Okay, here's the updated ad, which incorporates all of your suggestions except two of them. Some sentences have been changed a bit. If any of these changes are outvoted, he'll gladly switch it back...
Questions/opinions from the designer:
1. Does ehrliche need to be capitalized?
2. While adding a website can be useful, I don't know if it's the best idea:
a. I think that getting a URL like frumcreditproject.com or something will look very professional on the ad, but then when someone visits it and it redirects to a DDMS post I think we'll lose trust at that point because presumably people would go online thinking that we're some organization with a website and info of our own, and just get redirected to someone else's article.
b. Dan's article begins with talking about how amazing points and miles are, which is a great way to start with DD people but kinda off-topic for someone who might've just seen an ad offering $10k or a tuition break for signing up for credit cards.
c. Like another DDFer said, Dan calls this "The latest scheme that people are falling for" and refers to it as a scam, which might make someone just shut it out if it's their ehrliche brother-in-law or the guy that sits in front of them at night seder.