods feels that this post isn't appropriate, I fully understand. It's just something I've wanted to get off my chest recently and this thread seemed like the right spot. Although I'm assuming ExGingi wasn't looking for this type of answer. (Especially since the reverse of how I define myself would not give an accurate explanation of how I define "frum").
On the contrary. Your post is most welcome. It was obviously important to you to a great extent. Is your wife on the same page? How does any of this translate into education choices for your children? Do you belong to a community, and if yes, do you feel that your self definition is understood by others?

And since we only want self definition here, we don’t really care how you define frum, as that isn’t how you define yourself. So no need to worry about that part.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 03:25:39 AM by ExGingi »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline as2

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1. How do I define myself?
I would label myself as a "not frum, religious Jew".

2. What does that mean to me?
The best way I can explain it in short, is that I don't feel the need to listen to halacha. How do I define "halacha"? In this context it means any halacha that I don't think is included in Torah shebiksav. So I guess another label for me would be "someone who is very similar to the tzedokim".

3. How would I like to see my kids?
I would want them to have a very strong belief in Hashem and in תנ"ך. I would want them to have a close relationship with Hashem. And I think "close relationship" is self explanatory but I'll explain what that means to me. It means that you always keep in mind that there's a God and you daven to Him for anything that you feel you want. It means that you thank Him for any small thing that He gives you. It means thanking Him for preventing any damage whether monetary or physical. It means asking for forgiveness for things that you could have done better and didn't (Kal vechomer to wrong things). I think that those 4 things are the basics of how I would define a close relationship.

If the mods feels that this post isn't appropriate, I fully understand. It's just something I've wanted to get off my chest recently and this thread seemed like the right spot. Although I'm assuming ExGingi wasn't looking for this type of answer. (Especially since the reverse of how I define myself would not give an accurate explanation of how I define "frum").
Glad to see this topic intrigued you enough to come out of lurking In a most no judgmental tone, I ask, what makes you value some mitzvos/halachos over others? What makes תורה שבכתב more important to you? I can see why בעל פה may have less importance to one, but what is it that maintains you value of בכתב?
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 09:06:32 AM by as2 »

Offline ExGingi

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Glad to see this topic intrigued you enough to come out of lurking
Or just create a new username in order to be more anonymous. Which IINM @Dan recently indicated he allows for these kinds of topics.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline as2

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Or just create a new username in order to be more anonymous. Which IINM @Dan recently indicated he allows for these kinds of topics.
Good point, didn't think of that.

Offline ADG

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I define myself as a chosid. A chosid is a giver- from the Hebrew word chessed which means benevolence. A chosid is involved with giving sustenance to the Creator, by awakening jewish pride, jewish values in others. To draw Hashem's essence into Torah and into the world thus making the world a place worthy for Hashem's presence to dwell in His full Glory- in other words being a Giver. To give the Rebbe Nachas, as I am his soldier, his chosid.

As far as my kids, I want to see them do it better then me.