BDE 11 year old frum boy commits suicide

[ChaimMoskowitz]

Again, I went to elementary school and high school to the same school for 12 of the 14 years I was in school. There was one death in all those years. A kid was hit by a car when he ran into the street. There were no other unexplained deaths, let alone a suicide in all those years in our school. My classmates brother was murdered in another school (and that murder remains unsolved to this day) but thats it.   

So your school was lucky and be grateful for it. The HS I went to was not so lucky.

[yhaller14]

How would you not hear about a death?

Is that a joke? U only hear what they want u to......

[aygart]

I thought he was 65 

That is not who I am referring to. Just look at those who try to bully people into accepting their views on halacha. They try to bully stores into not selling items which they decided aren't kosher even though plenty of rabbonim allow it etc.

[aygart]

Is that a joke? U only hear what they want u to......

So if a kid in the school dies the kids will all think he is still alive. Right. He is sitting right there in his seat.

[ChaimMoskowitz]

Is that a joke? U only hear what they want u to......

There are some individuals that just like to troll me. That's why I just ignore them in certain threads.

[sky121]

+1

Especially where there are many options for schools. You cant be stuck with an attitude of its the school's fault and let your kid suffer and continue to sink.

Well we can address the issue of the schools not dealing with things properly. But parents at the end of the day have to do what's best for their kid.


Sometimes though that's a hard choice to make.

And it's hard to know when it's 'worth' moving your kid or when you should have them 'stick it out'. 

[hvaces42]

So your school was lucky and be grateful for it. The HS I went to was not so lucky.

One of my best friends lost their son not too long ago to suicide at age 15. I have yet to understand what can lead a kid to believe that life is not worth living at that age. So 11 really gives me pause.

I know when we were really struggling financially I went into the school and told them that it will not get better for a few years and and you have to work with me. And they did. It took some explaining and cajoling, but they work with me. While this was going on one of my younger kids confided in us that if we needed money we can use their birthday and chanukah money to get by and we can pay them back. Obviously we didnt, but kids see and feel financial stressors. If we didnt have the open communication with our kids they could have kept that inside and felt that they were the cause of it etc etc. So I'm grateful that we have that communication and openness.   

[Yitzshpitz]

So if a kid in the school dies the kids will all think he is still alive. Right. He is sitting right there in his seat.

Definitely would have heard about a death. But still the point remains that there was bullying back in the day too, we just dont realize or know the effects that the bullying had.

[hvaces42]

Definitely would have heard about a death. But still the point remains that there was bullying back in the day too, we just dont realize or know the effects that the bullying had.

Of course there was bullying. But it didnt affect kids to lead to suicide like it seems to be doing today. We just had thicker skin and it came out elsewhere in our self esteem issues later in life.

[ChaimMoskowitz]

One of my best friends lost their son not too long ago to suicide at age 15. I have yet to understand what can lead a kid to believe that life is not worth living at that age. So 11 really gives me pause.

I have no answers why it happens. All I am pointing out this is not something new. Like everything we do in this new age of technology is all over the front page.

[davidrotts63]

Then obviously they werent good parents. A parent that is in tune with their kids rarely turns out bad kids.

You are blinding yourself, I'm not sure if you are referring to the victim or bully. But regardless, a bully is usually a weaker child, with low self esteem(easier to blame parents). While the victim, can be just anyone, a "more vulnerable" child is or course more vulnerable. But it's the school's responsibility to protect him during hours at least.

[aygart]

Definitely would have heard about a death. But still the point remains that there was bullying back in the day too, we just dont realize or know the effects that the bullying had.

Of course there was bullying. Neither I nor @hvaces42 said otherwise. Just the opposite. He wrote

No one ever committed suicide from bullying when i was growing up. And there was plenty bullying going on

How would we not have heard of it. Similar to what he wrote, I remember 3 children dying while I was in elementary school. One was run over by a bus and the other 2 were sick for a while beforehand.

[davidrotts63]

Of course there was bullying. But it didnt affect kids to lead to suicide like it seems to be doing today. We just had thicker skin and it came out elsewhere in our self esteem issues later in life.

Kids most be tough to fight back, not to ignore it.

[Yitzshpitz]

Of course there was bullying. But it didnt affect kids to lead to suicide like it seems to be doing today. We just had thicker skin and it came out elsewhere in our self esteem issues later in life.

Point is that its a cycle that did not just start the last 10-15 years. Thicker skin on the outside doesnt take away the emotional effects that were incurred on the inside which manifests itself in how people raise their children and the cycle continues. Similar issue as abuse, those that are abused are often the ones that abuse others.

[sky121]

Of course there was bullying. Neither I nor @hvaces42 said otherwise. Just the opposite. He wroteHow would we not have heard of it. Similar to what he wrote, I remember 3 children dying while I was in elementary school. One was run over by a bus and the other 2 were sick for a while beforehand.

I remember hearing about people who passed in my community and only in my adult years did I found out they committed suicide. And my parents both have stories from when they were younger of people in their hometowns who had committed suicide but it wasn't spoken about openly at all.

[hvaces42]

You are blinding yourself, I'm not sure if you are referring to the victim or bully. But regardless, a bully is usually a weaker child, with low self esteem(easier to blame parents). While the victim, can be just anyone, a "more vulnerable" child is or course more vulnerable. But it's the school's responsibility to protect him during hours at least.

Just curious how many do you have and what are their ages?

[gingyguy]

Yes yes yes yes  x10000 for this little kid and all the other kids in similar situations the jewish education system has failed!!

FTFY
as a whole the jewish education system while it has problems (same as any other education system in the world) some big and some small
did not fail. im surprised that no one else said anything on that

[aygart]

There are some individuals that just like to troll me. That's why I just ignore them in certain threads.

See my response to him.

[davidrotts63]

those that are abused are often the ones that abuse others.

+1
Doesn't have to be abused, just a hard life for one reason or another, can lead to bullying.

[hvaces42]

Point is that its a cycle that did not just start the last 10-15 years. Thicker skin on the outside doesnt take away the emotional effects that were incurred on the inside which manifests itself in how people raise their children and the cycle continues. Similar issue as abuse, those that are abused are often the ones that abuse others.

Someone told me early on in my 12-step recovery program that the goal of that program for most of us is to break the cycle. So you have a very valid point. People need to work on themselves to break whatever cycle needs to be broken.