BDE 11 year old frum boy commits suicide

[davidrotts63]

The schools won't act if the bully is a son of a wealthy or connected parent. Often those are the kids with a sense of entitlement and power.

The fact that Jewish schools tremble in fear of big donors and let some get away with stuff, shows how unfair things are.

Life Is unfair, the problem isn't fairness, rather corruptness

[yhaller14]

Maybe i just dont get it. No one ever committed suicide from bullying when i was growing up. And there was plenty bullying going on. What is it today that makes the bullying worse than when I was growing up in a non-PC world. The names we were called and the pressures we were subjected to  was far greater than anything I see today. 

Yes it is the schools job to police the bullying and to educate that its wrong. But its not their job to raise the kid, sorry.

Exactly same here, I didn't grow up that long ago but even 10 years ago these stories were almost unheard of...... I don't think the bullying is the issue...... Ya it's teriblle that he got bullied but for someone to go from there and kill themselves at any age has far larger issues and for more going on in their lives then being bullied........

[davidrotts63]

Exactly same here, I didn't grow up that long ago but even 10 years ago these stories were almost unheard of...... I don't think the bullying is the issue...... Ya it's teriblle that he got bullied but for someone to go from there and kill themselves at any age has far larger issues and for more going on in their lives then being bullied........

Wait, is this a common story now? Its one rare case, that should be a wake up call. A major wake up call.

[sky121]

I agree the schools are not protecting victims well enough. Raising kids is a joint effort. You cant only blame the parents and you cant only blame the schools, both are responsible.

The other day I ran into an old chassdish aquantance and they mentioned they were sending their kids to one of the local Bnei Akiva type schools.  Apparently they pulled their son out because of bullying and they couldn't be happier.
It's hard to know when that moment is. And in smaller cities switching schools many times means sending your kid to a different kind of school which also leaves parents hesitant.

[sky121]

Wait, is this a common story now? Its one rare case, that should be a wake up call. A major wake up call.

In the world in general there have been more and more young children commiting suicide.


Bullying in general has also gotten worse.



One reason is because of social media and technology.

But again, that's just one reason.

[davidrotts63]

In the world in general there have been more and more young children commiting suicide.


Bullying in general has also gotten worse.



One reason is because of social media and technology.

But again, that's just one reason.

Another reason is, the talk no action, in taking care of it. There are children not being accounted for.

[aygart]

They should be told it was bullying. It needs to be a real danger. Of course some kids are so evil they wouldnt care

Says the professional who has done hours of careful research into what effect that would have on the children including possible copycats.

[yhaller14]

Wait, is this a common story now? Its one rare case, that should be a wake up call. A major wake up call.

Well even in the frum it's not so rare anymore..... but in general these things are happening way to often

[sky121]

Another family friend of ours.. who are slowing becoming religious pulled 1/3 of their kids out of a local Jewish day school after a year of bullying wasn't dealt with properly. So they switched their 12 year old to the local public school. They too were super apprehensive about it. And worried about her Jewish education etc.   But after seeing the change in their kid they know they made the right decision.

But sometimes it's hard to make.
Nowadays you really have to take these things very seriously though.

[hvaces42]

Wait, is this a common story now? Its one rare case, that should be a wake up call. A major wake up call.

Its not rare. 11 years old is rare, but many teen suicides have been chalked up to bullying.  Everything is blamed on bullying, from suicide, to drugs, to drinking.

In the world in general there have been more and more young children commiting suicide.


Bullying in general has also gotten worse.



One reason is because of social media and technology.

But again, that's just one reason.

I dont agree at all. Just think about all the PC things that would get someone thrown out of school today if mentioned out loud. I think the kids are way more sensitive than we were. I grew up in the 80s in a mainstream yeshiva. We had Holocaust survivor rebbeim who beat us with 2x4's, rulers, open hands, unrelenting punishments. There was plenty of bullying. I dont recall one suicide in a yeshiva that had several hundred students in all the years I was there from K-11.   

[ChaimMoskowitz]

Maybe i just dont get it. No one ever committed suicide from bullying when i was growing up.

You just didn't hear about it.

[Yitzshpitz]

For the child's upbringing, yes. For bullying, no.

If a school is not responding the responsibility is on parents to take action. There are things that a parent can do to help like speak directly to the parents, rebbi or teacher,  show unwavering support for child, switch schools, psychologist or social worker. Obviously the school should prevent this. but why arent we upset at the parents who raised these kids to begin with? Why not start there?

[hvaces42]

Even good parents turn out bad kids.

Rarely

[davidrotts63]

If a school is not responding the responsibility is on parents to take action. There are things that a parent can do to help like speak directly to the parents, rebbi or teacher,  show unwavering support for child, switch schools, psychologist or social worker. Obviously the school should prevent this. but why arent we upset at the parents who raised these kids to begin with? Why not start there?

Because more often then you may think, the parents raised the kids fine. And they took action by making the calls too, but the response is too lame.

[hvaces42]

You just didn't hear about it.

No, it didnt happen.

[davidrotts63]

Rarely

-100

[Amusch]

You just didn't hear about it.

It's possible, but there's definitely an idea of once someone does something, it becomes easier for others to do. Not exactly copycat, because it doesn't even have to be close in time or motivation, just that there's some sort of unfortunate precedent. For example, I don't think you would argue that in the 50's thru 80's there were many mass school shooting, we just didn't hear about them; rather, once it became a thing, even if a crazy and unfortunate thing, others followed suit.

[ChaimMoskowitz]

Rarely

Then we have a massive amount of bad parents.

[sky121]

You just didn't hear about it.

+1 That is probably part of it as well. Def happened.

[Yitzshpitz]

Another family friend of ours.. who are slowing becoming religious pulled 1/3 of their kids out of a local Jewish day school after a year of bullying wasn't dealt with properly. So they switched their 12 year old to the local public school. They too were super apprehensive about it. And worried about her Jewish education etc.   But after seeing the change in their kid they know they made the right decision.

But sometimes it's hard to make.
Nowadays you really have to take these things very seriously though.

+1

Especially where there are many options for schools. You cant be stuck with an attitude of its the school's fault and let your kid suffer and continue to sink.