Author Topic: PC friday question of the day.  (Read 184725 times)

Offline Definitions

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jan 2018
  • Posts: 1748
  • Total likes: 480
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #380 on: November 09, 2019, 09:36:32 PM »
Hence the recommendation to not hit. Because the message you're giving is not, "you did something wrong, and are therefore receiving a consequence."

It's, "I'm angry, and what you do when you're angry is hit people. As long as you're bigger and stronger than them. Oh, and also, this is your template of how you should view the world and all authority figures, including God."
That conclusion is slightly far fetched. It's always a matter of benefits vs risks.
חושך שבטו שונא בנו

If you have no anger control issues (which I can tell you don't) it IS reality to give a smack without it being out of anger, not talking of beating up anyone of course. In case you're really angry, then don't ever use your hands at all!

I'll take king Solomon's word rather than anyone else's.

Besides for the fact that sometimes kids are "begging" for a smack, I usually get a huge hug from them 5 minutes later.
There is another thing to keep in mind. In those days the parent child relationship was very different than today. How do I know? The way things are written seem so.
My Tapatalk notifications don't always work.

Offline mmgfarb

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Dec 2015
  • Posts: 8355
  • Total likes: 1110
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
    • View Profile
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #381 on: November 09, 2019, 09:38:15 PM »


That conclusion is slightly far fetched.
But it's not, kids pick up on way more things than you intend.

"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Online Yehuda57

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jan 2014
  • Posts: 4892
  • Total likes: 14689
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
    • Squilled
  • Location: Brooklyn
  • Programs: Official Dansdeals salad correspondent
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #382 on: November 09, 2019, 10:24:30 PM »


Quote from: Adapted from the Rebbe link=https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/147782/jewish/Punishment.htm

Sometimes you don’t know whether to punish a child or hug him. If you punish him when he needed a hug, you’ve made a serious mistake.

But if you hug him when perhaps he should have been punished, you’ve just brought some extra love into the world.


Offline CountValentine

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 15792
  • Total likes: 7320
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips -1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: Poland - Exiled
  • Programs: DAOTYA, DDF Level 3, 5K Lounge
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Online Yehuda57

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jan 2014
  • Posts: 4892
  • Total likes: 14689
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
    • Squilled
  • Location: Brooklyn
  • Programs: Official Dansdeals salad correspondent
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #384 on: November 09, 2019, 10:29:39 PM »

Offline CountValentine

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 15792
  • Total likes: 7320
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips -1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: Poland - Exiled
  • Programs: DAOTYA, DDF Level 3, 5K Lounge
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #385 on: November 09, 2019, 10:34:23 PM »
Why not?
You are trying to get a certain result, no?
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15640
  • Total likes: 7728
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #386 on: November 09, 2019, 10:51:09 PM »
You are trying to get a certain result, no?
Instant gratification?
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline CountValentine

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 15792
  • Total likes: 7320
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips -1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: Poland - Exiled
  • Programs: DAOTYA, DDF Level 3, 5K Lounge
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #387 on: November 09, 2019, 11:03:08 PM »
Instant gratification?
Save that for next Friday.  :P
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Online sguitarist18

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 1781
  • Total likes: 884
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #388 on: November 09, 2019, 11:35:14 PM »
חושך שבטו שונא בנו

I'll take king Solomon's word rather than anyone else's.

Reb Volbe gives an very different explanation of this posuk, and he's not known for being an apologist. My recollection is that a "rod" is a force encouraging growth. And whether you're spanking or hugging or giving a time out, we all agree that one way or another, we need to find ways to help our children grow. Someone who does not, does indeed hate his child.

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15640
  • Total likes: 7728
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #389 on: November 09, 2019, 11:45:39 PM »
Save that for next Friday.  :P
Fridays are too short. Friday PC is extended until 11:59pm Sunday night.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15640
  • Total likes: 7728
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #390 on: November 10, 2019, 12:25:58 PM »
As a rule, any parenting that is done for any reason but the good of the child is wrong.

Well stated.

From a little more of a Jewish perspective, I would say that our children (and להבדיל our money) are not ours, but rather Hashem's and were entrusted in our hands in order to do the absolute best with them and for them. We should constantly remember our fiduciary role to do the right thing in accordance with the wishes of the one whose children (and להבדיל money) were entrusted in our hands.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline mmgfarb

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Dec 2015
  • Posts: 8355
  • Total likes: 1110
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
    • View Profile
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #391 on: November 10, 2019, 01:30:22 PM »
Well stated.

