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Re: Best one-liners
Only floss the teeth you want to keep.

Ignore your teeth long enough and they'll go away

May 15, 2016, 09:27:48 AM
DDF Weight Loss Challenge I don't know what you mean by "real fat", but fat is an essential (they're called essential fatty acids for a reason) and necessary part of a healthy diet. Also, without the additional calories from fat, you're likely not eating enough.

You need to understand that you don't lose weight by depriving your body of food or forcing yourself to exercise to a caloric deficit. You can't punish your body into losing weight. You lose weight by eating nutritionally beneficial foods, working with your body to help it heal and shed all the taxing, unnecessary pounds.

Maybe try adding some healthy carbs (sweet potatoes, pumpkin, butternut squash, fruits) and healthy fats (1-2 tbsp of oil, or 1/2 to 1 avocado per meal) for a week. Then you can cut back on the carbs, keeping the fats. Hopefully that'll help you overcome the plateau.

September 04, 2016, 07:38:35 PM
Re: DDF Weight Loss Challenge
September 12, 2016, 05:48:01 PM
Re: Abortion = Murder? @JTZ,

I've often read your posts and I respect you a lot, but i've have thought that many of your post indicate that you seem to misunderstand something basic about Judaism.

While Judaism contains many elegant and neat truths, and is taught and studied and expounded upon by intellectual greats who use logic to decipher it's codes and come up with new laws and rulings- ultimately, it is NOT a logical or rational religion.

At first, however, in our search for Truth we are bound to logic and our limited capacity to understand truth.
When Abraham looked around the world, it was with logical conclusion that realized that there must be G-d in the world, and that it wasn't those idols his fellows worshipped.
So, acknowledging a Higher Power, and evaluatinge a religion is still within the realm of logic. And every ounce and every capacity for our human brains to evaluate and arrive at the truth, must be used. But anything after that point, logic is futile. G-d and his Torah are not bound to the limits of logic, because they are greater than logic. Suprarational, not subrational. It would seem ridiculous to try to understand G-d or his Torah through the lens of logic.

We do NOT do acts of charity out of kindness because it is the 'good' thing to do.
We act charitably with kindness because G-d commanded us to.

We are forbidden to murder, NOT because rationally it seems inhumane, unfair, evil or immoral.
We don't murder because we were forbidden to do so by a Higher Authority that we sumbit completely to, G-d. Period.

In a case such as Amalek, we can try to understand it as best as we can, with many beautiful midrashim and explanations... But ultimately, it's another commandment, and we quiet the resistance of our human minds, and accept that this is what G-d wants.
And it doesn't matter whether it makes sense or not. And it doesn't matter if it makes us look evil in the eyes of others.

(A. And how do we know this is what G-d wants? Different Discussion. B. And why can't other violent religions use the same ideas to explain their violence? While we are commanded to love and respect and tolerate all human beings, it doesn't mean that we need to agree with them, or accept their religion as truth. A deeper investigation will show falacies in the original thinking that led them to their belief. But that brings us back to A)

I am an openly unapologetic American, Jewish woman from Brooklyn.
I don't apologize for my religion even when it seems at odds with the rest of 'modern' thought.

So, under Jewish Law, even though a fetus isn't considered fully a human, if it is not Amalek and it is not posing a threat to its mother, and it seems to be healthy with normal potential for life- (of course, each case must be analyzed by Drs and competent halachic authority) then it is forbidden to kill it via abortion.

Inopportune time or unwanted pregnancies are not (usually) considered a threat to the mother's health- and therefor are forbidden.

At all times, the question is NOT, "Is the right or humane thing to do?" rather, it is "In this case, what has G-d commanded"

ETA: This doesn't mean that religious people can shut off our minds and disregard logic. We always use logic to explore any topic to the limits of our minds, but ultimately we understand that logic is not the be and end all. There's more.

January 27, 2017, 08:44:46 AM
Re: Best Unlocked Android Phone Up To $400?
I ended up getting the Mate 9. Hope it works out.

I think you'll be happy.

