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Re: Which/How Many Airports Have You Been To? Abba/Tatty/Daddy (he can't seem to make up his mind, anyone want to offer him any tips?) hasn't flown with me anywhere yet (I know, I'm as surprised as you are :P), but can I at least count the 19 airports I visited while inside my mommy?

US48:
Cleveland (CLE)
Dallas/Ft. Worth (DFW)
Houston (IAH)
Kansas City (MCI)
New York (LGA)
Newark (EWR)
Orange County (SNA)
Pittsburgh (PIT)
S. Fransisco (SFO)

Australia:
Devonport, Tasmania (DPO)
Hamilton Island/Great Barrier Reef Airport (HTI)
Hobart, Tasmania  (HBA)
Melbourne (MEL)
Sydney (SYD)

Canada:
Toronto (YYZ)

China:
Hong Kong (HKG)

Thailand:
Bangkok (BKK)
Chiang Mai (CNX)
Phuket (HKT)

August 24, 2011, 01:06:26 AM
1
Re: My letter to Spirit
Dear Spirit Airlines:
 
I have some ideas how you could make more money and I’m baffled as to why you didn’t already incorporate these ideas into your prices. I can’t believe you didn’t think of them yourself, but just in case you didn’t, I’m sending them to you so you can start charging for them right away.

o Only allow a set body weight to be included in the ticket. Charge anyone who weighs more than, say, 150 lb. a $2 surcharge for every pound above the limit.
o Limit passengers to wearing only a shirt, a pair of pants, and shoes. Sweaters should cost $10, coats $20, etc.
o Lap-children should be charged based on their age and the amount of noise they make during the flight.
o Put a credit card machine on the bathroom door on all your airplanes and charge a fee for access.
o Flights with weather-related delays should retroactively bill more for the ticket because the crew has to be paid overtime.
o Also add a “mandatory gratuity” if the plane takes off on time. After all, everyone expected it to be delayed.
o Create self-serve flights, so that you can add a surcharge for full-service flights with pilots and stewardesses.
o Add a customer service surcharge and legal fees to all tickets, because everyone is bound to complain about something.
o Start charging for carry-ons. Oh, I forgot. You already do.
o Charge for beverages. Oh right, you do that too.
o Charge an access fee for using the jet-bridge. Staircase access will stay free.
o Add an expensive landing surcharge because everyone will be willing to pay just about anything to get down once they’re in the air.
o Because cell phones require extra crew scrutiny to assure they’re off, all phones should have to be checked, in separate bags of course (make up a FAA regulation or something like that).
o Charge an access fee for using the aisle. After all, if there wasn’t an aisle you would be able to fit a lot more seats.
o Place a “donate to Spirit” charity box on top of every seat. You never know how stupid people will be.
o Add a “Pearl Harbor Security Fee”. After all, nobody complains about the September 11th Fee.

Thanks for taking the time to read my letter. I look forward to seeing some of these ideas implemented in the near future, so I can be more confident in my decision to never ever fly Spirit.

A Frequent Flyer

Dear Frequent Flyer,

Thank you for your letter. Our marketing department was quite happy with your suggestions. We would like to respond to each of your points, however, if we miss one or two, we already know that you don't mind because you have flown us, and well, you know we miss stuff all the time. So, here goes:

We have been kicking around the extra weight problem for a long while now. As you may know, it costs us additional fuel to haul around the extra weight, so we will implement a "fuel surcharge fee". To be fair, we are going to add it to everyones ticket, basically because we can.

Limiting customers attire is an outstanding way of forcing our favorite frequent fliers to cough up more cash for a checked bag at the gate. Thank you.

We would really rather ban lap kids altogether, and force people to just buy an extra seat. I mean, really folks, that crying ball of throw up becomes a missile during any turbulence.

Ryan Air (our sister company on the other side of the pond) thought of this one first. We did a test study for a brief time. Turns out our customers will just relieve them selves in the isle as opposed to swiping their credit cards for a "clean, comfortable and private" lavatory.

You think we actually PAY our pilots?  Hahaha. No, our pilots are in worse financial shape than the majority of our customers, and that's really saying something.

No mandatory gratuity, we don't want to get the poor pilots hopes up.

