Chabad Minhagim: Pros & Cons

[MeirS]

?

I apologize if I sound a little arrogant. But, hey, you asked for an explanation.

As a Lubavitcher, this sounds like something just from the books. Some of us don't realize that some people are actually perfectly comfortable eating a full meal indoors in such circumstances.

(A Lubavitcher would go to a Sukkah for a drink of water in WAY more inclement weather.)

[rileywiles23]

Why do chabadniks go to cemeteries before getting engaged ?

[Achas Veachas]

Why do chabadniks go to The Ohel before getting engaged ?

FTFY?
Never heard of Chabdniks going to any other cemetery before getting engaged (unless one of them has a deceased parent or something).

So to answer that question, it was always the custom to get the Rebbe's Brachah before a Shidduch (surely this isn't unique to Chabad?). Since 3 Tammuz 5754 the Ohel is where Lubavitchers go for the Rebbe's Brachos.

[ckmk47]

The new choson and Kallah go as well as their parents and often grandparents and siblings. They make a l'chaim, call their close friends and relatives and take a few pictures - hence the 'cemetery pictures'.  Although at the Ohel there's a big 'tent' - corrugated metal building right outside the cemetery where the festivities take place.

[skyguy918]

What about going to 770 by the wedding? What do they do there exactly, the chuppah?

[lubaby]

What about going to 770 by the wedding? What do they do there exactly, the chuppah?

That.

[skyguy918]

That.

And why 770 vs the Ohel for that?

[lubaby]

And why 770 vs the Ohel for that?

With a wedding being in Crown Heights, it would be a major hassle to take everybody to the Ohel for that.

Also, in the early years, the Rebbe was Mesader Kidushin by lots of weddings. So the Chupah was held in front of 770, so that the Rebbe took the least time getting there.

Now, people want to be as close to the Rebbe as possible, so they do it in the same place as when the Rebbe was there.

[ExGingi]

What about going to 770 by the wedding? What do they do there exactly, the chuppah?

I don't have the exact מראה מקום at the moment, but since a wedding has two parts, the חלק הרוחני which includes the Kabolas Ponim and the Chupah, and then the חלק הגשמי which is the Seuda and Simchas Chosson Kallah, there is an emphasis to keep the חלק הרוחני in the ד' אמות of Yeshiva (whenever possible).

[MeirS]

The new choson and Kallah go as well as their parents and often grandparents and siblings. They make a l'chaim, call their close friends and relatives and take a few pictures - hence the 'cemetery pictures'.  Although at the Ohel there's a big 'tent' - corrugated metal building right outside the cemetery where the festivities take place.

I'll have to comment here.

Almost all new Chabad couples who find themselves in proximity to the ohel (and some from further away) will only announce their engagement after asking for a Brocho at the ohel.
Most go with there parents.
Some go with headboards and siblings too.
Many will say a small L'Chaim on their way out the door.
Calling close friends and taking pictures is definitely not part of the "custom" although that's usually what can be expected when a couple announces their engagement.

In short, in my experience and understanding it's not as much of a ceremony as ckmk47 makes it sound but it does take place.

[churnbabychurn]

Not very romantic..
Just sayin

[Dr Moose]

Why do chabadniks go to cemeteries before getting engaged ?

I've also noticed that as well on SimchaSpot, till someone mentioned it was at the rebbe's kever.

[Yehuda57]

I don't have the exact מראה מקום at the moment, but since a wedding has two parts, the חלק הרוחני which includes the Kabolas Ponim and the Chupah, and then the חלק הגשמי which is the Seuda and Simchas Chosson Kallah, there is an emphasis to keep the חלק הרוחני in the ד' אמות of Yeshiva (whenever possible).

IINM - (one of) the source(s) is a letter from the Frierdiker Rebbe to R' Moshe and Chaya Mushka Horenstein, explaining why the Rebbe and Rebbetzin's wedding would take place in Warsaw even though the Frierdiker Rebbe was living in Riga at the time. He writes that if the chelek ruchni of the wedding (badeken and chupah) take place in Tomchei Temimim, it will be as if it was happening in the city of Lubavitch.

[schneury]

IINM - (one of) the source(s) is a letter from the Frierdiker Rebbe to R' Moshe and Chaya Mushka Horenstein, explaining why the Rebbe and Rebbetzin's wedding would take place in Warsaw even though the Frierdiker Rebbe was living in Riga at the time. He writes that if the chelek ruchni of the wedding (badeken and chupah) take place in Tomchei Temimim, it will be as if it was happening in the city of Lubavitch.

The rebbe spoke about it on 14 Kislev 1954

[Yehuda57]

Not very romantic..
Just sayin

You know, for someone who is often railing against those who value modernity over a more traditional Yiddishkeit, I might think you would appreciate people valuing the solemnity and holiness of an upcoming marriage over vacuous romantic expression. Oh wait, it's Chabad people. Never mind.

#justsaying

[ExGingi]

The Rebbe spoke about it on 14 Kislev 1954

FTFY

[ExGingi]

When asked about a Shidduch, the Rebbe (when approving) commonly answered with a variation of one of the following נוסחאות:

• באם החליטו שניהם, הוא וכן המדוברת תי' לייסד ביתם בישראל על יסודי התורה והמצוה בחיי היום יומים, יהי רצון שיהי' בשעה טובה ומוצלחת ולבנין בית בישראל בנין עדי עד.
• בטח החליטו שניהם הוא וכן המדוברת תי' לייסד ביתם בישראל על יסודי התורה והמצוה בחיי היום יומים

And for a Chasuna the blessing usually contained the phrase: יבנו בית בישראל בנין עדי עד על יסודי התורה והמצוה כפי שהם מוארים במאור שבתורה זוהי תורת החסידות

So what kind of "romantic" expression would you expect to go along with such a החלטה, and such a בית בישראל?

[churnbabychurn]

You know, for someone who is often railing against those who value modernity over a more traditional Yiddishkeit, I might think you would appreciate people valuing the solemnity and holiness of an upcoming marriage over vacuous romantic expression. Oh wait, it's Chabad people. Never mind.

#justsaying

+1
Couldn't have said it better myself. - seriously.

I was JK but I guess it didn't go over well.

[mgarfin]

What about going to 770 by the wedding? What do they do there exactly, the chuppah?

With a wedding being in Crown Heights, it would be a major hassle to take everybody to the Ohel for that.

Also, in the early years, the Rebbe was Mesader Kidushin by lots of weddings. So the Chupah was held in front of 770, so that the Rebbe took the least time getting there.

Now, people want to be as close to the Rebbe as possible, so they do it in the same place as when the Rebbe was there.

Any why does the wedding invitation have an wrong time (5PM?)? (I that the time the Rebbe got married)

[Yehuda57]

+1
Couldn't have said it better myself. - seriously.

I was JK but I guess it didn't go over well.

Fair enough. For obvious reasons, it IS something that is joked about often, and had the comment come from almost anyone else, I would have assumed it to be a joke.

P.S. Jokes usually end with a  or
P.P.S. Ending with "just saying" is like starting with "no disrespect, but..." or "I don't mean to offend you, but..."