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Re: 2016 Election Pick Your Poison Master Thread @JTZ - I apologize for the wall of text, but I feel this is important context to provide for the discussion.

Most of us on this forum are visibly Jewish. If we don't have beards and hats, we have kippas and tzitzis, etc. I would be surprised if the number of people here who have had an anti-Semitic experience is less than 100%. The stats show that Jews are on the receiving end of more hate crimes than any other group.

I've gotten middle fingers in Johannesburg, been spat on in Durban, and often walk over a swastika etched into the sidewalk near my in law's home in one of the Mid-Western United States. When I was in Yeshiva in Paris for a year, friends of mine where beaten up (This was almost 15 years ago - now it is MUCH worse).

I was spat on in an airport when I was 13. At least a dozen people saw it. The spitter was more than double my age. No one did or said a thing.
Those fist fights in Paris? Some were on full trains. Again, no one did or said a thing.

I have never reported a hate crime. No one I know ever has - and I know people who have experienced far more violent things then I have.

I live in Brooklyn, a truly liberal and hip city (Hilary Clinton's headquarters). Swastikas and anti-Semitic graffiti are common occurrences - in alley ways, on subway platforms, and more.  When a group of thugs threw rocks at a school bus filled with little Jewish kids it didn't even make local news. A Chassidic guy was left unconscious under a car one night after a spate of anti-Semitic events - it only made the news when a few hundred of us marched to the precinct the next day.

You know what made news? When a swastika was painted the day after Trump won.

Weird, huh?

That Muslims and Neo-Nazis beat us is to be expected. But, in a sense, you know what is worse? Leftist, liberal self-righteous hypocrites who find it ok to mock, ridicule and antagonize "Ultra-Orthodox Right Wing Fundamentalist" Jews - while throwing fits of rage at every perceived micro-aggression against any other minority or race.

For example:

Gentrification is a big deal. Neither I nor any of my friends can afford to buy a home in our neighborhood. Renting an apt is nigh impossible. But whenever you read or hear about gentrification in Crown Heights, you will find out about Chassidic Landlords (Slumlords) who are mistreating and pushing out the Black community.  Of course lower and middle class blacks are being pushed out. So are the Jews! But it is ok for the media to paint the Chassidic community with the broad anti-Semitic brush of being hook nosed landlords cheating the poor blacks out of their money and homes. In actuality, it is market forces being driven by young artisanal, hipster farm-to-table vegans which are responsible.

This anti-Semitic attitude directly contributes to the violent antisemitism I sampled above, just as Al Sharpton’s “diamond merchant” rhetoric led to riots and murder.

This is just one tiny example that I deal with in NYC, one of the largest concentrations of visible Jews on the planet, in the shining pride of Western civilization. In other places, it is far, far worse. (Look at Jeremy Corbyn in the UK for a start, and we can go from there.)

So that's why we don't care about hate crime stats. We know firsthand that they don't even begin to tell the story. That's why we are so skeptical of leftists and the media speaking of hate crimes - we have a long history of them not only ignoring hate crimes committed against us, but agitating and prodding those who do us actual harm.

December 07, 2016, 12:06:46 PM
Re: Abortion = Murder? @JTZ,

I've often read your posts and I respect you a lot, but i've have thought that many of your post indicate that you seem to misunderstand something basic about Judaism.

While Judaism contains many elegant and neat truths, and is taught and studied and expounded upon by intellectual greats who use logic to decipher it's codes and come up with new laws and rulings- ultimately, it is NOT a logical or rational religion.

At first, however, in our search for Truth we are bound to logic and our limited capacity to understand truth.
When Abraham looked around the world, it was with logical conclusion that realized that there must be G-d in the world, and that it wasn't those idols his fellows worshipped.
So, acknowledging a Higher Power, and evaluatinge a religion is still within the realm of logic. And every ounce and every capacity for our human brains to evaluate and arrive at the truth, must be used. But anything after that point, logic is futile. G-d and his Torah are not bound to the limits of logic, because they are greater than logic. Suprarational, not subrational. It would seem ridiculous to try to understand G-d or his Torah through the lens of logic.

We do NOT do acts of charity out of kindness because it is the 'good' thing to do.
We act charitably with kindness because G-d commanded us to.

We are forbidden to murder, NOT because rationally it seems inhumane, unfair, evil or immoral.
We don't murder because we were forbidden to do so by a Higher Authority that we sumbit completely to, G-d. Period.