We have tried to get rid of our pesky crew for self flying drones on a number of occasions. The FAA has been stubbornly unaccepting of progress. Please write your congress critter and let them know that the FAA should allow Spirit to spearhead progressive steps in technology. You have no idea how much we would really like to fire more employees.

The legal fees you discuss are already included in the cost of your ticket. We just have not bothered to break that out as an additional fee item. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean we are not charging you for it.

Of course we charge for carry ons. And if you are too lazy to read the fine print, and fail to pay for that carry on when you book the ticket, you will pay three times as much for it when you get to the gate.

Beverages, they cost money, you are a captive audience. Duhhh. We have also tried to make the cabbin air even dryer in the hopes of selling additional inflight beverages.

It actualy would cost us more to use air stairs than a jet bridge.

Landing surcharge is under government fees. We already charge that.

Cell phones don't actually bother any of the sensitive equipment on the aircraft. First, sensitive equipment costs money to maintain, cost to train crew, and it is heavy, so we just got rid of it. As an aside, that's also the real reason for the "bad weather delays", we don't have the equipment required to fly through, or even anywhere near that stuff. Second, because we don't pay our flight crew anything, allowing them to hassle the crap out of our customers re cell phones is really a perk for them. Some companies give perks like medical insurance, we give hassling the crap out of the customer.

Again, the FAA is at the bottom of this problem. They claim the aisle is an emergency egres route, and must remain clear. We countered with another idea from our sister company, Ryan Air, that we sell standing room in the aisle, and people just hold on to a rail, like on a bus. The FAA, however, just is not progressive enough in their thinking on the matter.

In a test trial of donation boxes, we found the crew would raid them between flights in order to purchase alcoholic beverages prior to their next flight. Supposedly this was to help the cabin crew deal with complaining customers, and the flight crew to sleep in the cockpit (that way they could be awake for the job that actually pays them... Flipping burgers).

You would be surprised how many people complain about the Sept. 11 fee.

Well, that about wraps up this letter. I hope that we have touched on all of your concerns. If we have failed to meet your expectations in any way, please feel free to book one of our super great awesome cheap fares to where ever, and complain to your cabin crew. As long as they have not been raiding the donation boxes again, I'm sure they will be happy to discuss it with you.

Sincerely yours,
Spirit Management.




May 29, 2016, 03:56:59 AM
1
Re: Elite Member Groups!
65 more posts to 20k....
is there a bottle waiting for you?
Sooper Sekret 20K forum.

January 13, 2017, 11:09:52 AM
1
Re: Dan's Deals Resale
There was a spellchecker for sale earlier
Which would find nothing wrong with his post

May 09, 2017, 09:39:05 PM
1
Re: The Funny/strange/interesting/random Tweets Thread
August 01, 2018, 08:03:38 PM
1
Re: Cheapest Way TLV to Jerusalem? Anonymous card works.
December 26, 2018, 12:57:23 PM
1
Re: google voice help
I'm on tapatalk... Is that really a thing though?
Oh yah, I get a raise in my salary once I reach 1k likes. Keep them coming.

+1 but likes are always better ;)
Lol..
 +1 indeed. Not +2 ;)

So it seems like on ios just gv and hangouts are enough. I can call and text. It shows up on caller id as my google voice number
So it seems your ready for the next step, which allows you to use your american phone number you had back in the states on your google voice account? (or unless you don't have a US number active while in israel?)

 I try to always bring my T-mobile phone, as I would need it for verification codes or random stuff. A spare phone should I need, and my regular american number so I would verify it on GV and have that number as my outbound caller ID. And would ring when someone called me on it, meaning it would ring on my GV phone number as I set up call forwarding to ring on my Google voice number allowing me to receive all my calls.
 With T-mobile I had no problems setting up call forwarding while in IL and with sprint I would have CS set it up for me should I have forgotten to set it up before hand.

 Any more Q feel free to ask. And ping my name should you want to direct the Q to me.

 Also being that you have a iphone some details might not work the exact same. But I would assume all would or should.
 Good night folks. Or good morning for those in the holy land.

January 06, 2019, 11:45:16 PM
1
Re: iPhone Xs - XS Max
Thanks, I also found it on ebay for $25. Still debating how much I really want/need it.
Just get AirPods.

