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Re: Zman Magazine Chutzpah!!!!!!! gonna vote for obama?
fool me once... ;D

August 15, 2012, 09:34:03 PM
Re: Credit Card Wallet/Holder
So whats the verdict?
I think the verdict of this thread was points/miles is better better than cash back :D

October 28, 2012, 09:52:38 PM
Re: Avatars
Hope he doesn't have the same end.
think anyone here is going to rat him out?

March 20, 2013, 08:03:20 AM
Re: Avatars
Now you have a pic of my great (x alot) grandfather as your avatar  :)
Nice!  You're grandfather put my grandfather in cherem.   :)

March 20, 2013, 11:51:52 AM
Re: Jokes. Any type goes. Whats the difference between mashed potatoes, and pea soup? גבאי Goes over to someone to call him up for an עליה.  He asks him,"what is your name".  He answers "שרה בת ברכה״״". The גבאי says "no I need your name".
The man answers "I am having financial trouble and I am doing everything in my wife's name these days"

June 04, 2013, 06:48:38 PM
Re: REB SHAYALA KARESTEIRER I bought his matza. I figured the factory was definitely rat free😃
April 14, 2015, 06:55:15 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting pictures thread And now we have a kesher between the beginning and the end  of the thread😀
April 17, 2015, 04:48:27 PM
Re: Trick-It Master Thread I can't find it anywhere but there was once a post about fd where someone was answering what they are and his ingenious explanation was:
There are two types of planes
Those that travel on fuel and those that are powered by manure.
If you are really lucky you can get one that is powered by both
That is a fuel dump.

August 26, 2015, 09:41:45 PM
Re: The *OFFICIAL* UPS Thread The only thing that bothers me is that unlike other forums DDF has a reputation that you can trust the information (unlike other forums where some people feed misinformation to deliberately confuse people) and I would be very sad to see that change.
Other than that I am enjoying the laughs.

January 13, 2016, 03:33:19 PM
Re: d Someone is asking for PM's
March 11, 2016, 08:11:16 AM
GOP Purim shpiel I started working on a,purim shpiel for my shul which for whatever reason we are probably not putting on in the end.  I thought it was half descent so I am sharing it with my virtual friends here.  Feel free to comment or add lines.

P.s. We really are looking for a new youth director (it's a position for a yungerman who wants to do Kiruv with children) so if you know someone please pm me.

moderator:  As you are all surely aware we are actively looking for a new youth Rabbi here at Our shul.  The good news is that we have interviewed many candidaates and met many promising young rabbis.  We have managed to narrow down our list to just four candidates and we are proud to present them to you tonight. 

We figured the best way to hire someone that everyone will be pleased with is to have them all stand together on stage and allow you to meet them.  Each candidate will be asked questions and given 2 minutes to answer the questions.  If per chance one of the candidates mentions another candidate in his answer then the one whose name was mentioned will be given 30 seconds to issue a rebuttal.    We encourage audience participation but would like to maintain a certain level of decorum.  Let's try to have the audience louder than they are during the rabbi's sermon but quieter than the typical volume during the Torah reading and the chazzan's repetition.

Each candidate will be given 30 seconds to make an opening statement.

#1  We are living in unbeleivable times.  This coming generation can be greater than any previous generation in Etz Chaim's history.  We are poised for success and as you're new youth rabbi I will make that happen. I will teach the children to have a love for Israel and I will make sure they know that the true capital of Israel is Jerusalem.  Sometimes people think that Israelis are a bit rude but we all realize that they are our only true friends and I will do all I can to show them how much we value that friendship.  People ask me do you really care about the youth?  My own children are youth.  If I would do anything to hurt the youth it would affect them so of course i care about the youth.

#2  I am the perfect candidate for this job.  I worked with ncsy national and I helped create top notch programs with a perfect balance working within my budget.  Later I moved to a small community and replecated that success.  I am prepared to move the next big stage - your community and do this all on a lager scale.  And let me tell you I know what I am doing so I won't need 100 days to figure things out.  i will hit the ground running.  If you are going to choose someone to be in charge of the youth shouldn't it be an adult?

#3 I will make Etz Chaim's youth program great again!  Beleive me there is no one standing on this stage who is better qualified than me to lead the youth department.  I have had much success in business which puts me in a very unique position.  When it works to my adavantage I can claim that my business knowledge will help me run the youth here at Etz Chaim.  When it appears to be a disadvantage I will just explain that I acted that way because I was a business man but believe me I will act differently as the head of the youth.

