Author Topic: Over The Top Purim Parties  (Read 34394 times)

Offline yandmk

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Over The Top Purim Parties
« on: March 24, 2019, 06:32:04 PM »

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2019, 06:41:54 PM »
https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/1700431/mailbag-wealthy-people-making-out-of-control-purim-parties-why-are-we-silent.html

(really might deserve it's own thread, as it's a discussion likely to turn into PC...)

What is the relevance of "wealthy people" to his point that these parties are out of control? He has valid points, but it can sure use a rewrite.
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Offline joey89

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2019, 06:45:28 PM »
What is the relevance of "wealthy people" to his point that these parties are out of control? He has valid points, but it can sure use a rewrite.
The implication is that these parties are allowed to go on for while all these terrible things are happening the “gevirrim” that are throwing these parties are writing checks to the mosdos at the party.

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2019, 06:46:22 PM »
The implication is that these parties are allowed to go on for while all these terrible things are happening the “gevirrim” that are throwing these parties are writing checks to the mosdos at the party.
And there are no Rabbis are willing to stand up to them?
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Offline yandmk

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2019, 06:49:17 PM »
What is the relevance of "wealthy people" to his point that these parties are out of control? He has valid points, but it can sure use a rewrite.
Probably because those are the ones "making" the parties. I haven't been in the NY Purim for nearly a decade, but even back then, there were many "check-writers" who were hiring one-man-bands and low scale catering with a bar, at their Purim Seudos (in their homes - no tents etc.). But I can just imagine, what it spiraled into with all the ridiculous peer pressure...

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2019, 06:49:58 PM »
Probably because those are the ones "making" the parties. I haven't been in the NY Purim for nearly a decade, but even back then, it was there were many "check-writers" who were hiring one-man-bands and low scale catering with a bar, at their Purim Seudos (in their homes - no tents etc.). But I can just imagine, what it spiraled into with all the ridiculous peer pressure...

Is there really peer-pressure to make an over the top party? That's just sad.
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Offline joey89

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2019, 06:52:00 PM »
And there are no Rabbis are willing to stand up to them?
He’s alleging that they are all on the take.

Offline yandmk

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2019, 06:52:44 PM »
Is there really peer-pressure to make an over the top party? That's just sad.
Unfortunately. Maybe someone can post the Avi Fishoff video that's running around in WhatsApp now, regarding the tens of thousands wasted because of peer pressure. I don't know how to do it.

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2019, 06:53:17 PM »
He’s alleging that they are all on the take.
Strains credulity.
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Offline joey89

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2019, 06:59:27 PM »
Strains credulity.
Agreed, however I don’t live in those circles.
On a side note Simchas Beis Hashoeva in Crown heights has some of these issues and not much is said about it either. The environment by some on the streets are very far from what the Rebbe intended.

Offline cmey

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2019, 07:03:51 PM »
And there are no Rabbis are willing to stand up to them?

They are donating several times what they spent on the party to Mosdos and the fact is that the venue is not ostensibly problematic; they aren’t promoting mixed genders interacting outside in the surrounding area any more than Chaim Berlin, which had the same issue, nor are they out to intentionally intoxicate underage bochurim. It’s likely that most of these bochurim would get their hands on alcohol at one of the hundreds of othe venues where there is limited supervision, so to ask rabbonim to condemn these specific events is tough. To condemn every venue where there is limited supervision is as useless as yair Hoffman suggesting that everyone give out Snapple....

I find the over the top indulgence and gluttony and craving for status and recognition  that are a focus at many of these events distasteful and something that Achashverosh might be more comfortable with than Mordechai but I can say the same about indulgence and gluttony  with many pesach hotel programs, and a good chunk of the DDF trip reports, so let’s keep this in perspective....


Offline Yard sale

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2019, 07:14:16 PM »
Someone from the Five Towns told me a friend of his had to get his Charcuterie Boards and meat boards from Lakewood because they haven’t yet really made it in the Five Towns but you can order them all over Lakewood. We are talking of massively sized boards that can go for hundreds of dollars. The over the top gluttony is already trickling down to the masses...

Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2019, 07:14:51 PM »
They are donating several times what they spent on the party to Mosdos and the fact is that the venue is not ostensibly problematic; they aren’t promoting mixed genders interacting outside in the surrounding area any more than Chaim Berlin, which had the same issue, nor are they out to intentionally intoxicate underage bochurim. It’s likely that most of these bochurim would get their hands on alcohol at one of the hundreds of othe venues where there is limited supervision, so to ask rabbonim to condemn these specific events is tough. To condemn every venue where there is limited supervision is as useless as yair Hoffman suggesting that everyone give out Snapple....

I find the over the top indulgence and gluttony and craving for status and recognition  that are a focus at many of these events distasteful and something that Achashverosh might be more comfortable with than Mordechai but I can say the same about indulgence and gluttony  with many pesach hotel programs, and a good chunk of the DDF trip reports, so let’s keep this in perspective....
Well said
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Offline yandmk

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2019, 07:20:33 PM »
but I can say the same about indulgence and gluttony  with many pesach hotel programs, and a good chunk of the DDF trip reports, so let’s keep this in perspective....
It's one thing to indulge oneself in flying F, Pesach programs, etc. It's another thing when the main purpose of the party is to show off just how awsome you are.... And especially when it's affecting the "ruach" of a community.

Offline Yard sale

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2019, 07:24:49 PM »
It's one thing to indulge oneself in flying F, Pesach programs, etc. It's another thing when the main purpose of the party is to show off just how awsome you are.... And especially when it's affecting the "ruach" of a community.

No different than driving a Tesla. Sure it drives nice but everyone (honest) will tell you its about the image...

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2019, 07:32:16 PM »
Why is a $30,000 car an image??
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Offline yandmk

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2019, 07:42:53 PM »
No different than driving a Tesla. Sure it drives nice but everyone (honest) will tell you its about the image...
Seems like you've never taken a stroll in BP in the high 50's - low 60's (streets).... ;D

Offline Yard sale

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2019, 07:43:50 PM »
Why is a $30,000 car an image??

I’m referring to Lakewood where people tell me that it’s a status symbol that implies being successful, avant-garde, and above the plebeian masses driving camrys. In other locals a Tesla might not count for much....

Offline Dan

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2019, 07:44:59 PM »
Sure there are Teslas that cost $130K.
But a Camry can cost more than a Model 3, so unless you know what's what and not what people tell you, that's the epitome of foolishness.
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Offline gingyguy

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Re: Over The Top Purim Parties
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2019, 07:48:47 PM »
Sure there are Teslas that cost $130K.
But a Camry can cost more than a Model 3, so unless you know what's what and not what people tell you, that's the epitome of foolishness.
quite a few people in lakewood hat made it are driving a tesla (NOT the base Model 3 ), the same way a few years ago they were driving a genesis
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.