In a case such as Amalek, we can try to understand it as best as we can, with many beautiful midrashim and explanations... But ultimately, it's another commandment, and we quiet the resistance of our human minds, and accept that this is what G-d wants.
And it doesn't matter whether it makes sense or not. And it doesn't matter if it makes us look evil in the eyes of others.

(A. And how do we know this is what G-d wants? Different Discussion. B. And why can't other violent religions use the same ideas to explain their violence? While we are commanded to love and respect and tolerate all human beings, it doesn't mean that we need to agree with them, or accept their religion as truth. A deeper investigation will show falacies in the original thinking that led them to their belief. But that brings us back to A)

I am an openly unapologetic American, Jewish woman from Brooklyn.
I don't apologize for my religion even when it seems at odds with the rest of 'modern' thought.

So, under Jewish Law, even though a fetus isn't considered fully a human, if it is not Amalek and it is not posing a threat to its mother, and it seems to be healthy with normal potential for life- (of course, each case must be analyzed by Drs and competent halachic authority) then it is forbidden to kill it via abortion.

Inopportune time or unwanted pregnancies are not (usually) considered a threat to the mother's health- and therefor are forbidden.

At all times, the question is NOT, "Is the right or humane thing to do?" rather, it is "In this case, what has G-d commanded"

ETA: This doesn't mean that religious people can shut off our minds and disregard logic. We always use logic to explore any topic to the limits of our minds, but ultimately we understand that logic is not the be and end all. There's more.

January 27, 2017, 08:44:46 AM
Re: I've Been On DD/DDF So Long That I Remember... When Dan used to answer PMs
March 15, 2017, 04:19:00 PM
Re: Best one-liners We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.
May 10, 2017, 01:15:41 PM
Re: Famous Sayings
Don't believe everything you read on the internet. -Abraham Lincoln.

May 18, 2017, 03:49:42 PM
Re: The New DDMS! Now I can't fall asleep. Watching for bugs. [ yes, this is a blatant placeholder for likes]. Let's break a record for the most liked post :-)
July 04, 2017, 11:27:17 AM
Re: Prison
I think to deal with the possibility of it happening and the letdown every time he thought it would or could happen, and didnt, would have been such a drain on his psyche that he probably blocked those thoughts over time. (i.e. every time an appeal was filed and a decision was pending by any of the appellate courts or at the end of Obama's term) Even if he knew he wouldnt give the possibility any real credence until it actually happened.

Dont know if this statement is coherent...sorry. I'm still stunned. Even with all that I said about his case here I am still unbelievably happy. I think my days of posting here are done after this. What can I say compared to what he has to offer. I had it good.

His Bitachon is amazing. No article that I read over the last 8 years that described him showed me anything  of the man I saw last night. I'm just blown away. I cried. If a man can speak the way he did last night after an ordeal like his I dont care what he did. He deserves all the respect.
Even if SMR himself would start posting here, we all appreciate your unique perspective on what happened to you.

December 21, 2017, 08:57:25 AM
Re: How many non-Jewish people use this forum?
Do you guys find the jewish-centric stuff annoying?

The topic is How Many Non-Jewish People Use This Forum.  But then you ask if people find the Jewish-Centric stuff annoying.

It's pretty obvious to the most casual of observer that this is a Jewish-Centric site on the whole.  As a non-Jew, I understand that and it is what it is.  I definitely don't find it annoying because again, it is what it is and if it was annoying i'd just never come back.

In my opinion, I would say it is more about irrelevance.  What airlines have the best kosher food, what airlines will reheat my kosher meals, where to find the best Chabad in Zimbabwe, what hotels in the Democratic Republic of Congo have regular keys for Shabbos.  That stuff is irrelevant to me, so it makes the trip reports and such less helpful/useful.

But definitely not annoying.  That would be petty on my or anyone elses part.

February 05, 2018, 02:50:51 PM
Re: How many non-Jewish people use this forum? Some people don't just have issues, they have a year's subscription!
February 05, 2018, 05:34:49 PM
Re: Minneapolis, Minnesota
I can't find your TR. I didn't see it in the master thread or on the map.
I shall dock @Something Fishy's pay ;D

April 25, 2018, 02:05:24 PM
Re: Minneapolis, Minnesota
I can't find your TR. I didn't see it in the master thread or on the map.

