POLL: Wedding expenses in the frum Community - BH for simchos? or out of hand?

[justaregularguy]

I think it’s consistent with all the lavish luxuries we have today in all our communities no? If ur gonna spend money , at least for a religious item It’s a nice idea. Yeah they might feel princely wearing it we all do with our chatchkes

My only concern is I wish people wouldn’t be pressured into fitting in when they can’t economically. I hope there’s a sense of self worth in people to live a life they decide and not dictated by the trends. That would be wonderful wouldn’t it?

[lubaby]

A hat cost 4k?

I don't know your background but afaik its only satmer Monroe were the chasanim take a $1,200 shtreiml, all other places are minimum $2,500 just for the regular shtreiml

[yaakov35]

I don't know your background but afaik its only satmer Monroe were the chasanim take a $1,200 shtreiml, all other places are minimum $2,500 just for the regular shtreiml
i

2500? For a regular? Thats very low end. U can't get אפען for under 4k

[yesitsme]

A hat cost 4k?

you might get it for cheaper in bingo

I was was once walking with a shtriemel in the box on a friday, a lady (jew-ta) comes over
"oh were did you get that nice barrel"

[EliJelly]

No chuson will buy a Bingo shtreimel. Bingo shtreimel is for the summer house, so one thing less to schlep.

[moko]

BH that the Lubavitcher Rebbe went with a black hat!

unfortunately it was a borsalino...

[cmey]

unfortunately it was a borsalino...

Could be worse. He could have driven a Range Rover or Model S

[flyingace]

I think it’s consistent with all the lavish luxuries we have today in all our communities no? If ur gonna spend money , at least for a religious item It’s a nice idea. Yeah they might feel princely wearing it we all do with our chatchkes

My only concern is I wish people wouldn’t be pressured into fitting in when they can’t economically. I hope there’s a sense of self worth in people to live a life they decide and not dictated by the trends. That would be wonderful wouldn’t it?

Isn't this what Rabbi Wachsman was talking about in his shmooze at the beginning? We have lost our perspective and our Yiddishkeit has become very gashmiusdik.

[aygart]

I think it’s consistent with all the lavish luxuries we have today in all our communities no? If ur gonna spend money , at least for a religious item It’s a nice idea. Yeah they might feel princely wearing it we all do with our chatchkes

My only concern is I wish people wouldn’t be pressured into fitting in when they can’t economically. I hope there’s a sense of self worth in people to live a life they decide and not dictated by the trends. That would be wonderful wouldn’t it?

How is a fur hat a religious item?

[EliJelly]

How is a fur hat a religious item?

The fact that one will schlep it along to the North and South Poles should give you the concept for the importance of that malbush for a chassid. With that being said, it definitely not in klal of זה אלי ואנוהו- התנאה לפניו במצוות, so spending $8k on one still has no excuse.

[fineguy]

I wonder what's worse from a religious perspective:

Spending excessive money on a religious-type article to show off = May show one appreciates important things, but can also cheapen the religious element by making it materialistic
Spending excessively on a non-religious item = Demonstrates ones priorities are off, but at least isn't in the religious sphere.

highly expensive striemel/menorah/atara vs Tesla/Volvo/Lexus

[justaregularguy]

I wonder what's worse from a religious perspective:

Spending excessive money on a religious-type article to show off = May show one appreciates important things, but can also cheapen the religious element by making it materialistic
Spending excessively on a non-religious item = Demonstrates ones priorities are off, but at least isn't in the religious sphere.

highly expensive striemel/menorah/atara vs Tesla/Volvo/Lexus

ive always believed if ur willing to spend money on a Volvo / lexus then spend the same proportion for a mitzvah.

[Sam Finkelstein]

I never had a problem with people enjoying their money. Problem is when it’s done to be ostentatious.

(On the same note, I’d be embarrassed to have a luxury car or palatial home in my neighborhood.)

[flyingace]

ive always believed if ur willing to spend money on a Volvo / lexus then spend the same proportion for a mitzvah.

Agreed. But the danger in spending it on religious items is that one can fool oneself into thinking he's doing a good thing. The Kotzker used to say he prefers a rasha who knows he's a rasha to a tzaddik who knows he's a tzaddik.

[haltkup]

Agreed. But the danger in spending it on religious items is that one can fool oneself into thinking he's doing a good thing. The Kotzker used to say he prefers a rasha who knows he's a rasha to a tzaddik who knows he's a tzaddik.

ive always believed if ur willing to spend money on a Volvo / lexus then spend the same proportion for a mitzvah.

Rabbi Wachsman once repeated the following story about the Bardichever Rebbi ZTL how he did not go to Kol nidrei till his gabbai came a few hours later and whispered into his ears the dog cost 10K rubel. The Bardichever smiled and started davening with a bren.
He explained that a few months earlier a poor Melamed toiled a full year to collect 10K rubel to marry off his daughter and on the way home he stopped over in an inn where it was stolen. In the morning the poor person started wailing and a rich nobelman who gave tzoros to local yidden overheard the commotion and out of mercy he gave the Melamed the entire amount. The good deed  caused a huge raash in shamaim and kitrig on the yidden cv. The Bardichevir learned that the nobelman had a hobby of collecting various breeds of dogs and happened to buy a dog on erev yom kippur at a local auction. He asked the gabbai to investigate the transaction. When the gabbai told the bardichever that the price was 10K rubel, the rebbi got excited and explained that his good deed is only worth a dog. He  does not value money and therefore the 10K for a poor man was just another one of his frivoulus items he spends on for his own pleasures.

[Chapshnell]

No chuson will buy a Bingo shtreimel. Bingo shtreimel is for the summer house, so one thing less to schlep.

exactly.. Anyone saying that they know people buying $1,200-$2,500 shtreimlech are in the minority. Krauss, Miller etc etc for a chasan is MINIMUM MINIMUM $4k & most likely closer to $5,500.
Which is ridiculous.. this has nothing to do with chasidus, on the contrary. I'll bet you if any big rebbe from the past would have an opportunity to wear a $5k streimel or give away the $5kl for tzeduka they would probably do that & wear a hat.

[EliJelly]

exactly.. Anyone saying that they know people buying $1,200-$2,500 shtreimlech are in the minority. Krauss, Miller etc etc for a chasan is MINIMUM MINIMUM $4k & most likely closer to $5,500.
Which is ridiculous.. this has nothing to do with chasidus, on the contrary. I'll bet you if any big rebbe from the past would have an opportunity to wear a $5k streimel or give away the $5kl for tzeduka they would probably do that & wear a hat $500 shtreimel.

Ftfy.
Fyi, as per my nephew who just got married, base price for nice Kraus and Miller chusson shtreimel as of 2 months ago was $6k with upgrades running to 8k!

[yeshivabucher]

Ftfy.
Fyi, as per my nephew who just got married, base price for nice Kraus and Miller chusson shtreimel as of 2 months ago was $6k with upgrades running to 8k!

jeez at this rate its going to cost more then my wedding

[EliJelly]

jeez at this rate its going to cost more then my wedding

Not even funny

Talking of the shtreimel, the weird thing is now with so many takana chassuna halls, the shtreimel cost is almost as much as the entire chassuna night.

[Kobe Bryant]

Ftfy.
Fyi, as per my nephew who just got married, base price for nice Kraus and Miller chusson shtreimel as of 2 months ago was $6k with upgrades running to 8k!

Almost as much as some people spent on linen, not sure which is worse?