Huawei is really coming up... I chose them because I was feeling like Apple and Samsung were getting complacent and weren't truly innovative anymore. I think Huawei was the first one to start working on depth of field simulation for phones. Not sure how the camera compares to Samsung/iPhone 8 - but it outdoes previous models from those makers.

It's a great phone and excellent camera. Here's some of my snapshots with this phone (most are SOOC), and you can click on the link to see them in full resolution and details.

IMG_20170612_194011 on Flickr

IMG_20171009_164020 on Flickr

IMG_20170827_190952 on Flickr

IMG_20170815_165236 on Flickr

IMG_20170730_165534 on Flickr

IMG_20170730_165530 on Flickr

IMG_20170714_171900 on Flickr

IMG_20170704_202646_1 on Flickr

November 26, 2017, 01:26:53 PM
Macy's $10 off $25 & Free Shipping (no min.) Use code SHOP25 to get $10 off $25 purchase.

Today only free shipping- no minimum.

December 15, 2017, 11:40:35 AM
Re: Do you Daven?
If we define fake frumness as acting frum but not having any relationship with gd (ie not davening to him etc), then I hear what you are saying. Otherwise this needs work....

Better question, why does it bother YOU that he doesn't daven? Just cultural, or you are disturbed by the lack of commitment? Do you daven?

Yes, you got my definition of pseudofrum.

It bothers me for a few reasons:
1. As mentioned we are buying into the exorbitantly expensive frum lifestyle
2. We (personally) have a lot of daven for (not just in a general world peace kind of way....)
3. Like @iAm mentioned, my daughter is nearly 3 and I want her father davening to be a part of life.
4. It makes me not respect him, because I see him as teenager slacking off, not taking his responsibility to his family, to his parenting role seriously
5. I daven on occasion- but then it's not my mitzvah.

January 10, 2018, 06:30:05 PM
Re: Do you Daven?
I'm sorry but this topic is not and shouldn't be wife's problem.
Your husbands Yiddeshkeit is not your business as long it don't effect the kids or the way you wanna raise ur family.

Yes, this was the way I tried to think about it until I realized that I don't respect him because of it... Which causes a whole host of other problems.

And we are raising a family.

January 10, 2018, 06:51:43 PM
Re: Do you Daven?
Have you ever actually discussed it with him? What was the purpose of the discussion with this mentor?
Does he realize this contradiction? Has he addressed it and how?
Does he know that you are bothered for these two reasons? Does he realize that it is making you not respect him? Is your feeling that he is slacking off only due to the responsibility to the family or due to davening itself?
Could it be that the personal issues are partially the cause of his, in your words, slacking off? Maybe he is feeling a level of yi'ush.
If you have a lot to daven for why don't you daven more than occasionally? While women do not have the obligation to daven the specific nusach in the siddur they do most definitely have an obligation to daven since they too need hashem's protection. It is possible that if he sees a greater commitment on your part that he will be more committed as well.

Thanks, for your thoughts. I'm not going to answer because I'd rather not share all these details about my personal life on a forum.

And about your last point, you are right, I will make an effort to daven more often.

January 10, 2018, 07:39:51 PM
Re: Do you Daven?
R’ Shais Taub has covered this on more than 1 occasion. He was very clear that the woman should not be his mashgiach. (Unfortunately I didn’t save that issue)

What does 'being his mashgiach's entail?

If a husband has an issue with his wife's sheitel, looks, weight, job, etc. He can ask/expect her to change, but a wife can't?

January 10, 2018, 07:59:34 PM
Re: Do you Daven?
I don't want to go super cynical here, but religion ultimately plays a socio-cultural role in the primordial mans world. We pay for our Jewish lifestyle with time, money, limits etc. because it is the price to pay for belonging to the community and fulfilling that need. Everything then becomes a question of what is the cost, and whats considered belonging.

Although what Im saying above is obviously heretical, as human beings, this is how we function. While a religious person should strive for betterment, and hopefully as they gain responsibility, males will recognize their desire to prey/learn/do mitzvos independently of the Marxian idiom above, I totally do not understand what you are asking in terms of "sacrificing so much." We dont consider it sacrifice...if there were no structures to delineate the community, we wouldnt have a community to be a part of.

I totally understand the social pressures that underpin a society. I'm just surprised that davening 3x a day isn't right there among them.

Take off your black hat and you're no longer Jewish, but skip davening (and tefillin) and you're a still a Sheineh Yid?

January 10, 2018, 08:03:10 PM
Re: Do you Daven?
@yitrap according to the poll were holding at 28% of people either mostly davening without a minyan or not davening at all.

The results are also getting confounded by the fact that people are responding who dont fit the demographic of the OP - 20/30 year olds with younger kids. The most part is also getting confounded by recall bias.

But even without that point, 25% is really high for an issue that has not crossed the mind of the dozens of wives of my friends in that demographic - and we literally sat as a bunch of couple on shabbos discussing this.

The sample size is still way too small to make any assumptions

January 10, 2018, 09:27:19 PM
Re: Do you Daven?
That doesn’t make him right

This entire thread has very little to do with being right or wrong.

What it does for me is show me that if I can respect @shiframeir as good person, then I should be able to do so for my own husband.

January 10, 2018, 10:01:13 PM
Re: How do U define yourself, what does it mean & how would you like to see your kid
Thank you for your post. Do you have a more granular definition of Chassidish? Any specific sect?

And PLEASE don't leave out the important question: what does your own label mean for you? Is it about dress code, Minhagim, participating in certain activities, schooling, etc?

I don't belong to any specific sect because I don't really I identify with my father's sect and my husband isn't really connected to his sect.

As a teenager I found Chabad philosophy online and it really spoke to me. I don't consider myself Chabad, because I don't belong or participate in the Chabad community events.

My definition of Chassidish means ascribing to the philosophy set forth by the Ba'al Shem Tov and (ideally) finding a Rebbe to guide you.

My label defines my philosophy and gives direction to achieving my goal/mission in life.

January 11, 2018, 06:28:06 PM
Re: Grammar and Spelling Lessons 101
True - a better sentence would be "I order so much stuff from Amazon, that they send me many packages every day."

No comma.

Commas are used after coordinating (FANBOYS) conjunctions.

January 18, 2018, 07:54:35 PM
Re: Dating in the jewish world while disabled
I find it hard to say find an over weight woman attractive

You do realize that you are guilty of perpetuating the very system you lament?

February 12, 2018, 10:42:41 PM
Re: What is your favorite Haggadah? I love the Haggadah with Gadi Pollacks illustrations. The artwork is beautiful.

Not sure how much commentary there is...

ETA: this is the one:

March 28, 2018, 02:48:48 PM
Re: American kicks Jewish family off flights because of 'body odor'
Where's the cup of salt to take along with this story?

I'd be just as interested in finding an alternate explanation, because this makes me extremely uncomfortable.

There has undeniably been an increase in anti-Semitic incidents in the news.

January 24, 2019, 12:49:07 PM
Re: American kicks Jewish family off flights because of 'body odor'
So they are being asked to go off the plane and didn't inquire why they are asked off until they were actually off the plane?  ::) ::) ::)

Honestly, I would probably have done the same. I'm not a seasoned traveler and if a flight crew member demanded that I leave the plane I would probably have been confused, overwhelmed, feebly protesting but compliant. It would take some time for the outrage to set it.

January 24, 2019, 01:30:53 PM
Thoughts on abortion, religion, and morality I've been thinking a lot about abortion and what's going in the news lately.

I'm a frum woman, mother of 2, and being pro-life seemed almost instinctual to me. But beyond my personal beliefs, debating the legality or illegality of abortion requires understanding the (euphemistically named) pro-choice position.

So the defense agains the common pro-abortion arguments are as follows:

1. "My body, my choice": This argument (which often gets intertwined with the viability argument) imagines that since the fetus is inside the mother's womb and cannot survive on its own, it's considered part of the mother. This would be the equivalent of assuming that a car parked inside a garage is part of the house. Or that a cake baking in the oven is part of the oven. The viability argument isn't too sure-footed either. A 3-month-old baby would also die if they were left alone. A toddler would also die if no one would feed them. Some adult husbands would die if they weren't fed ;) . The fact that someone requires care doesn't mean that they don't have the right to exist.