Dan's TRs are not yet up to date on either the wiki or the map.

I shall dock @Something Fishy's pay ;D

GoFundMe being announced shortly.

April 25, 2018, 03:35:49 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting video thread...
May 03, 2018, 12:17:26 PM
PSA to all Tapatalk Users Please disable the signature option that it seemed to turn on for all users.
Here's how:
go to the UI settings  go to settingsscroll down to signature select off

June 15, 2018, 07:58:46 PM
Re: PSA to all Tapatalk Users I approve this message.
June 15, 2018, 08:30:02 PM
Re: credit score
I'm asking how to boost while keeping the balances high also when paying will the credit score go up immediately and then I'll get approved for all credit cards?
You have a lot to learn. I suggest researching this up thread and elsewhere online.
You can't magically fix your FICO without paying off you balances if that's what's effecting it.
To keep it at the best you can WITH high balances here's a few things to keep in mind.

A. Try to pay some off before the statement closes so the balance reported will be lower.

B. FICO works with accomplishments, so look out for key numbers. Utilization of 54% is virtually the same as 55% while from 49% to 50% is a world apart.
Try to keep your utilization below these numbers, each number is a step 100%, 99%, (95%,) 90%, 75%, 50%, 30%,10%, and from there down.
There are 2 ways your utilization is looked at, it's looked at overall, and at specific cards as well, so try to keep it overall below those numbers, as well as each card specifically. Another key point is how many cards have balances, try to keep that lower as well.

C. Increasing the positives on the other points of your credit can hide the not so beautiful parts.
~never miss a payment.
~keep a fair amount of cards open.
~it's nice to have a mix of type of credit.
~don't try opening lots of new cards.

D. You're credit will increase as soon as your updated account is reported (assuming you improved something). Each bank will report at a different time, but as soon as its reported those changes are there.

E. If you do pay of all your balances, depending what your credit/balance is like you can see a major immediate improvement which definitely can help those approvals come easier. But again it depends what else is on your report.

June 25, 2018, 12:39:20 AM
JJ1000's 10,000 Post Featuring: A day in the life of Dan, Giveaway, & More It's hard to imagine I joined DDF over 10 years ago, of course this was after I made the first comment on DDMS 14 years ago and joining ctown forums after that.

I really can't begin to count the memories I have here on DDF, one that comes ot mind is the first major DO where @Dan @AsherO @BrooklynCPA @Mikeoracle @Smirk @MOSES @whYME @yare @Avid Reader @Chachem Balaileh @mancunian @yid @SuperFlyer all had an amazing time.

Picture of the DO:

Back at that DO no one really knew who I was, besides that I was the guy who started the jokes thread, which I must say was one of my finest additions to DDF ;)

Since that DO I have made countless friends and received countless favors from DDF members, who truly are like family.

Some that come to mind.

@rots5 and @moish putting me up in Israel while @moishebatchy offered my friends and I extra sheets for our stay, this was of course when we went with the first El AL glitch tickets. @SamKey For hooking up his apartment for Pesach and @Emkay for some awesome kugel, that I am pretty sure had an ok hechsher. @Chaikel for setting up a sweet Jamaican honeymoon.

@steve2 and the fights other new comers used to love to pick like @AJK when he was a total troll back in the day and @HelpMe who IMO had no idea what he fell into when he got here, and I'd like to think was very happy that he stayed.

@TimT is always there to offer some advice and is obviously the best searcher on DDF, @AsherO and @aussiebochur used to be that helpful guy until he got too busy for us ;)

Of course there was @JEWDA who it's still hard to believe isn't here anymore, going to his widows house the day after my Lchaim/vort with my then fiance will always be very special to me. The way DDF comes together when someone is in need (@SBS thread) is so heart touching it's hard to explain.

@mileagejunkie @Marco Polo @myi @YossieW @stooges44 @davidmal @Yaalili @B.D.Da'ehu @ben89 and of course @Davidthebest are my 100 HT club peeps, and have helped ignite the great deals we post every day to help tens of thousands of people save (and maybe spend) money every day. I really appreciate every deal that's sent to us and that's posted on DDF.

I couldn't possibly remember all of the countless nights I stayed up to argue with someone that was wrong about the most random things imaginable. @churnbabychurn @ExGingi @aygart @ChaimMoskowitz and of course many others can always be counted on for some good popcorn when it's needed. And @sky121 can always be counted on for a balanced and positive view on any subject.