January 13, 2019, 10:07:19 AM
1
Re: Elal airlines
They go to greece
free stop over ;)

January 14, 2019, 08:01:41 PM
1
Re: Amex Platinum Master Thread Please move this to the YWN coffee room.
January 15, 2019, 03:21:14 PM
1
Re: T-mobile Tuesdays (free stuff) Too lazy to make a thread about the newly launched Sprint Rewards, here is my code to Papa John's one topping pizza. Won't be using it anytime soon.

hp2ffy3b43k4mkd

Enter it on their site https://www.papajohns.com/


January 15, 2019, 07:08:35 PM
1
Re: South Florida Master Thread
We are going the first week of February and staying in Surfside. Will it still be as crazy as the main "Yeshiva week" or do things quiet down somewhat?

It's just the 2 of us and a one-year old, and I've scrolled through over 50 pages looking for info but can't find it, specifically with regards to strollers.

1) Since the boardwalk isn't in Surfside, is it pointless to go to the beach there because of the baby and we should instead uber to areas that we can walk around?
2) Are there any restaurants that make sense, or are they all too jam packed? We have that annoying stroller issue once again.
3) What about restaurants that have outdoor seating areas? Would that be better?
4) If we can't actually go eat in a restaurant, that's fine honestly. Are those places manageable if we call in an order and go to pick it up?
5) During the busier weeks, do you end up waiting for hours even for ubereats? We are totally fine with just ordering food and not physically eating there.
6) Any other advice related to South Florida with a baby would be most appreciated!!
Surfside has a beach walkway.

Sounds like if you invest in a $50 umbrella stroller all your other problems will be solved.

January 15, 2019, 09:43:38 PM
1
Re: US mint Coin deal
Buying Tomorrow’s coin $53.95 plus shipping
PAYING $25 commission for a order of 5

https://catalog.usmint.gov/apollo-11-50th-anniversary-2019-proof-half-dollar-set-19CF.html?cgid=commemoratives
You’re not allowed to solicit these anymore, PFS bought the exclusive rights from @Dan

January 23, 2019, 11:16:31 PM
1
Re: South Florida Master Thread
Zak
I'm talking about kosher places :P

February 14, 2019, 03:09:45 PM
1
Re: Absent DDFers
Is it just me or did @TimT Post something yesterday
Maybe @TimT can help you find it ;)

February 26, 2019, 08:26:23 AM
1
Re: Ad Campaign for spreading awareness anti credit card swiping businesses! "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
Robert J Hanlon

February 26, 2019, 09:31:06 PM
1
Re: If you could ask Dan one question, what would it be ?
I hope @Dan makes a DDMS post and answers these questions  :)
he may make himself sign a NDA

May 16, 2019, 08:17:28 AM
1
Re: DDF DO: Jerusalem Edition
FTFY
Based on the way he's been planning away, he probably doesn't have a spare moment available on his itinerary.
We'll see what's more important to him, having a DO or trying to find the best food in EY with a good hechsher  :)

May 28, 2019, 11:54:29 AM
1
Re: Deals on deathwatch. With @Dan coming to town we have to add.
#WAJmethod


May 28, 2019, 12:00:46 PM
1
Re: DDF Trading Middlemen Hey guys, having trouble finding a good middle man for your deal? Hire me and l will find you a DDF middle man for the low cost of $2 + 3.76% of the deal!

If you are not sure you can trust me to to find a good middle man, I can provide you with a list of references who (for a small fee) can vouch for my middle man finding success.

In an unrelated note, DDF middleman; hit me up if you are looking for referrals (for a fee).

June 04, 2019, 06:42:13 AM
1
Re: DDF DO: Jerusalem Edition
I'm in for anything on Friday or monday. Jerusalem, herzliya, or Eilat, doesn't matter.
Don't make the desperation so obvious.

June 04, 2019, 08:48:49 AM
1
Re: DDF DO: Jerusalem Edition
Nice DO @davidrotts63
Definitely was :)

June 06, 2019, 09:37:45 PM
1
Re: Comments That Crack Me Up! https://www.dansdeals.com/shopping-deals/kitchen/samsung-22-cu-ft-counter-depth-4-door-french-door-food-showcase-refrigerator-just-1949-50-shipped-50-off-code/#comment-1411564
June 17, 2019, 04:44:09 PM
1
Re: New Coin Deal
which buyers are paying $125?
Were paying  before the release

July 07, 2019, 08:11:30 PM
1
Re: Free Stuff There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
July 17, 2019, 03:15:17 PM
1
Re: Shiduchim well you sure live up to your name! :D
August 04, 2019, 03:56:52 PM
1
Re: Why I don’t live in Israel yet
Too far from my in-laws
this would be first reason you should live there!!

