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Re: Jokes Master Thread After the Yom Kippur War, Gold Meir comes to Washington to thank President Nixon for the US help in winning the war. During the conversation, he suggests that they have an exchange of Generals. "Seeing that the Israeli generals had experience fighting against soviet equipment and tactics in 67 and 73, it would be beneficial for the US military to learn from them. Maybe you could send us some generals of yours, and in return we could send you generals of ours," suggested Nixon. "Which generals did you have in mind?," asked Meir. "We were thinking maybe Generals Tal, Sharon, and Gur - what Generals would Israel like in return?", replied Nixon. "Only two, " replied Meir, " General Motors and General Electric"
August 30, 2019, 12:25:59 PM
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Re: Riddles!
The three fastest horses:

A horse farmer takes you to his track and asks you to find the 3 fastest horses out of the 25 he owns. There are three parameters/givens to this test:

- Regardless of how many times you run them, the horses are relatively consistent - meaning if horse "A" is faster than horse "B" in one race, he is ALWAYS faster than Horse "B".
- You can't use a stop watch
- You can only race five horses at a time on the track.

What is the minimum number of races you need to run to find horses 1,2, and 3, and how do you set them up?

@yitzgar @etech0 @aygart @Definitions you guys are on the right track.

The answer is 7 - and here is why:
You group them in groups of 5, and Run 5 different races - let's call the groups A,B,C,D,E; and within their groups as 1-5; So A1 is the fastest horse in group A and A5 is the slowest.

In the 6th race, you run all of the first place horses, let's say that the Order of the 6th race is A1,B1,C1,D1,E1

After race 6, given that they're all relatively consistent speed was, you know the following:

- A1 is the fastest horse
- All of the horses in Groups D and E are out
- A2 and A3 might be the 2nd and 3rd fastest, but A4 and A5 are out
- B1 and B2 might be the 2nd and 3rd fastest, but B3,4,5 are out (since B1 can be 2nd at best, B3 can be 4th at best)
- C1 could be third at best - C2-5 are out.

So 2nd and 3rd place have 5 remaining horses:
A2, A3, B1,B2,C1

And they race to determine the places.

August 30, 2019, 05:01:25 PM
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Re: Jokes Master Thread A Rabbi, a priest, and a Minister are discussing their fundraising tactics.

The priest says - 'I try a hard-guilt approach: I generally talk for about 30 minutes about how G-d frowns on people that are fortunate that don't share with those in need, and at the end of the service, the plate is full'

The minister says -'I try a softer sell: I speak for about 35 minutes about how wonderfully blessed we are, and how our g-dly duty is to share g-ds blessing with others, and after the service is over, everyone is handing me a check."

The Rabbi says -'It's funny, I try a combination of those techniques. I get up at the pulpit at the beginning of the service and I tell the congregation they have 3 choices for today's sermon - I can give a 30 minute guilt-fest to get them to give money, I can talk for 35 minutes about how fortunate they are to make them realize that they should be more generous, or if they meet the fundraising goal before the sermon is scheduled to start, I won't speak at all. I've yet to give a speech".

September 05, 2019, 02:19:13 PM
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Re: Interesting Articles... https://medium.com/@yonahwolf/teaneck-parents-group-annoyed-with-trends-finds-creative-new-way-to-help-pay-for-tuition-and-a79e6d6a7242
September 06, 2019, 09:36:20 AM
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Re: Interesting Articles...
I feel like its against his kids for not being what he wamted them to be, but being blamed on the schools.

As the author or this piece (I literally wrote it 14 years ago), and only having small kids at the time, the intent was to poke fun at the FTP generation. The parents in the story are an amalgam of some of my parents' friends and relatives who sent their kids to Modern Orthodox Yeshivas, with the expectation that it fit in with their families more hashkafically and educational philosophy (i.e. we expect our child to go to 4 year college and/or grad school after graduating HS).

These particular parents, who grew up in a similar environment, had a hard time dealing with their kids moving to the right. Among my parents' friends, they referred to these kids as the FTP generation (Frumer than parents).

The site that published this shutdown recently, so I thought I'd resurrect it.

FWIW - I wrote a follow-up which I hope to put up shortly - (still searching for the final source) - where the same dad runs classes for parents who's kids are frumer than them to learn how to blend in in places where their kids have moved.

 

September 06, 2019, 10:42:50 AM
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Re: Where were you on September 11, 2001?
You can see the plane hit in one corner of the building, while there's another 3/4 or let's say 2/4 from where the plane hit, unless the explosion caused the entire floor to be blocked due to the smoke and fire which made it impossible to go down.

