Loose pants are more tzanua than what a lot of frum women wear nowadays
Ergal, i agree with you one illion percent. R' Simi Rosenblatt once told me that he told a women its better for you to wear pants than it is to wear short skirts... (he has said i can say his name)
Secondly, no one is discussing the mans side of this. Maybe men should wear a ring as a reminder. Dont forget, that men will always be men, but im sure a ring can help the temptation a little more (in a good way).
It happens to me daily. I usually see a flustered look on their face (although I believe I have a polite declining explanation) and I then feel I need to make up for it by being extra conversant and interested to show that I am normal.
I was in a very big college once talking to a few professors and the dean. I remember the one women stuck out her hand and i was about about to shake her hand and she said oh wait, do you hold that its part of your religion not to shake... i said yes, but in front of so many prominent people i knew walking over here i might have this issue and i realized that it would make you feel very uncomfortable in front of the others if i didnt and even if i said the religion answer, and you fully understood it, you still would feel slighted.
(i happened to have known the halacha that shelo bderech chiba theres room to be maykul)