Chabad Minhagim: Pros & Cons

[Dan]

(Use chad gadyo tune)

But there's no chad gadyo in chabad hagodas

[aussiebochur]

Thanks for showing appreciation to me who showed appreciation, to those who showed appreciation...

(Use chad gadyo tune)

@Dan knew it was coming, didn't know from who.

So you're the goat, dog and fire...

[SuperFlyer]

That's great, by the chad gadyo part (and even before reaching it), I'm already so badly jet lagged...

I'm seriously considering a one year membership to chabad.

Any specials going on? Coupons, groupons, woot?

[AsherO]

Any specials going on? Coupons, groupons, woot?

Carlebach is a discounted version of Chabad

[Dan]

That's great, by the chad gadyo part (and even before reaching it), I'm already so badly jet lagged...

I'm seriously considering a one year membership to chabad.

Any specials going on? Coupons, groupons, woot?

Our entire Nirtzah consists of all of 3 words.

1 year memberships for just the low low price of keeping cholov yisroel, pas yisroel, waiting 6 full hours between meat and milk, not carrying on shabbos, keeping a full 49 days of full sfira restrictions, growing a full beard, putting on 2 pairs of massive tefilin daily, wearing a kapota and gartel, not eating gebrokts on pesach...

But you do get a number of free moifsim (via ohel/igros, your selection), you don't need to worry about yoshon, you get paid travel around the world, and you can go to Hawaii on shabbos without feeling guilty about it

[SuperFlyer]

For those on DDF not familiar with the chabad membership, I did a quick search, and found the following advantages(not sure if there are different levels of memberships):

* traveling is not a waste of time, but shlichus (scoring miles in heaven).
* waking up late is good.
* no chad gadyo.
* a shuffled ma nishtana.
* no need to waste time shaving.
* leaving your shirt out of your trousers, doesn't turn you into a xeno.
* wearing a hat, but no suit does not mean that you are crazy.
* use the regular date line.
* in israel keep one day yo"t even if a chutsnik.
* if you say you will help out, you get paid tix to the other side of the world.
* you can allow you hair to be 'nazir' style, and not be called a punk.
* yarmulke color, size or material doesn't reflect your level in judaism.
* wear any color shirt.
* use chabads corp codes without fear.
* and so on....

Feel free to add your own.
Those were the first ones to come up.

[Dan]

For those on DDF not familiar with the chabad membership, I did a quick search, and found the following advantages(not sure if there are different levels of memberships):

* traveling is not a waste of time, but shlichus (scoring miles in heaven).
* waking up late is good.
* no chad gadyo.
* a shuffled ma nishtana.
* no need to waste time shaving.
* leaving your shirt out of your trousers, doesn't turn you into a xeno.
* wearing a hat, but no suit does not mean that you are crazy.
* use the regular date line.
* in israel keep one day yo"t even if a chutsnik.
* if you say you will help out, you get paid tix to the other side of the world.
* you can allow you hair to be 'nazir' style, and not be called a punk.
* yarmulke color, size or material doesn't reflect your level in judaism.
* wear any color shirt.
* use chabads corp codes without fear.
* and so on....

Feel free to add your own.
Those were the first ones to come up.

ROFL, not bad for a non-lubab!

I think I've taken advantage of all of those benefits at some point

There are elite levels, unfortunately they are just gezhe or marrying a head shliach's child.
No status matching either.

[SuperFlyer]

cholov yisroel and pas yisroel I keep anyhow, waiting 6 full hours between meat and milk I also do, not carrying on shabbos, not even where a natural eiruv exist? No way, keeping a full 49 days of full sfira restrictions - the worst part is the shaving which you keep 120 years, or longer, depending if the the next generations keep up with the tehillim, putting on 2 pairs of massive tefilin daily- not sure why 2 are needed, but going on an award tix and wearing tfilin, will remove you from the flight, and after re'educating the crew, they make you a new tix which is full fare, wearing a kapota and gartel -much easier then choosing a suit and a tie, not eating gebrokts on pesach-nor do I.

But you do get a number of free igros koidesh- it works also on non-lubs.

Still convinced chabad is the way to go.

[SuperFlyer]

Just looked into this kappote thing: 2 buttons in the back, one for the volume, and the other one for the channel, I'm loving it.

Is there some kind of adapter to attach the ipod to it?

[Dan]

Just looked into this kappote thing: 2 buttons in the back, one for the volume, and the other one for the channel, I'm loving it.

Is there some kind of adapter to attach the ipod to it?

You should see the one I made in Hong Kong!

Here's a good video from Heshy Fried at FrumSatire:
http://www.frumsatire.net/2009/05/17/anti-chabad-comedy-video/

His posts on Chabad are usually hysterical!

[SuperFlyer]

Here's a good video from Heshy Fried at FrumSatire:
http://www.frumsatire.net/2009/05/17/anti-chabad-comedy-video/

His posts on Chabad are usually hysterical!

yes, very funny

[Avid Reader]

This is hilarious!

There are elite levels, unfortunately they are just gezhe or marrying a head shliach's child.
No status matching either.

You left out money...

[moish]

rofl

[Dan]

yes, very funny

In case you wish to read other funny/interesting posts by Heshy on his take about Chabad before joining our cult

http://www.frumsatire.net/2007/01/27/lubavitchers-are-the-coolest-chasids-thats-why-many-frum-folks-hate-them/

http://www.frumsatire.net/2010/04/14/stuff-chabad-likes/

http://www.frumsatire.net/2009/02/15/an-insiders-guide-to-chabad/

http://www.frumsatire.net/2011/01/24/even-non-jews-think-chabad-girls-are-hot/

http://www.frumsatire.net/2010/09/07/what-do-chabad-secular-jews-and-settlers-all-have-in-common/

http://www.frumsatire.net/2010/03/10/i-love-chabad/

http://www.frumsatire.net/2010/11/04/guide-to-chabad-kiruv-its-a-love-and-hate-thing/

[SuperFlyer]

I'm sorry it took so long to check your satire email.

I'm convinced.

Where do I sign up?

[Avid Reader]

Before you join, make sure you're aware of the more difficult parts of being a Chabad, for example eating in the Succah even when it's pouring rain.

[SuperFlyer]

Before you join, make sure you're aware of the more difficult parts of being a Chabad, for example eating in the Succah even when it's pouring rain.

nah, lubs are anti sukka, u cant catch me with this one, and I paid $30 via groupon, for a permanent laser hair removal of the beard.

[Dan]

nah, lubs are anti sukka, u cant catch me with this one, and I paid $30 via groupon, for a permanent laser hair removal of the beard.

Lol...
We're anti sleeping in the sukkah, but even if it's shmini atzreres and it's pouring rain we'll still be eating in it...

And the groupon deal is fine, as long as you walk around with a laser all day long.  (See also: The story about the beard removal powder)

[SuperFlyer]

Lol...
We're anti sleeping in the sukkah, but even if it's shmini atzreres and it's pouring rain we'll still be eating in it...

And the groupon deal is fine, as long as you walk around with a laser all day long.  (See also: The story about the beard removal powder)

where is this removal powder story?

where do I sign up?

do you benefit if i use your link?

[Avid Reader]

do you benefit if i use your link?

I also must warn you, if you become Chabad you stand the risk of losing certain friends. Steve2 comes to mind...