August 07, 2019, 11:09:14 PM
1
Re: DIY (Do It Yourself Repairs) - Successes and Blunders Did that recently with a light fixture. Went to turn the breaker back on and couldn't figure out why the fixture wasn't turning on. Ended up measuring the distance from the walls to the box on the ceiling and went up to the attic and triangulated the position of the box. Pulled up a bunch of insulation to see if a wire was cut. While following the wires, I noticed that it went down into one of the walls, hmm why would it do that? Then it hit me. The switch.

August 08, 2019, 12:31:59 PM
1
Re: DDF DO: NYC Edition?
I'm in CH now. So...Allenbi or Izzy's :)
Maybe split between 2 shifts, a 5pm and a 7pm?

August 19, 2019, 05:02:31 PM
1
Re: Random Posts For Non-Meshugeners
Spotted @Dan
i think your repeating the same mistake as this video
https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/purim-schtick-dansdeals-music-videos/
https://youtu.be/HNdIVwCNFh4

September 23, 2019, 11:46:55 PM
1
Re: Abused by staff at Thrifty / Hertz in Oakland Airport Obviously no one has the right to be a jerk. But showing your license and keys to the checkout person at a rental car place is standard procedure, so you were in the wrong refusing to do so. And l apologize that this is going to come off sounding mean because I intend it to be helpful...you really need to buck up a bit and not let the world run your life. So someone making minimum wage in a crap job is rude to you, either let it roll off or tell them to do their job...or just drive away, what are they going to do, chase you? Cowering in fear and running back home because you're so upset just seems like a massive and unnecessary waste. I know not everyone is naturally assertive, take an improv class and some Judo. Do something besides ranting ineffectually on an online forum! It's your life, you don't deserve to have others who are having a bad day be able to ruin an entire weekend for you like this, you deserve better!
September 29, 2019, 08:20:33 PM
1
Afghanistan Master Thread Yeah. You know it
October 07, 2019, 10:07:34 AM
1
Re: Boycott Kaporas?
Let those idiots waste all their time energy and money.
You are swinging a chicken over your head and they are the idiots?   ::)

October 07, 2019, 03:59:46 PM
1
Re: New Coin Deal Someone @'d me and wrote that I should "chime in". As you can imagine, I've been swamped over the last few days (Boruch Hashem for Shabbos!), and there's no way i am going to read the last 10-15 pages of this thread that I missed.
I did post the following on another site, so I figured I'd just copy and paste it here... Enjoy! (the middle piece is about some guy who claimed I stole his coin and never paid him.)

Guys, this is becoming increasingly pathetic.

Please – anyone that opted in to our deal – please stop looking for ways to rationalize a decision or a contemplation of a decision of backing out of the deal that you made.

If you’re okay with yourself to back-out and don’t care about commitments, terms and agreement, then that’s fine, but to start pulling at straws like this, it’s ridiculous.

If you have a moral compass and know what’s right, do what’s right. We all get it. Money makes people do strange things, but this is asinine.

Let’s go over that single individual’s case, and then move on to this deal…

That case – the weight of the package when dropped off at FedEx – the initial scan – showed that just a box was sent. An empty box. We had one email to the member notifying him that the box arrived empty and that he’s not getting paid. From his response (or lack thereof) It was obvious to us and to our attorney that that was the case – so we didn’t even bother to file a claim with FedEx.

We’ve had dozens of lost packages or missing content packages and we’ve filed claims on all of them ex-this one, and we’ve always paid out our members in full (including promised commissions).

We have thousands of satisfied members, thousands. This is one guy, that obviously tried to scam us, and we didn’t fall for it. end of story.

