Author Topic: How do U define yourself, what does it mean & how would you like to see your kid  (Read 31438 times)

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
I would respond to your comment ,if not for your violation of the rules I set in the OP. I will therefore ask mods to delete your post as well as others that don't stick to the rules set forth in the OP.

Not sure why you don't consider yourself that way? Isn't your mother Jewish?
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
I strive to be a ben torah and talmid chochom and hope my children do the same.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline JoeyShmoe

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2014
  • Posts: 1276
  • Total likes: 254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood
Just a side note.. Sometimes I don't know if 'not doing anything without asking my Rebbe'  was really the way Hashem intended us to be. Like somehow it inhibits personal growth.
I should rephrase that to "I don't make a big decisions without getting a Bracha from my Rebbe"
DDF A-Z Link Extension
Chrome
Firefox
Info

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
I strive to be a ben torah and talmid chochom and hope my children do the same.
What do those labels mean to you? Please be as detailed and as coherent as only you could be.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
What do those labels mean to you? Please be as detailed and as coherent as only you could be.
Someone who lives a life based on the torah and learning it.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Not sure why you don't consider yourself that way? Isn't your mother Jewish?
עס ווענדט זיך וואו מ׳רעדט.

What is accurate on a JS discussion, might not suffice for the purpose of this thread.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®

I grew up Heimish, my Father was real Litvish but sent his boys to Chasidish schools (he put on a Shtreimel a couple of years ago at my Brother's wedding, more of a peer pressure/social thing than anything else). As a teenager I went to a Hungarian Yeshiva with a Rebbe (the type that became Chassidish after the war), which was also the Rosh Yeshiva and I consider myself a Talmid/Chusid there. So, if I had to label myself, I'd probably consider myself Heimish/Chasidish more toward Chasidish (although I don't really learn Chassidish Sefurim).

I would like my kids to grow up and find themselves a Moreh Derech (not necessarily the same as mine), regardless of the label, as long as they have a Talmid Chuchem to follow and be in touch with. My kids know that I don't do anything without asking my Rebbe first, that I have the utmost respect for my Rebbe and that I'll do whatever he tells me in a heartbeat. I would like for them to have someone like that too
Thanks for your meaningful response.

I actually feel that I lack in my hiskashrus in that I don’t write to the Rebbe any way near what it should be. Sometimes my wife tells me how it bothers her that I don’t do it enough. She says that in her home there was more emphasis about the Rebbe.

I envy those that write to the Rebbe often. It might have been lack of a good mashpia during my formative years, but it’s definitely lacking in my life, and I lament it. I occasionally try to rectify this, but so far any initiative has unfortunately faltered with the everyday grind of life.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®

I’m having trouble understanding this
Let’s use the label “Lubavitcher” as an example. If one is labeled as such, what does it mean? Is it one that goes to the ohel, or one that doesn’t? Can one be a Lubaitcher with a trimmed beard? How about nusach hatefillah, is nusach Ari davening a requirement? How about the other way around? Is anyone who davens nusach Ari considered a Lubavitcher? And the list goes on and on.

So without defining what a label means, it doesn’t say much. In order to avoid going into any negativity, it’s important to stick exclusively to self-labeling.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline as2

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 5671
  • Total likes: 917
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 24
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Thanks @ExGingi for the thread. Very thought provoking. I'd label myself as a frum yid, but don't think i can specify more. I was raised by one derech, taught in another, and have grown to be my own mix of it all. I pray my child (and Imy"h, one day children) grow to be strong in their religion, while finding a balance in the struggles we have in our world, unfortunately, a prayer that becomes bigger with every passing day.
Memories last forever, make them while you can.

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Not sure why you don't consider yourself that way? Isn't your mother Jewish?
Was judge Charles P Sifton a Lubavitcher?
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 12:36:04 AM by ExGingi »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®

Thanks @ExGingi for the thread. Very thought provoking. I'd label myself as a frum yid, but don't think i can specify more. I was raised by one derech, taught in another, and have grown to be my own mix of it all. I pray my child (and Imy"h, one day children) grow to be strong in their religion, while finding a balance in the struggles we have in our world, unfortunately, a prayer that becomes bigger with every passing day.
Thanks for your response.

Please try to give it additional thought, and elaborate what your label (frum yid) means to you. (That question is often asked on DDF).

For example, is davening 3 times a day (with/without minyan) an absolute requisite? Are there any specific mitzvos, or red lines that would define for you whether you would consider your own child to be “frum” as per your own self definition?
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Was judge Charles P Sifton a Lubaitcher?
Never heard of him. Was his mother Jewish?
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®

Never heard of him. Was his mother Jewish?
GIYF.

Not AFAIK.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Not AFAIK.
Then I don't know. The only criterion I know of is that. The rest is all only a question of eichus.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Then I don't know. The only criteria I know of is that. The rest is all only a question of eichus.
On the eichus part he definitely would score an A+++ according to many. Definitely on account of his consideration for the Rebbe’s words.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
On the eichus part he definitely would score an A+++ according to many.
Eichus needs to be of something which already exists
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15620
  • Total likes: 7712
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®

Eichus needs to be of something which already exists
We could continue that conversation elsewhere. It really doesn’t belong in this thread, as it is limited to self identification and labeling.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 17399
  • Total likes: 14339
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
We could continue that conversation elsewhere. It really doesn’t belong in this thread, as it is limited to self identification and labeling.
Fine. You haven't commented on how I define
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline as2

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 5671
  • Total likes: 917
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 24
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Thanks for your response.

Please try to give it additional thought, and elaborate what your label (frum yid) means to you. (That question is often asked on DDF).

For example, is davening 3 times a day (with/without minyan) an absolute requisite? Are there any specific mitzvos, or red lines that would define for you whether you would consider your own child to be “frum” as per your own self definition?

I'd put it like this: I know where I'm lacking, and instead of justifying those shortcomings, I strive for better. Some tend to say, "kosher is too hard" or "minyan is too hard" or anything in between. I try to realize that while I may not be holding at the point I want to be, I can accept it, and still strive to perfect myself. Do I make it to minyan 3 times a day? Not necessarily. Do I want to? Yes, and that's what I work towards. I try to apply that to all the religious struggles I have, instead of allowing myself to become comfortable with where I am now. I cannot say what exactly I want from my son, as he is young, but I want him to live a life where he is happy. Happy as a person, and more so as a religious Jew. I want my child to keep Shabbos, kosher, T"H. I want him to daven, and put on tfillin. Less than that, I would probably be disappointed with myself, as well as him. Who knows what the future will do to these thoughts though.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 02:07:09 AM by as2 »
Memories last forever, make them while you can.

Offline Definitions

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jan 2018
  • Posts: 1748
  • Total likes: 480
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
1. How do I define myself?
I would label myself as a "not frum, religious Jew".

2. What does that mean to me?
The best way I can explain it in short, is that I don't feel the need to listen to halacha. How do I define "halacha"? In this context it means any halacha that I don't think is included in Torah shebiksav. So I guess another label for me would be "someone who is very similar to the tzedokim".

3. How would I like to see my kids?
I would want them to have a very strong belief in Hashem and in תנ"ך. I would want them to have a close relationship with Hashem. And I think "close relationship" is self explanatory but I'll explain what that means to me. It means that you always keep in mind that there's a God and you daven to Him for anything that you feel you want. It means that you thank Him for any small thing that He gives you. It means thanking Him for preventing any damage whether monetary or physical. It means asking for forgiveness for things that you could have done better and didn't (Kal vechomer to wrong things). I think that those 4 things are the basics of how I would define a close relationship.

If the mods feels that this post isn't appropriate, I fully understand. It's just something I've wanted to get off my chest recently and this thread seemed like the right spot. Although I'm assuming ExGingi wasn't looking for this type of answer. (Especially since the reverse of how I define myself would not give an accurate explanation of how I define "frum").

My Tapatalk notifications don't always work.