From a little more of a Jewish perspective, I would say that our children (and להבדיל our money) are not ours, but rather Hashem's and were entrusted in our hands in order to do the absolute best with them and for them. We should constantly remember our fiduciary role to do the right thing in accordance with the wishes of the one whose children (and להבדיל money) were entrusted in our hands.
While that's a very nice thought, it is totally impractical on a day to day level for almost everyone. I would even venture to say that anyone who says that they raise their kids that way is either lying or making way too many avoidable mistakes while raising said kids.
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline CountValentine

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 15792
  • Total likes: 7320
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips -1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: Poland - Exiled
  • Programs: DAOTYA, DDF Level 3, 5K Lounge
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #392 on: November 10, 2019, 09:09:34 PM »
Can we get back to reality?
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Online ExGingi

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 15640
  • Total likes: 7728
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
  • Location: 770
  • Programs: בשורת הגאולה. From Exile to Redemption. GIYF. AAdvantage Executive Platinum®
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #393 on: November 10, 2019, 09:43:17 PM »
Can we get back to reality?
Never left it.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline yungermanchik

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Nov 2018
  • Posts: 2668
  • Total likes: 2048
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: Previous Signatures: If you chapped hana'ah from a post, like it; You think you know the answers and things are the way they seem.. it just ain't so -The Rebbe from Lublin-
Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things
BIG PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS.

Offline yeshivabucher

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2018
  • Posts: 2140
  • Total likes: 660
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
  • Location: Monsey
  • Programs: Travel Agent, Marriott Gold, Hertz PC, National EE, Uber VIP, SPG Gold

Offline yungermanchik

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Nov 2018
  • Posts: 2668
  • Total likes: 2048
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: Previous Signatures: If you chapped hana'ah from a post, like it; You think you know the answers and things are the way they seem.. it just ain't so -The Rebbe from Lublin-
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #396 on: November 14, 2019, 11:41:08 PM »
jeez couldn't wait a half hour?
Sorry @yeshivabucher , I have to go to sleep soon I'm a @yungermanchik
Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things
BIG PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS.

Offline yeshivabucher

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2018
  • Posts: 2140
  • Total likes: 660
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
  • Location: Monsey
  • Programs: Travel Agent, Marriott Gold, Hertz PC, National EE, Uber VIP, SPG Gold
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #397 on: November 14, 2019, 11:50:03 PM »

Offline CountValentine

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2013
  • Posts: 15792
  • Total likes: 7320
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips -1
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
  • Location: Poland - Exiled
  • Programs: DAOTYA, DDF Level 3, 5K Lounge
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Offline Yonah

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Silver Elite
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2014
  • Posts: 608
  • Total likes: 386
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
    • View Profile
Re: PC friday question of the day.
« Reply #399 on: November 15, 2019, 12:49:30 PM »
https://torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-how-to-deal-with-an-insolent-boy/
How is this PC? It is also dated that it came from a quote in 1995 - not sure that this was when it was actually said.

This definitely hit a chord. I probably grew up in an era where spanking started being phased out (I was in elementary school in the 80s). As the class clown and trouble maker, I was definitely hit quite a bit, starting as early as 1st grade. More so by my teachers than by my parents. Understand that spanking in schools wasn't limited to Jewish schools - many of my catholic friends have told me about their run-ins with the Ruler-wielding nuns.

This hit more of a chord, because there was one particular Rebbe who essentially followed along the lines of what R' Miller said. If you misbehaved, he'd call you up to his desk, and take out a book of tehilim (psalms) and tell you that he was reciting chapters of tehilim as a prayer that the punishment he was about to dole out was for the appropriate reasons. He'd then stand up (ask you to remove your glasses if you were wearing them) and smacked you full force across the face. Not once or twice, but at least a handful of times, sometimes more (the top 3 in the class were me and two other kids, each hit 20-25 consecutive times). He was not a small man either - he was about 6'2"-6'3" and about 220 - he wasn't fat, he was solid.

In those days, there was no ADHD, no learning disabilities, limited drugs. Kids were just lazy and slow, and if you didn't fit the square peg they tried to put you in, it was because of one of those two reasons, and they'd beat the living snot out of you until you were less lazy or a little faster. 

I'm sure that there are those of you who would argue that I was probably behaving poorly to deserve it, and that it's appropriate. But as an adult, 30+ years removed, the only thing it beat out of me was any desire to learn limudei kodesh. It took me 3 more schools to find my true love of torah. It came in my third school, not because the educators were so great, but because it was so small they had the time to answer my questions, and foster my love of learning.