Author Topic: Dating in the jewish world while disabled  (Read 4007 times)

Offline Dan

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #60 on: February 13, 2018, 06:04:41 PM »
Does G-d test us at times (non-PC)?
Of course. But we're not allowed to put ourselves in that situation willingly.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline cmey

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #61 on: February 13, 2018, 06:05:48 PM »
I look at it differently. I true test of ones faith is when you overcome these situations. Trying to constantly shield someone IMHO does a disservice.

Some of the greatest sages in our history succumbed/ would have succumbed . The Gemara is brutally honest about even our greatest sages, one of whom told his disciples never to allow him to be secluded with his own daughter in law even for a short time, to demonstrate to his disciples that even the greatest faith will not shield one from temptation. We are simply not wired that way. We believe that by distancing ourselves from temptation we merit Divine help when we do end up in a situation of temptation. Our sages say that King David was not able to overcome his temptation when it came to Bas Sheba (Bathsheba) because he did not merit the Divine assistance he needed to overcome his temptation due to events prior to the test he was now facing....


« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 06:12:57 PM by cmey »

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #62 on: February 13, 2018, 06:19:30 PM »
Does G-d test us at times (non-PC)?
G-d tests us . we dont test ourselves
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Online ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #63 on: February 13, 2018, 06:27:13 PM »
Of course. But we're not allowed to put ourselves in that situation willingly.
Some of the greatest sages in our history succumbed/ would have succumbed . The Gemara is brutally honest about even our greatest sages, one of whom told his disciples never to allow him to be secluded with his own daughter in law even for a short time, to demonstrate to his disciples that even the greatest faith will not shield one from temptation. We are simply not wired that way. We believe that by distancing ourselves from temptation we merit Divine help when we do end up in a situation of temptation. Our sages say that King David was not able to overcome his temptation when it came to Bas Sheba (Bathsheba) because he did not merit the Divine assistance he needed to overcome his temptation due to events prior to the test he was now facing....
Thanks.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline Dan

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #64 on: February 13, 2018, 06:28:50 PM »
Thanks.
May all sound crazy, but would #MeToo be a thing if everyone avoided said situations?
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #65 on: February 13, 2018, 06:29:36 PM »
G-d tests us . we dont test ourselves
I don't look at dating as a test. As far temptation goes I would think the internet would be a big one. Way bigger than dating IMHO.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline Dan

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #66 on: February 13, 2018, 06:31:26 PM »
I don't look at dating as a test. As far temptation goes I would think the internet would be a big one. Way bigger than dating IMHO.
I dated girls, but they were pre-vetted and it was a given that it was to establish whether we wanted to marry, not to fool around.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #67 on: February 13, 2018, 06:32:54 PM »
May all sound crazy, but would #MeToo be a thing if everyone avoided said situations?
didnt mayim bialik get into big trouble for just implying that?
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/mayim-bialik-defends-sexual-harassment-comments-w509185
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #68 on: February 13, 2018, 06:33:40 PM »
I don't look at dating as a test. As far temptation goes I would think the internet would be a big one. Way bigger than dating IMHO.
youre right about that!
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Online ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #69 on: February 13, 2018, 06:34:47 PM »
May all sound crazy...
I will agree with you.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline Sport

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #70 on: February 13, 2018, 06:35:05 PM »
I look at it differently. A true test of ones faith is when you overcome these situations. Trying to constantly shield someone IMHO does a disservice.
I Don't think g-d needs out help testing our faith, theres enough challanges without us looking for them.

Offline Dan

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #71 on: February 13, 2018, 06:35:25 PM »
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Dan

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #72 on: February 13, 2018, 06:35:34 PM »
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #73 on: February 13, 2018, 06:36:31 PM »
Sin doesn't always work like that. That's why we don't put ourselves into situations that could lead to it.

I agree that there ought to be a middle ground. But it's not a simple matter.

Judaism isn't about purposely testing one's faith. In fact most of our practices these days are specifically designed to avoid those situations. That's why I don't hold my wife's hand for 2 weeks out of every month...

Of course. But we're not allowed to put ourselves in that situation willingly.



G-d tests us . we dont test ourselves

+1
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I'll tell you later

Offline chevron

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Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
« Reply #74 on: February 13, 2018, 07:17:39 PM »
'This is silly. Any one thats not married at my age, will have one night stands if they so desire.. . I can tell you from experience, its not like the movie "up in the air" but its really easy to hook up if one so desires.. I'm not into one night stands but plenty are and this was where the shiduch system failed them.

I have said time and again, I wont date conventionally. I am not a circus freak.

I met a guy that dated 300 women. Thats not for me