Author Topic: COVID-19 Related Humor  (Read 39751 times)

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #60 on: March 24, 2020, 11:25:49 PM »
So this thread is basically the same as the other one, except you steal the jokes and post them in your name?

Offline good sam

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #61 on: March 24, 2020, 11:26:33 PM »
Just because the person is worse does not mean it isn't true.
Nobody is taking medical advise from him. And how the heck is that helpful anyway? What good has she done? She's exposing herself for the loser she is
If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline CountValentine

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #62 on: March 24, 2020, 11:28:20 PM »
Nobody is taking medical advise from him. And how the heck is that helpful anyway? What good has she done? She's exposing herself for the loser she is
Its a joke. See the title of the thread.  ::)
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Offline CountValentine

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #63 on: March 24, 2020, 11:29:05 PM »
So this thread is basically the same as the other one, except you steal the jokes and post them in your name?
You talking to me?
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Offline Yehuda57

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #64 on: March 24, 2020, 11:29:45 PM »
You talking to me?
If the shoe fits, it's not @Something Fishy's

Offline CountValentine

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #65 on: March 24, 2020, 11:31:16 PM »
If the shoe fits, it's not @Something Fishy's
You didn't see the quotation marks? I purposely didn't post the name because I new what would happen.
Only on DDF does 24/6 mean 24/5/half/half

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #66 on: March 24, 2020, 11:33:47 PM »
You didn't see the quotation marks? I purposely didn't post the name because I new what would happen.
I know, I know, it wasn't directed at you.
But...

https://twitter.com/GPollowitz/status/1242489788529283073

Offline yesitsme

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #67 on: March 25, 2020, 02:38:40 AM »

Offline yesitsme

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #68 on: March 25, 2020, 02:50:15 AM »
Don't forget to make a Brocho Achrona before you go to sleep
["-"]

Offline yos9694

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #69 on: March 25, 2020, 10:23:27 AM »


This act now carries a charge of terrorist threat, so the free test also comes with free room and board.

Offline CountValentine

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #70 on: March 25, 2020, 10:24:43 AM »
...so the free test also comes with free room and board.
Can it get any better?  :)
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Offline joe1234

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #71 on: March 25, 2020, 02:12:56 PM »
This act now carries a charge of terrorist threat, so the free test also comes with free room and board.
That’s what we are all experiencing now... except there it’s board, here we are really bored....

Offline aygart

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #72 on: March 25, 2020, 02:21:07 PM »
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline ExGingi

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #73 on: March 26, 2020, 11:22:24 AM »
Youngest recorded casualty (death) from COVID-19: Israeli political list B&W. Succumbed today in its fight for survival.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline mme

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #74 on: March 26, 2020, 06:59:30 PM »
with the end of the zman here there's a bachur in a dira somewhere in yerushalayim who just rolled out of bed and opened the tris for the first time since purim night and is wondering where the heck everyone is.....

Offline S209

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #75 on: March 26, 2020, 07:02:27 PM »
To compensate for missing English, some fine bochurim have taken upon themselves to sit in a room for two hours each afternoon and do nothing
Quote from: YitzyS
Quotes in a signature is annoying, as it comes across as an independent post.

Offline Savingsbeast

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #76 on: March 26, 2020, 09:14:11 PM »
כולנו גור:
פרישות יתירה לא נותנים ידים ולא נושקים..
כולנו ברסלב:
מתבודדים..
כולנו באבוב:
רוחצים כל היום בבורית..
כולנו אמשינוב:
מתפללים מאוחר זמן מאד..
כולנו סקולען:
מנגנים..
כולנו סאטמער:
רק הולכים על ה'פארטש..
כולנו פרענקן:
מתפללים כל היום בקראקס אצל הכותל..
כולנו חב"ד:
צועקים משיח נאו..
כולנו תימן:
כל היום בבגדי לילה..
כולנו ווערעצקי:
משוגעים ביותר..
כולנו לאשאנץ, יארמע, חאצאצק, פעסט:
כל היום אומרים בדחנות..
כולנו רבנים:
כמעט לא הולכים..
כולנו בנש"ק'ים:
לא עובדים..

Sorry CountValentine, I would translate it but without understanding the nuances it becomes meaningless.