Some dude coming along looking to sell a stinky old fish tank has drastically improved the trip reports and photography skills of DDF, hats off to you @Something Fishy.

@DH Data Recovery practically owned the tech deals on ddf at one point, and he @chevron and @txtmax4  are always good for a wine recommendation.

Wrigley softball DO with @SrulyS @Moes Tavern @Redbull3 @MosheD @EJB @chucksterace @Bentch @grodnoking @AJK @Yitzshpitz @Dan@Yodai Dooma @ShmulieCFS @JTZ

One day I may even meet @henche though that is likely IMPOSSIBLE.

Big shoutout to @BAHayman, @Eli, and @Suave for making DDMS/DDF able to run and be what it is today thanks to them!

The first DDF shidduch was super cool @Lou Bob @MC to many more, spending shabbos together in Aruba on the Hyatt Price Mistake was awesome.

Crazy to imagine there are over 300 members with 1,000+ posts so my apologies, I'm sure I missed many memories.

I made a thread asking what I should do for my 10,000 post, and I will try to do most of them below.

Enjoy :)
A typical day in the life of Dan:

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Dan wakes up from an amazing night's rest on his W Hotel mattress. and tell his Echo Dot which he got for free to turn on the Breville Coffee Maker plugged into his smart plug.

Get into hisNissan Altima and take the quick 2 minute drive to shachris.

After davening, @AJK texts Dan that AA has a Price Mistake to LA in F for $5, if they buys it in the airport and flies today. Naturally Dan just heads straight to the airport and boards the flight to LA. On the plane there is a dog next to him, which was strange at first until he realized it was just @meshugener flying in F as well.

In LAX Dan visits the United lounge, which he has free access to with his lifetime membership and his JMPRCC. He picks up his rental from Silver Car and heads to Tierra Sur for the Lunch DO.

In LA @Yehoshua @Cholentfresser @Yaalili @PlatinumGuy @yehuda @D93 @etech0 @ilherman and @David Smith all meet up for the DO.

All of a sudden Barto walks in and instinctively, the group makes a beeline for the door. But before they can bail, he stops them...And says he planned the AA Price Mistake in order to get a face to face with Dan after all these years.

Barto has realized after years of being the bad guy, he just wanted to hang out with the cool kids on DDF from the olden days like @Drago @Saver2000 @Cbs @Q274 @MarkS @aussiebochur , @chuchem and @myb821, he said even though it's @noturbizniss but he left his old job and as he was leaving he reinstated all the damage he's done over the years, returning millions of miles to their rightful owners.

Everyone was very happy and had drinks all around as well as
grilled to perfection.

After Lunch Dan drives back to the airport and rushes to catch his flight home as he realizes it is almost time for his UPS delivery. On the plane he uses the on board Wi-Fi to make some posts and read DDF (this is actually what takes up 18 hours of the day every day, besides shabbos).

He makes it home just in time to receive his UPS delivery of US Mint coins. He had set up delayed delivery back in 2009 and every day since then he has been receiving a $10k shipment of US Mint coins shipped via the UPS Method. To date this has netted a cool 30,000,000+ SPG points.

At the end of the day he reflect on life and remembers what is really important and what he is thankful for.

Now it's time to count to 10,000 and fall asleep.

(This is a fairly typical day)

Just some simple tricks for car rental status.

You can get free Sixt Platinum status when you sign up with this link. Once you confirm your email address you can login and instantly get your card online that shows you as Platinum.

Then match that status to National and hopefully get Executive elite, possibly Executive. (Can also apply here directly for executive)

Then email Hertz Simply enroll in the Hertz Gold Plus Rewards Program then provide proof of your identity and proof of status with other car rental companies via email to

And apply for Enterprise Platinum here.

Avis you can try via social media or calling sometimes.

Fell free to add more matches in the comments.
A quick chazara of all my posts: Your attitude is what decides your mood, not what's going on. You can have a trip ruined if something goes wrong, or it can become one of the most memorable trips of your life. Roll with the punches. Always have a healthy dose of cynicism. Understand that someone with beliefs to the right of you or the left of you aren't wrong, just different, a rainbow would be pretty ugly with just one color. Enjoy life and always cherish what's most important to you, and try to keep that in mind every second of every day.

As a last note I'd like to do a small giveaway. just comment on this thread and I'll choose one winner to get a Google Home Mini and another winner to get the best card games IMO being Codenames and Monopoly Deal.

