POLL: Wedding expenses in the frum Community - BH for simchos? or out of hand?

[tzifanya54]

What would you say constitutes middle class in the frum community? What income bracket?

[MoYS]

read the bubble. The husband is going crazy, which does not sound so high income to me.

It says they have a $600,000 annual income. Unless theres a typo... maybe an extra 0

[Euclid]

What would you say constitutes middle class in the frum community? What income bracket?

I think $600k with 7 kids is upper middle class/"well todo"

[Euclid]

The middle class always gets the raw end.

I always thought middle class (income wise) is the median in Lakewood. I'm starting to think otherwise

[tzifanya54]

I think $600k with 7 kids is upper middle class/"well todo"

I agree, I think even a lot lower than that would be well off, so hence the question, what low to high bracket in dollars, would you say is considered middle class in the “in town” communities?

[Dan]

Bound to happen when the deciding factor is peer pressure.

Something is seriously wrong.

[aygart]

I think $600k with 7 kids is upper middle class/"well todo"

I always thought middle class (income wise) is the median in Lakewood. I'm starting to think otherwise

Class seems to be more about who one considers to be the peers that pressure them rather than income

[tzifanya54]

Class seems to be more about who one considers to be the peers that pressure them rather than income

Who in all likelihood can’t afford it either.

[aygart]

Who in all likelihood can’t afford it either.

That is what makes them peers.

[Yehuda57]

28000 for shabbos sheva brachos and the best you can say is the food was "plated exquisitely"?

[tzifanya54]

That is what makes them peers.

[tzifanya54]

What would you say constitutes middle class in the frum community? What income bracket?

What about this curious to hear what people consider middle class.

[aygart]

The couple moved to EY right after the wedding yet managed to spend $15k on housewares etc.

[jye]

They haven't highlighted a typical middle class family yet. It's the weirdest thing. It's either been high income families or very low income families.

Their first column was sort of a middle income family. They spent 70k or so including 13k of gifts for the kallah that they apparently sourced from family and tzedaka. And advocated that others do the same. 70k certainly isn’t 300k, yet it is still something of a sad commentary on community expectations. The thought never even crossed their mind to dpend a few thousand less on kallah gifts when it is coming from communal funds? עשה שבתך חול ואל תצטרך לבריות is apparently no longer a virtue.

[aygart]

Something is seriously wrong.

when the deciding factor is peer pressure.

And you know it but just do it anyhow. It is interesting how he is sweating it while is wife is left happily swiping away. That he won't discuss finances with his wife is the real root of the issue.

[MoYS]

They should really change the "How We Did It" section to the "How We Borrowed It" with a break down of gemachs credit cards etc.

[ah giten]

And you know it but just do it anyhow. It is interesting how he is sweating it while is wife is left happily swiping away. That he won't discuss finances with his wife is the real root of the issue.

Or that other men don't discuss with their wives, which builds up the peer pressure by the women.

[aygart]

"Peer pressure is when you do something beyond your means that you don't really want in order to keep up with others..... We keep to the standards set by others even though we couldn't afford it and took tzedaka money to do so. "

I guess in their mind once you actually want it then it is no longer peer pressure.

We made 3 weddings which were beautiful without spending this amount and without taking a penny from anyone but rather helping pay for a different wedding the same night made by someone who couldn't afford basics.

[aygart]

Or that other men don't discuss with their wives, which builds up the peer pressure by the women.

If they are also left with their wives spending more than they can afford without discussion.

[AsherO]

28000 for shabbos sheva brachos and the best you can say is the food was "plated exquisitely"?

When you’re paying for appearances…