Author Topic: Over The Top Purim Parties  (Read 6893 times)

Offline Shkop

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #90 on: March 26, 2019, 12:14:08 AM »
Even if that's true, so what? Since when did it become your job to tell someone that he shouldn't do anything to "show the world they made it" are you these people's spiritual advisor?

Yes, it is a Jew's job to tell the world to do the right thing, especially when a huge chillul Hashem is being made.
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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #91 on: March 26, 2019, 12:16:18 AM »
Yes, it is a Jew's job to tell the world to do the right thing, especially when a huge chillul Hashem is being made.
Methinks need to learn a little more and talk a little less.
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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #92 on: March 26, 2019, 12:16:51 AM »
Stop worrying about what other people spend and what other people do and start worrying about how you can be a better Jew. You will never be happy always worrying about what someone else is doing wrong as you can never fix that. When you see image problems in others take it as a mirror from above to look inward. That's what I strive to do at least when I see something that bothers me.
+1 Well said.
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Offline Shkop

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #93 on: March 26, 2019, 12:22:08 AM »
stop worrying about what other people spend and what other people do and start worrying about how you can be a better Jew.

Good point, but this thread is about the article on The Yeshiva World about people all over New York and New Jersey throwing over the top Purim parties. And a lot of people there and here agree that it's a problem. Are you saying they all these people should stop worrying about things that negatively affect the youth and just worry about themselves?

I think they should do both. They should worry about themselves and worry about issues that affect the Jewish community. It isn't mutually exclusive.
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Offline yitzgar

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #94 on: March 26, 2019, 12:25:53 AM »
I think the bottom line is that there isn't anything intrinsically wrong with making these parties. The only taanah mentioned so far is that they could've spent money better on other things, and that the motivation isn't good. But bottom line, it isn't any of our business to tell people how they should be spending their money (especially considering many spend a lot more on what even the complainers consider good), and what their motivation should be, or how they should be working on themselves.

Offline yitzgar

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #95 on: March 26, 2019, 12:27:20 AM »
Good point, but this thread is about the article on The Yeshiva World about people all over New York and New Jersey throwing over the top Purim parties. And a lot of people there and here agree that it's a problem. Are you saying they all these people should stop worrying about things that negatively affect the youth and just worry about themselves?

I think they should do both. They should worry about themselves and worry about issues that affect the Jewish community. It isn't mutually exclusive.
The parties aren't negativly affecting youth any more than a pizza shop affects youth by being open and youths hanging out there

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #96 on: March 26, 2019, 12:27:23 AM »
Good point, but this thread is about the article on The Yeshiva World about people all over New York and New Jersey throwing over the top Purim parties. And a lot of people there and here agree that it's a problem. Are you saying they all these people should stop worrying about things that negatively affect the youth and just worry about themselves?

I think they should do both. They should worry about themselves and worry about issues that affect the Jewish community. It isn't mutually exclusive.
Good deflection, but you were the ones making this about Teslas and why it's better to spend $30K on a worse car than a $30K Tesla due to "image."
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Offline Denverite

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #97 on: March 26, 2019, 12:30:18 AM »
You make a valid point. Do not judge a man until you stand in his shoes. Maybe if I made millions I would also be tempted to throw an insane 250k Purim party (or whatever it costed).

That said, I don't understand your thing about other reasons. Clearly, such people are trying to prove themselves. They want to show the world that they made it in the big leagues. Just read all the comments of the people who were actually there. So what's your point? That these guys have other reasons too? OK great.

@Shkop we can be concerned about something we see without maligning others intent.  I’m horribly guilty of that myself and try to be careful not to do it.. Many people probably may want to show that they “made it” but there can also be other positive reasons  as well. I remember being flabbergasted at one of my first Simchas I attended with my husband’s Persian family. It was a bar mitzvah that cost MANY multiples of my (very nice) wedding. I made some kind of rude comment about why they needed to waste so much money and show off to this extent, and what a horrible example they were setting for the bar mitzvah boy. One of my in-laws explained that the parents never got to have a proper wedding as they were leaving Iran as refugees and now decades later they HAD “made it” and it just made them so happy to be able to celebrate, and really share the simcha with everyone, have a huge Jewish party that the Mullahs in Iran would despise and finally get to enjoy after working so hard. Obviously, many of these kinds of events are meant to be statements but we shouldn’t assume what that statement is and we definitely shouldn’t assume it comes from a negative character trait.

Offline Shkop

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #98 on: March 26, 2019, 12:31:00 AM »
Good deflection, but you were the ones making this about Teslas and why it's better to spend $30K on a worse car than a $30K Tesla due to "image."