I can't thank DDF enough for giving me all the opportunities life has to offer, from making friends, traveling the world, to supporting my family, I couldn't do any of it without this truly amazing community.

Just to end off with a special thanks to Dan for starting it all and giving me the opportunity to grow the site and live the blessed life that I do.

July 09, 2018, 12:46:34 PM
Re: AMEX CLAWING BACK AMEX OFFERS CREDITS!! We paly these games to get around the T&C's. Then when we get caught we cry like babies. Take the hit and just move on.
August 30, 2018, 07:37:35 AM
Re: Lebanon Master Thread As a non yeshivish Jew, I disagree with the insinuation that only Yeshivish people keep Halacha. :)
September 22, 2018, 11:53:20 PM
Cosco Vinyl 4-Pack Folding Chair, Black-$43.20

November 24, 2018, 06:52:12 PM
Re: Cosco Vinyl 4-Pack Folding Chair, Black-$43.20
In for one. Thanks!

BTW, David is indeed the best. Thanks for all the deals.
Hit that like button for @Davidthebest

November 24, 2018, 09:51:14 PM
Re: El al flight arriving close to Shabbos - again
I meant in the Israeli press.
The originators of fake news before fake news was cool.

November 25, 2018, 10:10:16 AM
Re: El al flight arriving close to Shabbos - again
1. Source that elal didn't do safety checks?
2. Ive heard many first hand claims that passangers weren't unruly.
3. Elal could have saved the msog money by landing in Israel and not adhering to their self imposed policy.
1) all the passengers saying they just took off.
2) getting up and asking to deplane is "unruly" by passenger behavior standards
3) there'$ a rea$on they have the policy. And once the policy is in place, you can't just flout it, they would be sued for far more and the boycott would have been immidiate and far reaching.

They saved money by diverting to Athens and they had NO idea if Chabad would have been able to handle the crowd or not. They couldn't care less.

And again, you are ignoring the main point that they deliberately slandered Jews to cover their @$$€$. AND IT WORKED! Imagine any other airline or company doing that to any other minority?! I mean twitter couldn't buy enough bandwith to handle the outrage. And you want people to be appreciative of that?!

There's a word for what they did - anti semitism. We need to stick up for ourselves and not let bigots lie to, dehumanize and then patronize us.

November 25, 2018, 11:11:24 AM
Yamaha PSR-EW300 76-Key Portable Keyboard Kit w/ Stand & Accessory Package $199 Yamaha PSR-EW300 76-Key Portable Keyboard Kit with Stand and Accessory Package for only $199 from B&H
Price: $314.99
Cyber Monday Savings: $115.00
this is selling on amazon still for $309

November 25, 2018, 10:54:11 PM
Re: What the heck Amazon? A trillion dollar company cant get their story straight.
To be honest, these stories are a lot more fun when they happen to Dan, because the ending would've looked something like this:

So I hung up the phone, and changed all the links on DDMS to go to Jet instead, and Amazon's stocks subsequently crashed, and Jet gave me unlimited access to their forums.
If only I were Dan........
"As I hung up the phone I realized something odd. The Echo Dots had gone up to $199.99 but the classic echo suddenly show'd up as $0.99. I tried adding 100 of them to my cart and sure enough the total was $99.00 (insert screenshot here).
Amazon is currently running an "Echo Bananas" promo where you get 12 free organic bananas with every purchase of a classic echo so I added 1200 bananas to my cart as well
I paid $5.99 for express one day shipping and the next day my poor UPS guy, who already despises me due to the infamous UPS method  ;) shelped 100 boxes into my house. (insert picture of sweaty UPS dude).

Now I just have to find 100 nieces and nephews to give Chanuka gifts to.
Who would you give an Echo to? Hit the comment section below."

November 28, 2018, 02:23:56 PM
Re: Vaccine Discussion Master Thread I have no idea who wrote this. To be sung to the tune of Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel)

I have a little Yingel
With rash and eye discharge
I thought that it was nothing
But my doctor made it large

He said your kid has measles
Why didn't you give shots?
I told him it's baloney
An evil doctors' plot

Measles, measles, measles
I will not immunize
So what if my neighbors' kids
All have pus in their eyes

My son was exposed to measles
They said don't send to school
I just put him on the bus
Do they think I'm a fool?

