ok all, here it goes to end :-)
i went to the toyota dealer this mornig and showed him my new key and asked how much to program it, he looked at my old keys left to speak to a guy came back and said 260, basically he said i dont have a real master key, i only have a valet key. he said what happens is when dealers sell u certified cars a lot of times they wont give u a master key bec they dont have it, so they make a dummy key and give it to, he said u dont have a real master key and thats why ur youtube clips arent working either :-) he said he would have to first program the key to the car and then program the unlock and lock buttons, he said even more, that if i would want a master key it would be 500 or so bec the wiring of the car has to be redone, so in short i got messed over, i emailed my ebay guy and will get a full refund on the key :-) so back to sq 1 and will now know i need to get vallet keys
thanks everyone so much for the help...
now where do i get a vallet key?