Offline etech0

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #77 on: March 26, 2020, 09:16:54 PM »
https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=auto&tl=en&text=%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%92%D7%95%D7%A8%3A%0A%D7%A4%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%AA%20%D7%99%D7%AA%D7%99%D7%A8%D7%94%20%D7%9C%D7%90%20%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%A0%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%99%D7%93%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%90%20%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A9%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%9D..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%91%D7%A8%D7%A1%D7%9C%D7%91%3A%0A%D7%9E%D7%AA%D7%91%D7%95%D7%93%D7%93%D7%99%D7%9D..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%91%D7%90%D7%91%D7%95%D7%91%3A%0A%D7%A8%D7%95%D7%97%D7%A6%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%9B%D7%9C%20%D7%94%D7%99%D7%95%D7%9D%20%D7%91%D7%91%D7%95%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%AA..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%91%3A%0A%D7%9E%D7%AA%D7%A4%D7%9C%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%9E%D7%90%D7%95%D7%97%D7%A8%20%D7%96%D7%9E%D7%9F%20%D7%9E%D7%90%D7%93..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%A1%D7%A7%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A2%D7%9F%3A%0A%D7%9E%D7%A0%D7%92%D7%A0%D7%99%D7%9D..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%A1%D7%90%D7%98%D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%A8%3A%0A%D7%A8%D7%A7%20%D7%94%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%9B%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%A2%D7%9C%20%D7%94'%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%A8%D7%98%D7%A9..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%A4%D7%A8%D7%A2%D7%A0%D7%A7%D7%9F%3A%0A%D7%9E%D7%AA%D7%A4%D7%9C%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%9B%D7%9C%20%D7%94%D7%99%D7%95%D7%9D%20%D7%91%D7%A7%D7%A8%D7%90%D7%A7%D7%A1%20%D7%90%D7%A6%D7%9C%20%D7%94%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%9C..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%97%D7%91%22%D7%93%3A%0A%D7%A6%D7%95%D7%A2%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%9E%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%97%20%D7%A0%D7%90%D7%95..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%AA%D7%99%D7%9E%D7%9F%3A%0A%D7%9B%D7%9C%20%D7%94%D7%99%D7%95%D7%9D%20%D7%91%D7%91%D7%92%D7%93%D7%99%20%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%9C%D7%94..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%95%D7%95%D7%A2%D7%A8%D7%A2%D7%A6%D7%A7%D7%99%3A%0A%D7%9E%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%92%D7%A2%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%91%D7%99%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%A8..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%9C%D7%90%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%A0%D7%A5%2C%20%D7%99%D7%90%D7%A8%D7%9E%D7%A2%2C%20%D7%97%D7%90%D7%A6%D7%90%D7%A6%D7%A7%2C%20%D7%A4%D7%A2%D7%A1%D7%98%3A%0A%D7%9B%D7%9C%20%D7%94%D7%99%D7%95%D7%9D%20%D7%90%D7%95%D7%9E%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D%20%D7%91%D7%93%D7%97%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%AA..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%A8%D7%91%D7%A0%D7%99%D7%9D%3A%0A%D7%9B%D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%98%20%D7%9C%D7%90%20%D7%94%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%9B%D7%99%D7%9D..%0A%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%95%20%D7%91%D7%A0%D7%A9%22%D7%A7'%D7%99%D7%9D%3A%0A%D7%9C%D7%90%20%D7%A2%D7%95%D7%91%D7%93%D7%99%D7%9D..
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #78 on: March 26, 2020, 09:22:33 PM »
כולנו גור:
פרישות יתירה לא נותנים ידים ולא נושקים..
כולנו ברסלב:
מתבודדים..
כולנו באבוב:
רוחצים כל היום בבורית..
כולנו אמשינוב:
מתפללים מאוחר זמן מאד..
כולנו סקולען:
מנגנים..
כולנו סאטמער:
רק הולכים על ה'פארטש..
כולנו פרענקן:
מתפללים כל היום בקראקס אצל הכותל..
כולנו חב"ד:
צועקים משיח נאו..
כולנו תימן:
כל היום בבגדי לילה..
כולנו ווערעצקי:
משוגעים ביותר..
כולנו לאשאנץ, יארמע, חאצאצק, פעסט:
כל היום אומרים בדחנות..
כולנו רבנים:
כמעט לא הולכים..
כולנו בנש"ק'ים:
לא עובדים..

Sorry CountValentine, I would translate it but without understanding the nuances it becomes meaningless.
Each line lists a different chasidic sect and says "We are all [sect] because [stereotype associated with sect that is mimicked today]"

Offline ExGingi

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Re: COVID-19 Related Humor
« Reply #79 on: March 26, 2020, 09:30:57 PM »
Each line lists a different chasidic sect and says "We are all [sect] because [stereotype associated with sect that is mimicked today]"

Cheap cop out of someone too lazy to properly translate.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan