Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 731070 times)

Offline DovtheBear

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Never seen a DDF thread go off topic? :P
I meant to tell you how much I liked this pic. I get to use use it now instead. ;D
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline Achas Veachas

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I meant to tell you how much I liked this pic. I get to use use it now instead. ;D
Hey! That's copyrighted! Expect a letter from my lawyer... :P

Offline henche

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Hey! That's copyrighted! Expect a letter from my lawyer... :P

I got your back.

Cease and Desist!

Offline DovtheBear

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I got your back.

Cease and Desist!
But you're my lawyer, too! :o
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline Chaikel

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But you're my lawyer, too! :o

It's a conflict of disinterest.
Create professional looking itineraries.
Check out eliteitinerary.com

Offline Achas Veachas

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But you're my lawyer, too! :o

Why can't he screw us both? :P

Offline DovtheBear

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Why can't he screw us both? :P
Aha, good point. After all, we are dealing with a lawyer . :P
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline lubaby

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When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine….
(5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine….
(8 ) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off.’ And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women…
« Last Edit: May 23, 2014, 10:56:59 AM by lubaby »

Offline etech0

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Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline henche

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When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine….
(5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine….
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off.’ And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women…

All anyone needed was the meat anyway, and he did that just find. 

Offline DovtheBear

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All anyone needed was the meat anyway, and he did that just find.
You want to eat it with your hands?
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline henche

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You want to eat it with your hands?

Can use the bbq tools

Offline DovtheBear

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Can use the bbq tools
Ah. But then everyone would have to take turns.
"להסתובב זה לא אומר להיות חופשי"

Offline Achas Veachas

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You want to eat it with your hands?
That's how it works when single guys make a BBQ...

Offline etech0

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That's how it works when single guys make a BBQ...
oy
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Offline dudi

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Offline Joe4007

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If you've ever gone through a colonoscopy, this is worth the read.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html

Offline Achas Veachas

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Offline churnbabychurn

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