THIS DEAL – it’s simple. Our business model follow this typical path – We pre-sell our EXPECTED orders to a dealer or two – we made great connections (over 13 years doing this, and work with the largest in the business – names that were mentioned in this thread, name you all know).
we do this for EVERY DEAL WE RUN. the last time PFS didn’t pre-sell our expected orders was in October of 2015 (JFK C&C sets). We have done >20 deals since. This is a fact.

Now, typically we give ~60% of the premium the we receive (over mint cost) to our members, we have about 20% of opex, and are lucky/extremely happy if we net 20% of what the total premium is.

The price and premium we get ALWAYS has to do with the pre-sale “value” of the item.

CASE IN POINT – this is our 4th deal we ran this year. We did the Apollo coins at the start of the year, The Pride Sets in July, and we just did the Palladium coin a bit ago. ALL THREE OF THOSE DEALS we received a premium, shared it liberally with our members, and they ALL – each one of the three – declined in value RIGHT AWAY – neither sold out at the Mint, and buyers (including ourselves and our dealers) were able to buy as many as they wanted 24 hours later directly from the mint.

We came through – to every buyer – there were between $700 and $1987 in spend (depending on which deal) there were commissions paid out, FedEx labels sent, emails answered, boxes packed etc.

PFS NEVER went and negotiated with our members, hey, cancel your order, or let me pay you less since they’re worth less, or let me buy the coins ourselves so we can get our own credit card points. never.

ALL OF A SUDDEN there’s a deal the works in the favor our OUR DEALERS – (for us – and our members – this was a guaranteed deal and this should be like each and every other deal – where we had the guarantee and we had the risless profit…) but no, now PFS is the villain!! PFS is preying on people that had no clue while they knew this was going to explode!

FACT: PFS sold our entire quantity – even more than we’ll likely end up getting – PRIOR to the “value” increasing.

Realistically, there are two items here, there’s the silver eagle on Wednesday the 13th – that we all had a price and a fair value for, and we were all were SO EXCITED about getting paid $100 for spending 20 minutes at lunch break the next day.

And now the item dwarfed into something so much bigger, everyone wants in on the upside! I don’t get it, I really don’t. You can’t invest in a guaranteed Bank CD at 2% interest and then call the Banker and ask for the 20% that the S&P 500 returned!!! This is precisely what’s going on.

We clearly warned about it to…
“*There are 30,000 of these coins being minted, and we do not want to hold any extra inventory for ourselves. It truly is impossible to know if they’ll be a good investment / speculation and if they don’t sell out, the Mint will likely lift the household limits 24 hours after they go on sale.
*You must be approved before making the purchase. If you do not receive a confirmation email to purchase you will not be reimbursed.
*On the same note, since we want to fill our entire purchase order and are not accepting extra opt-ins, if you do want to partake in this deal, please make sure that you will be available to make the purchase at exactly 12PM ET.
*We cannot afford to be a backstop for people wanting to speculate afterward. Any unfilled quantity we have, could have went to someone else that may not have been approved for the offer because of your spot. If you opt in – you must be fully committed to fulfill the deal.”

Bottom line for all those who opted in and are reading this…
For those that would like to honor their commitment to PFS, so we in-turn can honor our commitments to our buyers… we have been bumping member’s payout up to $300 total. (I did one person’s to $337 as a unique case. I can’t do that across the board, sorry.) email us and we’ll raise yours to $300, no questions asked.

If you don’t want to honor the deal after reading this, please, grab your “courage” and email me stating that you read this and still don’t care, and i’ll close you out of the system. Again, no questions asked.

The back and forth in this thread and with some of the emails is straight out hurtful. People counting the money that I’m certainly making and how I’m the villain! PFS has helped THOUSANDS across the country earn hundreds and thousands of dollars, points, miles, all without risk, and in easy, simple, pleasant fashion on a robust platform and with great execution. We don’t need one comment of one unhappy member who is looking for an excuse to make a few extra dollars, changing that.

Over and out.
– Aron

November 17, 2019, 07:05:39 PM
1
Re: The Funny/strange/interesting/random Tweets Thread
November 21, 2019, 10:08:30 AM
1
Re: What Were Your Favorite DansDeals Of The Decade?
I got 12% off on a case of diapers once. That was nice.
Switch to Geico, they give at least 15% off.

December 21, 2019, 11:55:13 PM
1
Re: South Florida Master Thread Dave Barry's guide to the super bowl in Miami and also Miami in general.

