Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread (Read 234300 times)

DaasTora · « **Reply #1500 on:** March 03, 2024, 01:21:57 AM »

“ Got my friend a "get better soon" card. He's not sick. I just think he could get better....”

HudZ · « **Reply #1501 on:** March 03, 2024, 01:38:16 AM »

Quote from: Yehuda57 on August 22, 2018, 05:08:14 PM

https://twitter.com/cholentface/status/1032366897235288064

oh. This is corny. Too corny.

Shush · « **Reply #1502 on:** March 03, 2024, 07:07:23 AM »

Quote from: AsherO on March 03, 2024, 12:28:28 AM

Tito’s Vodka is also corn based

Smirnoff is also corn based (can't say that about the easy to drink part)

AsherO · « **Reply #1503 on:** March 03, 2024, 08:05:16 PM »

Quote from: Shush on March 03, 2024, 07:07:23 AM

Smirnoff is also corn based (can't say that about the easy to drink part)

I was so not aware of this! Amazing how much better Tito’s is, literally day and night.

NTorch · « **Reply #1504 on:** March 04, 2024, 07:35:07 PM »

NTorch · « **Reply #1505 on:** March 05, 2024, 09:42:39 AM »

NTorch · « **Reply #1506 on:** March 06, 2024, 11:47:11 AM »

HudZ · « **Reply #1507 on:** March 06, 2024, 04:18:50 PM »

Cashier: That'll be 19.44

Me: Pulls out a $50 Bill

Cashier: Sorry, we've had a problem with counterfeit bills, have anything smaller?

Me: Pulls out a $25 Bill

YitzyS · « **Reply #1508 on:** March 06, 2024, 06:18:34 PM »

Quote from: HudZ on March 06, 2024, 04:18:50 PM

Cashier: That'll be 19.44

Me: Pulls out a $50 Bill

Cashier: Sorry, we've had a problem with counterfeit bills, have anything smaller?

Me: Pulls out a $25 Bill

Famous Yankel Miller joke. By mistake printed a bunch of $15 bills. Decided to go to a bunch of gas stations and get $1 gas in each. Came to first one, gave them $15 bill, got change - two $7 bills...

Live N Learn · « **Reply #1509 on:** March 07, 2024, 05:47:56 AM »

Q: Why was the snowman going through a bag of carrots?

A: He was picking his nose.

mevinyavin · « **Reply #1510 on:** March 07, 2024, 07:46:02 AM »

NTorch · « **Reply #1511 on:** March 07, 2024, 09:53:32 AM »

HudZ · « **Reply #1512 on:** March 07, 2024, 01:49:40 PM »

Me: Hi Dad, I have a flat tire.

Dad: Ok, I'll call a tow truck. Which tire is it?

Me: The right front tire, and only the bottom is flat.

HudZ · « **Reply #1513 on:** March 07, 2024, 06:39:01 PM »

Me: "Doctor, doctor I think I'm shrinking!"

Doctor: "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient!!"

NTorch · « **Reply #1514 on:** March 08, 2024, 09:40:46 AM »

HudZ · « **Reply #1515 on:** March 10, 2024, 12:18:59 AM »

An extra corny joke with a great pun, l'kavod Rosh Chodesh Adar.

Q: What material was Queen Esthers dress made out of?

A: Poly-Esther!!

YitzyS · « **Reply #1516 on:** March 10, 2024, 12:22:50 AM »

Quote from: HudZ on March 10, 2024, 12:18:59 AM

An extra corny joke with a great pun, l'kavod Rosh Chodesh Adar.

Q: What material was Queen Esthers dress made out of?

A: Poly-Esther!!

And Poly-lactic acid is made from corn...

HudZ · « **Reply #1517 on:** March 10, 2024, 12:34:53 AM »

Quote from: YitzyS on March 10, 2024, 12:22:50 AM

And Poly-lactic acid is made from corn...

Sorry, but that's really not punny.

Suave · « **Reply #1518 on:** March 10, 2024, 10:47:49 AM »

A Meshulach approached me in shul this morning, asked for a small donation for a new Mikvah...
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So i gave him a glass of water...

NTorch · « **Reply #1519 on:** March 11, 2024, 09:18:13 AM »