I consider myself an orthodox jewish man (30s). i wear tzitzis, go to minyan on shabbos/yom tov (with a sefer so i dont get bored if there isnt inspirational group prayer/singing), learn every day and care about learning/torah/mitzvos, keep shabbos and kashrus generally lechumra (though cholov stam/eat OU and rabbanut mehadrin).
I rarely make it to minyan during the week. i daven parts of shacharis every morning REALLY quickly (im talking 5 minutes, birchas hatora, Baruch sheamar, ashrei, yishtabach, shma shmona esrei, aleinu as tefillin come off). i used to daven mincha with a minyan at work when that was easy, but i'd have to switch elevators to go now so i dont and usually just dont say it
. My issue is while i love Hashem and mitzvos etc, i dont really connect with the established prayer service, especially the start your engines ashkenaz silent speed read til the chazan says his line and then onto the next (and i just dont have time for more during the week with a family and a demanding job/people who need my attention). i have random heartfelt prayers at least once a week on average while listening/playing music/learning mussar/meditating. but when it comes to most classic davening, my only kavana is modim/sim shalom/occasionally magen avrohom (i know that's key but still). occasionally think of a sick friend/family member, or daven for someone's parnasah. I have met several people like me, we are a bit to "rational" to get into this whole pray to god for every meal/god changes things just if u ask for it/god craves our prayers.
I wouldnt call myself orthoprax (u are welcome to), but something else. I care/love hashem very much, though obviously dont "fear" him too much bc i think of him like a really chill nice god. I dont think he sweats me skipping out on the rabbinically ordained prayer service/need for attending minyanim, esp if it means i will help my wife/kids/family/friends even a tiny bit more.
my kids are amazing and crazy holy. my son learns so much better than i ever did (im talking reading a whole perek with perfect translation in a hebrew chumash to me with real love and noting questions and answers of rashi with a big smile). i bring my son to shul every shabbos. unfortunately im definitely rubbing off on him (or hes just spoiled) and he obviously doesnt have the same fervor for davening that he has for learning. but i dont know what else i can do.
My point is
@wayfe, your husband is definitely not alone, and if he is a good husband and father and friend, and a grateful human being towards god and observer of his mitzvos, the fact that he doesnt tune into "avodah" doesnt make him bad, he may just be more of a torah or avodah jew.