Dear Super Bowl Visitor,

Welcome to Miami! Or as we say down here in an expression that we use all the time because of our Latin culture: “¡Feliz Navidad!”

That is our way of expressing how excited we are to once again be hosting the Super Bowl. The National Football League took it away from us for a few years, but we got it back by improving our stadium, upgrading our infrastructure and acquiring photographs of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell naked with a llama.


Ha ha! We are joking. It was an ocelot. But the specific mammal doesn’t matter. What matters is, the Super Bowl is finally back in Miami where it belongs. Because this is a city that truly knows how to throw a party. We hosted 10 previous Super Bowls, and they were extremely festive events as measured by the number of arrests. And those were just the players!

 But seriously, Super Bowl Roman Numeral 54 is going to be great, and Miami is ready to “roll out the red carpet” for you, our Super Bowl visitor. To make sure you have the best possible experience requiring the least possible amount of medical care, we’ve prepared the following Super Bowl Visitors Guide, filled with “insider tips” to help you enjoy your visit from the moment you arrive until the moment, possibly later that same day, when you run out of money:

WHERE TO STAY DURING THE SUPER BOWL

Miami has many world-class hotels with convenient locations, spacious rooms and modern amenities. All of these hotels are sold out. Maybe you can find something in Tampa.

GETTING AROUND BY PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

Miami has a variety of mass-transit options, including Metrorail, Metromover and Tri Rail. You can probably use these to get around. We can’t say for certain because, like everyone else in Miami, we travel exclusively by car. Sometimes, when we’re sitting motionless in a traffic jam, we pause from texting to glance up at an elevated train whooshing past overheard, and we wonder where it’s going, and how a person might get up there and board it. Then we go back to sitting motionless in traffic.

DRIVING IN MIAMI
Miami’s roads are very congested. Fortunately our major highways have “express lanes,” which means that you can pay a special toll to sit motionless in a completely separate traffic jam from the poor people.

Wherever you drive in Miami, you should be aware that our driving practices are different from the ones in whatever normal place you came from:

▪ We do not signal turns or lane changes, because we need to keep our hands free at all times for texting. If you see a Miami motorist whose turn signal is on, that motorist is sending this message: “I am unaware that my turn signal is on.”

▪ We do not consider stop signs to be directed at us personally.

▪ We do not yield to pedestrians, because they are, by definition, walking, which means they should be physically capable of getting out of our way.

▪ We also do not yield to other drivers, because they would interpret this as a sign of weakness.

▪ We do not stop for traffic lights that have been red for less than ten seconds. We classify such lights as “recently yellow.”

▪ When the traffic light turns green, we do not go, because we need to finish our texts.

▪ Sometimes we find it necessary to back up on the interstate.

Whatever your driving destination, you must at all costs avoid the Golden Glades Interchange, because once you enter it there is no way to know where it will spit you out. Motorists attempting to get from I-95 to the Palmetto Expressway have wound up as far away as Cleveland.

Also be advised that, for security reasons, every street in Coral Gables is named “Caramba.

DINING IN THE MIAMI AREA
Miami has a world-renowned dining scene, with plenty of famous and trendy restaurants. But why not break away from the crowd and try something different? We recommend a little-known, out-of-the-way spot — a hidden gem even many locals have never heard of — called “Joe’s Stone Crab.” It’s a friendly mom-and-pop operation with a relaxed, low-key vibe. The meat loaf is to die for. Literally. They will threaten to kill you if you order it. But they are just kidding around. They are big kidders at Joe’s.

NOTE: If, when you arrive at Joe’s, there is a long line of people waiting to be seated, simply march to the front and explain that you are a tourist visiting from out of town. You will be whisked to your table immediately. All that is expected from you in return is a smile. For that is the Joe’s way.

LOCAL DELICACIES YOU SHOULD TRY

You definitely need to try croquetas (pronounced “croquetas”). These are little breaded cylinders containing ham or chicken. Or ocelot. It doesn’t matter what specific meat they contain; they are delicious. They are the Official Finger Food of Miami. If, on New Year’s Eve, we wanted to ring in the new year by dropping an object that was truly representative of our city, we would drop a giant croqueta. At a typical social gathering we can easily consume upward of 250 croquetas. And that is per person.

