My friend reminded me that I left out 2 awesome parts.
1. On our bush walk our guide hands us impala dung and says: "let's play a game!" He then proceeded to stick the dung in his mouth (at which we point we politely bowed out). The guide and tracker played to see who can spit it out the furthest. He said nobody ever wants to play except for one time that the joke was on him. He got bested by a US Marine who grew up in Georgia playing with watermelon seeds.
2. On our way out, we had some time to kill in JNB and were sitting around. I was eating and had my bag open with some food in it. A policeman came over to us, looks around and says: "treats? You have treat?" After not understanding him for a while he put his hand by his mouth and says "treats! Bubble gum". I told him I didn't have any bubble gum but I handed him a fruit leather and he walked away munching happily.