#4  My family was not originally part of the Jewish Religion.  My father travelled to meet up with the Jews.  All he had with him was $100 in his underwear and he had to get a job washing dishes.  This was especially challenging because he needed to learn to not mix the met and milk dishes!  I am not someone who only recently decided to present himself as interested in the youth.  You can check my voting record.  I have always cared about the youth and represented those values.  I urge you when you consider who you would like for this position think of someone who consistently represented youth values.

Moderator:  This is a question for number one.  There has been talk recently about your  verbal attacks on candidate number three.  Do you think it is possible to have a civil discussion with him?
#1 YES!
#3 Liar!
#1 wuold you let me talk?
#3 no you are a loser and no one likes you.
#1 there you go with the attacks again.  Tell me do you have any plans with any substance or is attacking al you can do?
#3 you want substance?  I plan on making a new mechitza in the shul and it will prevent any women from having anything to do with the men's section.  And I will tell you something else!  The women will pay to have it built.
#1 what are you talking about?
#3 Pipe down little guy!
#1 Why would the women pay for a mechitza that makes it harder for them to see what is going on during davening?
#3 Believe me they will do as I tell them.  They will pay to build that mechitza and it will be great!

#4 Can I add something?  You claim now to be representing ultra orthodox lakewood values but you didn't always.  You gave money ten times to the Reform movement.  You can't have it both ways.  You cannot give money to the reform movement and claim to support black hat values.  I believe that the Torah was given at Har Sinai and we cannot make any changes to it.  The Torah today is meant to be interpreted exactly as it was given.  If you want someone who will do that and hire ncsy advisiors who support those same values the choice is clear.  You need to choose me.

#2  I never get a chance to speak much but I would like to mention if this is important to you I was there when the Torah was given.  I was there at Mount Sinai And I helped Hashem teach the Torah and then when I moved I replicated that on a smaller level.  I have done all of this already and I will do it again for your youth.

March 19, 2016, 10:00:21 PM
Re: Oorah radiothon Anyone listening?
June 05, 2016, 01:21:14 AM
Re: BOGO Samsung Wireless Charging pad + FS
How? It's from
There you go defending them just like ex gingi

September 07, 2016, 01:25:51 PM
Re: Jewish Music (New CDs, hock, and opinions) I have an Idea for an album I'd like to hear:
I want simcha Leiner to make an album singing all the songs that go so high that it's impossible for mere mortals to sing them.  It would be frustrating to not be able to sing along but I think it would be quite pleasurable to listen to.
My suggestions so far
רצה from Dedi
משך חסדך from avraham fried
What else should be on this list?
Maybe מנוחה ושמחה from Miami?

January 19, 2017, 02:17:54 PM
Re: Keeping Up With The Kushners
How ironic!
We're sitting here debating whether he kept Shabbos or not and they are writing about the consequences of the fact that he did.
Well at least he didn't answer the phone over Shabbos.

January 26, 2017, 12:12:58 PM
Re: Chase purchase protection
They want me to get a written estimate to fix a $24 MP3 player.  Seems a bit crazy!  Anyone have good experiences with them?
to update:
My son went into a cell phone repair shop and showed him the mp3 player.  As expected the owner said I don't fix this.  My son said I know but could you please give me a written estimate.  The man did and my claim was fulfilled! :D

June 08, 2017, 12:22:30 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread Best yeshivish sukkos joke I heard
A guy is trying to get in a taxi with his ד׳ מינים.
The taxi driver won't let him in and tells him he needs to take the bus. He says what are you talking about why can't I come in your taxi?

Taxi driver answers"לולב צריך אגד"

October 04, 2017, 07:57:19 AM
Google Home I just got the Google Home Mini.  Is there a way to get it to ignore requests from my kids.  I thought if it learns my voice it wouldn't listen to them but it does >:(
I'm sure over time they will lose their interest a bit but right now they are all standing in my kitchen screaming "Hey Google"

November 03, 2017, 04:26:42 PM
Re: Deal Request - Treadmill I have no experience other than on my own but i bought this one 2years ago and I'm pretty happy with it.
I could see that having a longer and maybe wider walking area would be nice but it does the job that I need it to do.
It's a good price, good reviews but no bells and whistles at all.

November 28, 2017, 09:16:16 PM
Re: SodaStream Jet Sparkling Water Maker-$36.73 Maybe...
I got 4 tanks already.  I don't need a new one.

November 19, 2018, 02:35:51 PM
Re: AT&T Amex offers for sale Also selling one for $90
November 25, 2018, 08:10:25 PM
Re: Please Help Keep Hebrew A Supported Language On Kindle Direct Publishing They don't support Abu-zar's language either.
December 26, 2018, 11:27:00 AM