Another famous local delicacy is whole roast pig done Cuban style, which is absolutely delicious. Or so we have been told. We always end up leaving before the pig is ready, because the cooking process takes forever. As far as we know, no traditional Cuban-style pig has ever been roasted all the way to completion. This is one reason why we consume so many croquetas.

MIAMI MUSEUMS AND CULTURAL SITES

Please. You are not here to visit museums and cultural sites. You are here to eat too much and get dangerously sunburned and party at a Miami Beach club where your bar tab will exceed your child’s college tuition.

THE BEST TIME TO VISIT MIAMI BEACH
We strongly recommend that you go at low tide.

PARKING IN MIAMI BEACH
Ha ha! That is hilarious.

VISITING THE EVERGLADES
If you’re a nature lover, you’ll definitely want to visit the Everglades, a unique and fascinating ecosystem that is being rapidly consumed by Burmese pythons the length of UPS trucks. Rest assured that this is nothing for you, the Super Bowl visitor, to worry about. According to the U.S. National Park Service, “the chances of your being eaten by a python are less than 40 percent, unless you are wearing provocative clothing.” So get out there and have fun!

WHAT TO DO IF YOU SEE ANY SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY
Listen, this is Miami. ALL activity here is suspicious.

THINGS TO DO IN BROWARD COUNTY
There might be things to do in Broward County. Nobody we know has ever gone there.

ATTENDING THE GAME
The Super Bowl will be played in what is named, at the moment, Hard Rock Stadium. It was previously known as (these are all actual former names of our stadium) New Miami Stadium, Sun Life Stadium, Land Shark Stadium, Dolphin (singular) Stadium, Dolphins (plural) Stadium, Pro Player Stadium, Pro Player Park and Joe Robbie Stadium. For $50, we will name this stadium after you for 15 minutes.

Pregame traffic will be very heavy, so allow plenty of time to travel to the stadium. We’re talking three days. If God forbid you find yourself in the Golden Glades interchange, you should abandon your vehicle and walk.

Security at the stadium will be very tight. You will not be admitted unless you know the password (“ocelot”). You are prohibited from bringing any of the following items into the stadium: guns, knives, swords, machetes, spears, pitchforks with more than three prongs, boomerangs, nunchucks, throwing axes, golf clubs, chopsticks, kebab skewers, torpedoes, land mines or incisors longer than 20 millimeters. Flamethrowers are OK if you have a note from a physician.

All underwear, including brassieres, must be worn on the outside of your clothing. While inside the stadium you may not clench your fists, grimace excessively or make karate noises such as “hi-yah!” During the fourth quarter nobody will be allowed to enter or leave the bathrooms.

The important thing is to have fun.

A SPECIAL WELCOME MESSAGE TO SUPER BOWL VISITORS FROM THE MIAMI CITY COMMISSION
Unfortunately, the Miami city commissioners were unable to agree on a welcome message.

January 22, 2020, 05:43:45 AM
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Re: chinese airlines offering flights for as low as $4 I prefer my coffee for now
February 27, 2020, 04:14:51 PM
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Re: Dating Spots Master Thread
any ideas for a small activity for 2nd date?
I don't know, but don't go to Louvre Museum, they closed due to Coronavirus fears.


(In other words, it would help if you specified a location...)

March 02, 2020, 05:30:13 PM
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Re: What are you drinking? Coffee. I love this thread.
March 10, 2020, 07:07:54 AM
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Re: Israel Escape Routes - March 2020/Corona fears Row, row, row, your boat...
March 10, 2020, 09:39:33 AM
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Re: What are you drinking?
Got a ton of mini Smirnoffs in my Mishloach Manos. Anyone here can share some mixed drink recipes?
Open the Smirnoffs.

Pour them into the sink.

Drink bourbon.

March 10, 2020, 07:08:00 PM
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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor ”Please do not take medical advice from a man who looked directly at a solar eclipse,”
March 24, 2020, 08:40:52 PM
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Re: Welcome to the Coronavirus Board I would post this in the wiki of each thread in the board, but instead, I'll put it here:

Generally, when I appreciate the idea of a DDF post, I push that small button under the post, aptly titled "like", so that the poster can get some recognition and know that people appreciate his/her contribution. I also use the button when I recognize that the DDFer exerted effort into bringing us the information contained in the post, and as a sign of gratitude, I hit the like button.