2. "A fetus isn't a baby": Well, that's right, a fetus isn't a baby. Just the same way a baby isn't a child and a child isn't a teenager and a teenager isn't an adult. They're all at different developmental stages. But ultimately, they are all human. It's a human fetus. In fact, if you can handle it- take a look at these first trimester images and tell me that this isn't a human.

3. The rape/incest case: As horrible and as tragic as these cases are, getting an abortion doesn't take away the rape. Furthermore, the unborn child isn't guilty of the crimes of his father. How can we justify taking someone's innocent life for a crime he didn't commit?

For the offensive play, pro-lifers point out the brutality of abortion.
Many people don't even know that most surgical abortions involve at the very least the dismemberment of the fetus. While rare, late term saline abortions have the baby undergo chemical burns from the inside out. If you have the stomach for it, you can google other late term abortion horrors.
You can learn about the actual details of an abortion procedure here, it's not the same as having a cancerous, clump of tissue removed.

There is evidence that suggest that the fetus can feel pain from 16weeks and on:
we cannot deny that the fetal nervous system mounts protective responses to tissue injury. A physiological fetal reaction to painful stimuli occurs from between 16 and 24 weeks’ gestation on.

On the scientific front things seem clear. A fetus is it's own human being, with it's own distinct set of DNA.

But things get murkier- what do we say to those babies being born into poverty, into immature and even neglectful families, those born with conditions that will make their life a struggle? What about those babies who are simply unwanted? Are they better off dead?

What if in the future we will have guaranteed pain-free abortions? What if scientists could find incontrovertible truth that babies are not conscious prior to birth? Would that change things?

Pro-life proponents would still argue "no". And that brings us to the heart of the matter: the sanctity of life. And this is the underlying answer to all of the pro-life arguments. This is why it doesn't matter what Life is, or when exactly it starts. Life is precious. Life is the most. precious. thing. Even the life of an unwanted, inconvenient baby. Even the life of a rapist's child. Even the life of a baby with Down Syndrome. Even the life of a baby who will grow up to live a poor, hard, obstacle-ridden, mostly miserable life.

At least that's how I see it.

But this is no longer a cold-hard, logical, scientific truth. The sanctity of life is a uniquely religious idea. Because we are made in the image of G-d, that is why human life is precious. If we remove G-d from the picture- is life precious from an evolutionary standpoint? Is the 80-90 year lifespan of one (statistically prone to be) unremarkable human important among the millions of years, millions of species that precede and succeed it? Not much. Should this clump of molecules, this group of atoms matter more than this amoeba, that bacteria, this asteroid shooting, hurtling around in galaxy? And if this particular life will be difficult and often unhappy, then maybe it's even a kindness to kill it.

So for me, ultimately it's an issue of morality. And morality is inherently a religious constructs. Again, if nature is king and evolution dictates the progression of the world- why does social justice matter? In fact, in today's parlance, evolution is 'racist'! According to natural selection, it's only inevitable that 'the fittest' end up on top. That the smartest and strongest dominate and exploit the weaker isn't evil or unjust- it's only the way nature is designed!

So now, does immoral = illegal?
Should it?

As a frum jew, from a Torah perspective, something is illegal precisely because it is immoral. But is that something we should pursue in a secular government? What about separation of church and state?
I remember frum Jews posting somewhat celebratory messages when gay marriage was legalized in 2015. The government shouldn't dictate the terms of morality, they wrote.

But where is the line drawn? And what kind of arguments can be made when God is removed from the picture?

If you've made it this far- thanks! I'd love to hear your thoughts.

May 16, 2019, 02:44:22 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home.
I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

June 11, 2019, 08:20:29 AM
Re: Jokes Master Thread Along that vein...

June 14, 2019, 11:46:42 AM