   Can one imagine such a מיתה?
 A מיתה משונה , one realizes that there's two planes which hit into the buildings and with such an explosion that leaves every one above it to become a karbon and realize his life is over and waiting for what to happen, the concept of a person to know there's 20 minutes left to his life.
   Hali'vay if us who are given 120 Years to live we realize that each and every minute is another gift from the one above and never shall be taken for granted!
  Aside for one with all his body parts and being fully functional!
    מי באש ומי במים...
And I'm sure it's no different like what Happened multiple times over the summer with a person drowning because of water, suffocating and try to catch ones breath to survive!

    May the nishomos be an Aliyah for all of us and beh this coming year be zoche to the final geula and not have to suffer any further!
   

If memory serves, there was a widely published story about a frum man (I believe his name was biegelisen, but not sure) who was above the fire line, and called his family - knowing he wouldn't survive. He had an opportunity to talk with his wife and children before the phone went dead.

Worse than that, to me, are the dozens of people who knew they were in that matzav, who literally chose to jump to their deaths so that their bodies would be found, rather than burned to a crisp.


September 11, 2019, 12:51:56 PM
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Re: Where were you on September 11, 2001?
I still dont have coverage. BH no medical bills. But therapy is expensive. And the therapy they offered was garbage. Have probably spent tens of thousands on therapy since then. My other story didnt happen in a vacuum.

Thank you for your service to our community, and sorry you're going through this without the proper support.

September 11, 2019, 01:39:51 PM
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Re: The Funny/Strange/Interesting/Random Vanity License Plate Pictures Thread Unfortunately no pictures - It's kind of hard to snap a picture when you are driving, but some I've stumbled across over the years:

- ISUE4U

- NO4NOIL on a Tesla

- I know of one family that had plates that read (albeit license plate compliant) Shabbos, Chosid and Moshiach

- Sometimes it's comical how we read license plates - because their 6-8 characters and no punctuation, you can get several meanings. For example, I once had a colleague who's plate read WEEVIL8. I asked him why his plate said - We Evil 8 - was he part of some super-villain group? He laughed, he said it was supposed to be "Weevilate" - having something to do with a nickname of his beeing Weevil.

My favorite story - I once came to a 4 stop sign with one other car. I was about to go, and then saw his license plate, and decided to allow him to go first. I wanted to tell people that I was waiting for him - his license read GODOT.


September 13, 2019, 12:47:18 PM
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Re: Jokes Master Thread I have a friend, he's half a Yecki, half a Chosid. He's always EXACTLY one hour late.
September 13, 2019, 04:44:41 PM
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Re: 2019 Israeli election
So no majority means yet another election? WOW could you imagine if we had that here? We would run out of Kool-Aid.  :)

Not quite - essentially the President of the country will recommend to one of the two candidates to form a government - for a bunch of reasons, it's likely that he will turn to Bibi to do that - so he has a few weeks to broker a deal.

Can you explain in terms of our left, right and center? Who is who?

That's definitely complicated, but on a very simplistic level (I'm sure many will argue with these points):

The Right:
Likud - Bibi's party, the 'standard' right-wing party. Politically conservative, and religiously neutral/right leaning.
Shas - Sefardic Religious party - politically right, religiously right. Primary leadership and constituents are jews from Africa/France/Middle East Descent
UTJ (United Torah Judaism) - politically right, religiously right. Primary leadership and constituents are jews from Central/Northern European and American Descent
Yemina - a smaller politically right and religiously right-leaning party who's leaders (Shaked and Bennett) broke away from Likud

The "Center":
Blue and White - led by Gantz. This is a coalition of 3 parties, including the centrist Yesh Atid

Jewish Home - Lieberman's party - they are politically conservative, but somewhat anti-religious (for example, they are in favor of ending the draft exemptions for Charedim, but toe a hard line on the Palestinians, Iran, etc.) They are the outlier, because he politically disagrees with the left, and religiously with the right.

The Left (All politically left, and most are (at least) left-leaning when it comes to religion)
Joint Arab List - This is 4 smaller parties that generally represent that arab population and have Israeli Arab members of knesset. (Israeli Arab = Muslim or Christian Arabs that live within the 1967 borders and have full citizenship).
Labor - The party of Shimon Peres and Yitzchak Rabin, that's fallen off of the map. The old guard Israeli Left
Democratic Camp  - A coalition of parties that are the old-school Israeli "Extreme Left" - including Meretz.






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September 19, 2019, 10:59:06 AM
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