Board of Health says no school
Not one of them is Frum
I just sent him anyway
How dare you say it's Krum!

Chorus: Measles, measles, measles...

They said immunize your kids
I answer with contempt
Don't bother me with that Shtus
I'm religiously exempt

I sent the school a health form
I said he's immunized
When they have an outbreak
They sure will be surprised

Chorus: Measles, measles, measles...

I just don't get some people
Who are religious weasels
Who use their "quote" Frumkeit
To immunize for measles

I want to visit Bubby
Why should I go alone?
I'll take my little tzadik
And expose the nursing home

Chorus: Measles, measles, measles...

Sit down at the table
The family will eat hearty
As you spread your measles
At the family Chanukah party

Now all the kids are dead
And Bubby's gone too
I don't know why
I'm just a good Jew

Chorus: Measles, measles, measles...

December 07, 2018, 10:21:49 AM
Re: Haters, Threats, And Trolls Tell me who this guy is, I'll go give him a piece of my mind, no one messes with my kids.
December 23, 2018, 09:17:12 AM
Re: Should I Change My Username?
How do you change your username?
So @ChaimMoskowitz What's your new username?

February 14, 2019, 12:31:08 AM
TimT is a Lying, Cheating, Scumbag, Good For Nothing, THIEF! He acts like he's our friend all these years, becomes the most helpful DDF'er, learns the entire forums bal peh, and then up and disappears without a trace.

Can you think of anything lower?

(Seriously though how does no one know where he is?)

February 22, 2019, 08:31:05 AM
Re: PSA: Don't swipe recklessly for others ere is the story in regards to one of the recent credit card swiping scams.

Someone already mentioned the owners name S*****. He has a business reselling toners and other photo electronics.

He's been using people's credit cards for quite a number of years where he would use people's cards and pay the bills when they were due. He also had a lot of loans from loan sharks - paying 30% interest and paying over a year etc.

It reached a point where his business couldn't sustain the extreme amount of interest he was paying for swiping other people's credit cards.

He paid people to get him credit cards from other to swipe by him.
I know for a fact that he and his brother hounded people for credit cards when they already knew that things were going downhill, so all this talk that he's not a ganev, and didn't mean to screw anyone is a load of BS

The straw that broke the camel's back was when his credit card processor froze his processor and alot of money as well, and that is when the whole thing went bust.

There is between 15-18mm dollars owed to over 200 people just on credit cards alone. This doesn't include cash loans that he owes people.

These people live a very comfortable lifestyle, nice houses, expensive cards, own real estate etc.

Unfortunately there are many young kollel guys involved that don't have a single penny to their name and got connected to all this via the guys who brokered credit cards to this business.

At this point he hasn't given any sort of plan on how and when hes paying people back and is mostly just avoiding giving any real concrete plan. The options for all the victims all have downsides to them.

A few people have already disputed 100's of thousands of dollars, and this caused the merchant account to be flagged. Almost every person I know that is involved have gotten FR'ed by Amex.

People are either going to just have to default on the loans and hope for the best, or some may take the dispute route although with this much money at stake I doubt the processing bank will go down so easily. There are ways to dispute legally without saying any lies but it can be expensive and in addition there is a very big chance that this can blow up into an even larger criminal fraud investigation, and people might not want to be connected in any way shape or form to this business.

Its a big mess, and this isn't the only story happening right now - aside from Sterling there are at least 3 more stories that I know of going on right now.

I know it's been said many times here, and I myself always thought it won't happen to me, and its quite embarrassing - I'm a longtime ddfer and know many people on here personally - hence I created a new username for this post.

It's a very unfortunate situation with many victims involved. I know people who were/are on the verge of getting divorced bec of this. It's just not worth it. No matter how much point/money you can make. There are too many risks involved.

I will not answer any pm's and will try my best to answer any questions that are asked here.

February 22, 2019, 01:44:19 PM
Re: Dan's Inbox: Where Fun Happens!
@Dan owns a country now?! You guys must be doing quite well!
Bh bh.

