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Re: Uber Pool Flat Fares in NYC for $2.99, or Uber X for $5.99 Interesting how they're targeting different people with different options even within one area. I was offered the option to pay $10 upfront, for $5 off 20 rides for the next month
May 04, 2017, 04:17:18 PM
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Re: Will pay someone to write 2 essays for me in 24 hours Touro has caused the shidduch crisis; before the stupidity wrought by this place, most people had no problem meeting in Brooklyn College.
January 03, 2018, 06:30:10 PM
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Re: Do you Daven?
However, I understand that we are both sacrificing (time and money, etc.) so much to belong to a Jewish community. So this confuses me. If he told me he's done with this 'fake frumness' and wants us to move to a non-jewish community- I might even be ok with it.

The starting point is that men that dont go to minyan, dont view going to minyan as "fake frumness" at all. They just dont do it. There's also the fact that male education (unfortunately or not), does not put nearly as much an emphasis on it as female education.

January 10, 2018, 06:10:56 PM
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Re: Do you Daven?
I think there are a few categories of people.
There are those that truly don't believe, there are those that deep down believe but are not willing to push themselves, there are those that truly believe and try, but may slip up occasionally.
This is true for all mitzvos, including davening.
If you went through your entire life doing things by rote and not by having a meaningful relationship with God, then the second it gets rough (or you find that there are enough people like you) you will slack off. And maybe not show up/daven at all.
The difference between our father's generation and our generation was that in some sense, lines were drawn more clearly. To deviate would put you in a different group.

I think your three categories are a gross oversimplification. Ill also just emphasize that male higher education does not place much emphasis on davening in general.

There happens to be another issue that you are touching upon, that our education system in general doesnt emphasize "connection" which arguably is at the essence of Yadus. So you have the biggest masmidim in yeshiva, who often feel empty and have no connection to God

January 10, 2018, 06:21:16 PM
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Re: Do you Daven?
And adding my own cycnicism- isn't there some Big Brother keeping an eye out to see who shows up to shul or not?

I really dont think men and woman in their 20s view religion the same way. We definitely dont think about Big Brother. That would require Yiras Shemayim. Which we don't have. We are working on it. We hope to have a greater sense of the world around us as we gain responsibility. We may even gain yiras shemayim. When we get that, well make it to davening.

January 10, 2018, 08:42:09 PM
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Re: Do you Daven?
I think there is a fourth aspect, which is desperation. And that sometimes trumps all the points you mentioned.

Theres no atheists in the foxhole...but that's not exactly what your aiming for.

I think over time men will ultimately gravitate towards it because of the cognitive dissonance they have with adolescent raising. Take Shifra Meir...he's obviously going through some conflict now that he senses he is rubbing off on his kid. He also genuinely doesn't see classical tefilla as an approach for him (that resonates with many people). That conflict is going to resolve over time; if not with the first kid, then with the second. And then his daughter will be a Wayfe.

The thing is that often sons will attune if their dad is "culturally praying" on their behalf without the avodah. So those sons becomes Wayfe's Husbands. Sometimes, fathers will take the opportunity to actually work on their davening instead of doing it for their kids; and then they break the cycle.

January 10, 2018, 10:11:43 PM
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Re: Do you Daven?

4) General litvishe yeshivahs stress learning  a lot more than davening (and the importance and necessity it is for our everyday lives). While the older generation understands and would greatly inconvenience themselves to daven and make minyan, many from the younger generation (while understanding that it is the right thing) don't feel the same level of importance for it, as they would attach to learning or other things.

Its more than daveining. My generation is quickly going from American Jews to Jewish Americans. And I know thats the struggle every generation. But the balabatush community is devolving to being halachikly stringent modern orthodox, if we dont address "cultural Judaism"

January 10, 2018, 11:16:01 PM
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Re: Do you Daven? I think the thing the OP struggled with, and @mgarfin mentioned, is that in an attempt by the institution to delineate what it takes to be a part of the community, we've created a very outward focus on what it means to be 'frum'.  As a whole, religion for many people has become more about what it takes to be included/excluded as opposed to what it takes to be an oveid hashem. And I dont mean that they're malicious or fakers or trying to deceive anyone. That is literally how some millennials perceive what being religious means in the 21st century.

Our chinuch system is also very built on 'protecting the moised', as opposed to actually building people with connection to God, and there seems little interest in structurally changing in from their part.

January 11, 2018, 12:03:13 PM
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