On this board, it has been increasingly difficult for me to hit the like button. How can someone like a post of this nature?
I have what to say on this topic as my shver a"h came out of there in a body bag this week, but my shver would have shushed me that the hospital didn't do anything and that's what Hashem did and only him.
or
My shver was niftar motzei Shabbas in NYC. He was ‘lucky’ enough to get a Tahara but we had to bury him al tanai in a temporary grave so we can move him to Israel at a later date. Only option to get to Israel was via a private jet but body could not be escorted by anyone due to the quarantine laws.

I have to say this has been one of the most gut wrenching, heart breaking experiences of my life and watch someone who was a true yoreh shamyim to have had a levya with a few people in the rain at the grave site. Not being able to say Kaddish for him, not have a shiva and give proper respect to him has been truly unbearable.

This is not to mention he was isolated in an icu unit for two weeks by himself on a ventilator and died by himself with his children not being able to goodbye.

I am not someone who would typically share this info but people need to know what we are dealing with here. The pain is too much.
or
My shver a"h is on this list. May his soul rest in Gan Eden. I have no doubt that he's there.
I therefore wish to make an open declaration, which I'm sure others will join me in asserting.
On this board, the like button does not connote that the contents of the post is enjoyed. Rather, it has taken on a new meaning:
"I feel for you; I care for you; I hope your pain goes away and only good news should be forthcoming."
I look forward to the day when the like button will retain its literal sense, but until then, know that a push on it means that we are with you, living this nightmare alongside you.

March 31, 2020, 10:24:40 AM
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Re: Looking to BUY Amex Offers - GoPro
i have spend $449 get $90 back, plz pm if you want....
i do too (I can’t write +1 for obvious reasons ::) )

April 03, 2020, 05:01:02 PM
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Re: Is there any good news in the fight against COVID-19?
Are you doubting the half an onion protected them? I think it’s genius
I'm not doubting a thing! I only came to add. If you want to bite the toenails while also eating raw onion, more power to you.

April 05, 2020, 12:27:03 AM
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Re: @DonZemmer Baseball Song Parodies
April 06, 2020, 09:58:52 AM
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Re: Best of DDF

Thank you to everyone who participated in this campaign, and especially to @aygart and @12HRS for matching!
There was no simple way to calculate it all, but we settled on a formula that recognized $1612 in donations, which all three of us matched (despite our original commitment of $1000). So that is a total of $6448 - in 2 days.
 ולא נשמע עוד שוד ושבר בגבולנו, ונזכה לקיים מצות צדקה בלי שום ערבוב צער ויגון

The whole thread is beautiful

April 14, 2020, 03:43:11 PM
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Re: Tweets, Pictures, And Videos That Are Coronavirus Related
April 19, 2020, 01:01:04 AM
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Re: POLL: Wedding expenses in the frum Community - BH for simchos? or out of hand? I guess I'll jump in...
DW and I both 22 when we got married. Actual wedding day costs 14k at the Concord al"h.  Including 1 man band $1500, flowers, hall and dinner for 350. Food was nothing to write home about but the wedding was amazing and would have been just as amazing if we got married at Sasson Vsimcha for $6000 all inclusive. (Some friends actually did). We didn't chose the hall. DW gown was borrowed, my suit was $99 JosBank clearance. After the wedding, we went straight to our very own 2.5 bedroom walk in level basement apartment in Brooklyn which we paid $1000 monthly for until we moved to Boston 7 years later.
Bedroom set was 3rd hand gift. Dining room table and chairs were purchased second hand made it all on our own and hosted all yamim tovim  the first 2 years we were married (hashem yeracheim  :) ) 7 years later we bought our own home in Boston with a 20% down payment and continued to lived in the basement of our home with  4 children bli ayin hara, while renting the top levels to replenish our savings . There are many just like us... Just doesn't make the "news" since we're just average Joe's living day to day, not millionaires but not 10s of thousands in debt... In short nothing news worthy.... This year we rented the basement and live upstairs and can finally afford our very own 14ft quarantinetrampoline in the backyard  :D

April 19, 2020, 06:51:37 PM
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