Chabad Minhagim: Pros & Cons

[ckmk47]

+1
Couldn't have said it better myself. - seriously.

I was JK but I guess it didn't go over well.

Romantics do a proposal too.  Although its "Will you come to the Ohel with me?" 

[Yehuda57]

Romantics do a proposal too.  Although its "Will you come to the Ohel with me?" 

In the '70s, my father's romantic proposal was "Do you want to write in?"

[MeirS]

Any why does the wedding invitation have an wrong time (5PM?)? (I that the time the Rebbe got married)

The simple uneducated answer is that that's the way it was on the Rebbe's invitation.

What isn't as well know is that the Rebbe's chuppah was actually much later, (I think around 9 [although I don't know if anyone claims to know if that was the plan or just the way it happened]). There is something to the שעה החמישית al pi kabalah, and that's the reason why we are taught to write it that way.

[ExGingi]

Any why does the wedding invitation have an wrong time (5PM?)? (I that the time the Rebbe got married)

See: http://www.he.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2988859/jewish/-.htm

יב. בנוסח ההזמנה של החתונה – נוסח ההזמנה לחתונתו של הרבי, ובמילא כן הוא גם בנוסח ההזמנה ששלח הרבי לחתונת בנותיו ("זיינע קינדער'ס חתונה") – הי' כתוב זמן החופה בשעה החמישית בערב.

הן כשהיתה החתונה בחורף והן כשהיתה החתונה בקיץ – כתבו תמיד זמן החופה בשעה החמישית בערב.

החופה עצמה נערכה אמנם בלילה

– בחתונתי נערכה החופה בשעה מאוחרת ביותר ("גאָר שפּעט"), בגלל טעם חיצוני –

אבל ה"קבלת פנים" – דייקו שתתחיל בשעה החמישית

[ExGingi]

I honestly was just curious as chabad is stricter than most about not listening to music the entire sefirah it seemed surprising they would make a concert with live music (a keyboard).  When I saw it advertised I was sure it would be just singing.
Either way I feel that my tone is coming across like באתי לקנטר ח״ו and that is truly not my intention so I Apologize.

Question might be a little dated, but I just came across this: http://forumharav.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=442

[zh cohen]

With a wedding being in Crown Heights, it would be a major hassle to take everybody to the Ohel for that.

Also, in the early years, the Rebbe was Mesader Kidushin by lots of weddings. So the Chupah was held in front of 770, so that the Rebbe took the least time getting there.

Now, people want to be as close to the Rebbe as possible, so they do it in the same place as when the Rebbe was there.

The reason people continued to do the chuppah outside 770 even after the Rebbe stopped being Mesaser Kiddushin, was so that the Rebbe would hear the brachos and (presumably) say Amen.

[gozalim]

The reason people continued to do the chuppah outside 770 even after the Rebbe stopped being Mesaser Kiddushin, was so that the Rebbe would hear the brachos and (presumably) say Amen.

I believe he implied something to that effect when he first stopped. Not necessarily amen specifically but spiritual involvement...

[ExGingi]

The reason people continued to do the chuppah outside 770 even after the Rebbe stopped being Mesaser Kiddushin, was so that the Rebbe would hear the brachos and (presumably) say Amen.

IINM in early years the Rebbe participated also in other parts (probably Kabolas Ponim) as evidenced by pictures. I don't believe those took place in 770, but I might be wrong.

The reasoning for what various people did, should not be asserted with a blanket statement. My guess is that a huge majority of people just do it because that's what everybody else does.

I think there are very few people that choose the venue of different parts of the Chasuna based on thought out reasoning.

[MeirS]

The reasoning for what various people did, should not be asserted with a blanket statement. My guess is that a huge majority of people just do it because that's what everybody else does.

I think there are very few people that choose the venue of different parts of the Chasuna based on thought out reasoning.

You just wrote against making blanket statements and then went ahead and made a huge blanket statement.

[Achas Veachas]

IINM in early years the Rebbe participated also in other parts (probably Kabolas Ponim) as evidenced by pictures. I don't believe those took place in 770, but I might be wrong.

The reasoning for what various people did, should not be asserted with a blanket statement. My guess is that a huge majority of people just do it because that's what everybody else does.

I think there are very few people that choose the venue of different parts of the Chasuna based on thought out reasoning.

IINM mistaken that was only before the Nesius.

It might have continued a bit after (have to look up Mekadesh Yisrael), but I'm pretty sure it was the Rebbe who insisted at one point that he'll only be Mesader Kiddushin in 770 because of the water of time involved.

[jj1000]

I couldn't do a 770 wedding because I'd have flashbacks in the yichud room to labkosvky smicha fahers

[ExGingi]

I couldn't do a 770 wedding because I'd have flashbacks in the yichud room to labkosvky smicha fahers

That's a strong statement. But I think one or two sessions with a good therapist might have resolved that.

[jj1000]

That's a strong statement. But I think one or two sessions with a good therapist might have resolved that.

Ok, also being married already has to do with the strong statment

[schneury]

I couldn't do a 770 wedding because I'd have flashbacks in the yichud room to labkosvky smicha fahers

you could try to get dovid raskins room

[ExGingi]

Ok, also being married already has to do with the strong statment

I don't know you (other than some rough interactions we've had on DDF ) so that statement just flies past me without understanding what you're talking about.

[ExGingi]

you could try to get dovid raskins room

That's reserved for 7 generation pure gezhe 

[MeirS]

IINM mistaken that was only before the Nesius.

It might have continued a bit after (have to look up Mekadesh Yisrael), but I'm pretty sure it was the Rebbe who insisted at one point that he'll only be Mesader Kiddushin in 770 because of the water of time involved.

There were different stages where at different points the Rebbe added different conditions. There was one point where the Rebbe added that the chuppah had to be in front of 770 in order for him to be mesader kiddushin. Later the Rebbe said he would only do it if the Chosaon committed to growing a beard and the Kallah to wearing a sheitel, and later it was only for those couples who agreed to go on Shlichus and eventually it stopped altogether.

[ExGingi]

There were different stages where at different points the Rebbe added different conditions. There was one point where the Rebbe added that the chuppah had to be in front of 770 in order for him to be mesader kiddushin. Later the Rebbe said he would only do it if the Chosaon committed to growing a beard and the Kallah to wearing a sheitel, and later it was only for those couples who agreed to go on Shlichus and eventually it stopped altogether.

I always thought that the beard and shaitel condition was there from day 1.

Also, tell anyone without any Lubavitch background about the distance between the place the Chupah took place and the Seudah / Simchas Chosson Kallah took place the last time the Rebbe was מסדר קידושין, and they simply won't get it. (להבדיל, almost like Goyim cannot get what a Yiddishe life is all about).

[ckmk47]

One other interesting Chabad wedding minhag:
In other weddings, after the chupah, the couple is walked to the yichud room.  The eidim check out the room, and leave and the couple goes in and locks everyone out.
By Lubavitch, the parents and others walk the couple to the yichud room.  Someone puts a silver spoon down in the doorway, and the couple steps over it to go in. Then the parents enter and give the couple something to eat. (Whoever is in charge of the chossons 'Rebbe shirt' takes it off the chosson and takes it away.) There's so much mazal toving,that sometimes the mesader starts shooing people out so yichud can start.

[schneury]

I always thought that the beard and shaitel condition was there from day 1.

+1