March 15, 2019, 03:03:09 PM
Re: "Tell me' information hotline Chacha, tell me a joke ;D

To explain it to the younger generation,  its Siris grandmother  ;D

April 18, 2019, 10:09:55 AM
Re: Jokes Master Thread
Thirty seconds? Wow, you type fast!  :P

June 04, 2019, 07:23:26 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home.
I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

June 11, 2019, 08:20:29 AM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
July 03, 2019, 04:31:29 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
July 05, 2019, 04:22:46 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
July 07, 2019, 05:33:08 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread A group of bochurim were going on a road trip. They had two cars - a station wagon and a coupe. They couldn't decide which of the two cars should lead - some argued the coupe should lead because it's a fancier car. Some argued that the Wagon should lead because of B'Rov Am Hadras Melech. They kept going back and forth, but couldn't reach a conclusion. So they turned to the resident Iluy in the beis medrash and asked him - his opinion.

"Obviously, the coupe should go first - don't you know the rule - Two-Door, V'Shainu Two-Door - Two-Door Kodem"

July 09, 2019, 12:36:37 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread From Mr Wikipedia
July 09, 2019, 03:16:01 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread Thieves wander into a shtetl and kidnap four Jewish men right before Yom Kippur, and hold them for Ransom. The 4 men they kidnap are: The Rabbi, The Chazzan, the Shul President, and one of the balei batim.

The community realizes it's a bad precedent, and decides not to pay the Ransom, and so after some debate, the thieves decide that they need to kill these four men. To show that they are not cruel, they grant each man a last request.

The Rabbi says - "I wrote a beautiful sermon for Kol nidrei, it's sure to get anyone to do Teshuva - can I please give my sermon?"
The Chazzan says - "I composed a beautiful niggun for Nesaneh Tokef, and I would love to sing it!"
The President says - "I wrote an amazing appeal that would cause everyone to donate to the shul, and I'd like to give it"
The Ba'al Habyis says - "Kill me first"

July 12, 2019, 11:43:39 AM
Re: Jokes Master Thread Chaim Yankel is going on his first Shidduch date. Chaim is very shy, and hasn't really talked to any girls, so before the date, his father gives him this advice: "Since you're dating for the sake of marriage, your conversations need to be tachlisdik (functional) - you need to cover three topics: Food - you need to know if your food tastes are compatible; Family - you need to know her approach to family and family values, and Philosophy - which will help you understand how she thinks and who she is as a person." Chaim repeats this to his dad - "Food, Family, Philosophy, got it", and heads off to pick up his date.

Because Chaim and his date are both shy, things, as you imagine aren't going well. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Chaim remembers his first topic - Food. He turns to his date and asks: "Tell me, do you like soup?". His date looks at him, and simply replies, "No".

After a few more minutes of awkward silence, Chaim moves on to topic #2 - Family - "Tell me, " he asks her, " does your brother like soup?" She replies: "I don't have any brothers".

After a few more minutes of awkward silence, Chaim moves on to topic #3 - Philosophy - "Tell me," he asks, " If you had a brother, do you think he'd like Soup?"

July 12, 2019, 11:52:18 AM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread .
July 15, 2019, 07:55:16 PM
Re: Comments That Crack Me Up!
July 19, 2019, 09:10:41 AM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
:-\ :-\

The other night in my home:

Me, "Do you need anything from Target? We need another $9 for free shipping."
Mrs Yehuda57, "Sure. I'll message you some stuff."
Me, add band aids and other similarly priced items to cart. "Anything else? We're still $1 short."
Mrs Yehuda57, "Sure. I'll message you some stuff."
Me, goes to checkout, total is 278.86

July 22, 2019, 11:38:37 AM
Re: Misspelled titles
I understand that you can find any thread you want when you're looking for it - but why in tarnation were you looking for that thread?!?!?
How else do you think he remembers everything? He’s constantly chazering

July 22, 2019, 10:56:22 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread Was this a ddfer
July 24, 2019, 03:49:56 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
July 29, 2019, 01:48:37 PM
Re: Jokes Master Thread Were an illegal immigrant to be stopped on a New York street carrying a shopping bag full of drugs he’d face life in prison.

For carrying a plastic bag.

July 30, 2019, 02:22:49 PM
Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
July 31, 2019, 04:43:44 PM
Re: US Politics/2016 Election Pick Your Poison Master Thread
Okay, I just opened this thread fro (what I believe is) the first time and read the wiki.

What kind of strange alternate universe is this place?

A moderator!

We are saved!!!

August 15, 2019, 08:08:21 PM
Re: Random Posts Can we rename the politics thread the @CountValentine Koolaid Thread, and then start a new one with Koolaid/AntiKoolaid rhetoric barred?
August 18, 2019, 08:00:06 PM