I only brought that up because someone else used a Tesla as an example of something purchased for image to which you argued vehemently.
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Offline Shkop

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #99 on: March 26, 2019, 12:33:54 AM »
I think the bottom line is that there isn't anything intrinsically wrong with making these parties. The only taanah mentioned so far is that they could've spent money better on other things, and that the motivation isn't good. But bottom line, it isn't any of our business to tell people how they should be spending their money (especially considering many spend a lot more on what even the complainers consider good), and what their motivation should be, or how they should be working on themselves.

I beg to differ.

Here is a small part of the letter:

One party in the Ir Hatorah of Lakewood, a party that likely cost around $250,000 (including a full band, massive tent, multiple superstar singers, tons and tons of food, open bars) caused more damage than any possible good. Taaruvos galore, with boys and girls mingling all over the nearby streets.

At a different Shul party, Hatzolah had to be there so many times it is not possible to count. One kid after the next was carried out, as children of all ages managed to get toasted on all types of hard liquor. Of course, the wonderful Baalei Batim of this Shul were writing checks while the 13 year old boys got hammered on as much liquor as they wanted.


Is there nothing intrinsically wrong with endangering kids so that Hatzolah needs to be called multiple times, boys and girls mingling, and little boys getting toasted on all types of hard liquor? I think there is a lot wrong.
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Offline Shkop

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #100 on: March 26, 2019, 12:35:30 AM »
The parties aren't negativly affecting youth any more than a pizza shop affects youth by being open and youths hanging out there

Please read the letter (assuming all points are true). I kind of am beginning to think you never actually read it...
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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #101 on: March 26, 2019, 12:35:39 AM »
I beg to differ.

Here is a small part of the letter:

One party in the Ir Hatorah of Lakewood, a party that likely cost around $250,000 (including a full band, massive tent, multiple superstar singers, tons and tons of food, open bars) caused more damage than any possible good. Taaruvos galore, with boys and girls mingling all over the nearby streets.

At a different Shul party, Hatzolah had to be there so many times it is not possible to count. One kid after the next was carried out, as children of all ages managed to get toasted on all types of hard liquor. Of course, the wonderful Baalei Batim of this Shul were writing checks while the 13 year old boys got hammered on as much liquor as they wanted.


Is there nothing intrinsically wrong with endangering kids so that Hatzolah needs to be called multiple times, boys and girls mingling, and little boys getting toasted on all types of hard liquor? I think there is a lot wrong.
Do you honestly think that's not going to happen at all if we "shut down" certain parties?
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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #102 on: March 26, 2019, 12:36:31 AM »
Please read the letter (assuming all points are true). I kind of am beginning to think you never actually read it...
You're just deluding yourself as to who and what is to blame for the kind's of behavior that the writer of the letter says is happening at these parties.
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline Definitions

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #103 on: March 26, 2019, 12:37:31 AM »
Image was literally 0% of the equation. I was perfectly happy driving around a $500 beater until it broke down

Along came a car that's a complete paradigm shift in driving. You don't need to waste time filling it up with gas imported from countries that want to destroy us. You don't need to worry about losing the key as there is no key. You don't have to worry about wasting time on oil changes and engine maintenance as those don't exist. And it's more like piloting an awesome rocketship than driving a car. And the government offered me a $7,500 handout to go green and buy it.
+1

 the moshol with the Tesla being about image is for sure not by all people.

I would gladly buy a Tesla that has a Camry shell. (as long as I like the way it looks) Nothing to do with the head turning I'd get. If anything I get more of a image boost thingy out of my current jalopy of a car due to it's uniqueness.
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Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #104 on: March 26, 2019, 12:37:38 AM »
I beg to differ.

Here is a small part of the letter:

One party in the Ir Hatorah of Lakewood, a party that likely cost around $250,000 (including a full band, massive tent, multiple superstar singers, tons and tons of food, open bars) caused more damage than any possible good. Taaruvos galore, with boys and girls mingling all over the nearby streets.

At a different Shul party, Hatzolah had to be there so many times it is not possible to count. One kid after the next was carried out, as children of all ages managed to get toasted on all types of hard liquor. Of course, the wonderful Baalei Batim of this Shul were writing checks while the 13 year old boys got hammered on as much liquor as they wanted.


Is there nothing intrinsically wrong with endangering kids so that Hatzolah needs to be called multiple times, boys and girls mingling, and little boys getting toasted on all types of hard liquor? I think there is a lot wrong.
There are plenty of inappropriate Purim parties amongst the 99% as well.. shhh
The only reason to pick on the 1% parties is because it's an easy target for the 99%.
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