POLL: Wedding expenses in the frum Community - BH for simchos? or out of hand?

[yesitsme]

Adding an extra 100 people wouldn't have driven cost up so much. The hall we did (a small one) had a minimum, and the marginal cost per couple was pretty low beyond that.

caterers generally have a minimum in order it should be profitable
a family with almost no relatives asked the caterer instead of making 200 portions make 50 high scale menu, and they agreed

[CountValentine]

Is there any halls that serve food, not catered?

[shaulyaakov]

Is there any halls that serve food, not catered?

Yes. On the whole, those cost a lot more when you add catering.

[Something Fishy]

We made a small wedding in Monsey (for ourselves, mostly paid for by our parents--we preferred a "block grant").

It was smallish (200 guests, Sunday wedding during the post Purim "season") and it was about 20k all in - hall, photographer, 5 piece band, photographer, video (should have nixed that in retrospect), flowers, wine, invitations (mostly did paperless). If we wanted to, we could have cut down on band and done it for closer to 17k.

Othwr than video, I don't have regrets.

Adding an extra 100 people wouldn't have driven cost up so much. The hall we did (a small one) had a minimum, and the marginal cost per couple was pretty low beyond that.

Just curious, why the regret on the video?

[CountValentine]

Yes. On the whole, those cost a lot more when you add catering.

Really odd as I never been to a catered wedding.

[shaulyaakov]

Really odd as I never been to a catered wedding.

So how does food work?

[shaulyaakov]

Just curious, why the regret on the video?

We've never really watched it, nor had the desire to.

[Ergel]

We've never really watched it, nor had the desire to.

Do you have kids who need to be entertained during quarantine?

[shaulyaakov]

Do you have kids who need to be entertained during quarantine?

Toddler. Don't think she'll appreciate nearly as much as Daniel Tiger.

[@Yehuda]

My world is so different (and I’m sure some of it is my subjective experience), that I can’t even start. All I’ll say is I’m lucky to have asked her out on my own and had free Chosson classes at YU (gave a small present).

[Ergel]

My world is so different (and I’m sure some of it is my subjective experience), that I can’t even start. All I’ll say is I’m lucky to have asked her out on my own and had free Chosson classes at YU (gave a small present).

That's a tiny portion of the cost. Do you think YU weddings are generally cheaper than Yeshivish weddings?

[Iz]

We've never really watched it, nor had the desire to.

מצוה לפרסם

[@Yehuda]

That's a tiny portion of the cost. Do you think YU weddings are generally cheaper than Yeshivish weddings?

I know. I just stopped at the first 2 line items as I didn’t have them. Nope the actually wedding is probably just as expensive, but I certainly didn’t have a lot of those non-wedding related costs. I guess you never know what other people are doing but some of those things seemed certainly surprising - Buying furniture? A car?

[Sam Finkelstein]

I know. I just stopped at the first 2 line items as I didn’t have them. Nope the actually wedding is probably just as expensive, but I certainly didn’t have a lot of those non-wedding related costs. I guess you never know what other people are doing but some of those things seemed certainly surprising - Buying furniture? A car?

Yes. Personally never liked that parents are expected to do so much.

[Dan]

I know. I just stopped at the first 2 line items as I didn’t have them. Nope the actually wedding is probably just as expensive, but I certainly didn’t have a lot of those non-wedding related costs. I guess you never know what other people are doing but some of those things seemed certainly surprising - Buying furniture? A car?

We got garage sale furniture and an old junker van hand me down to borrow

I was 23, Mimi was 21, and with Gds help we made it on our own even during the great recession when we got married.

[moko]

I guess I'll jump in...
DW and I both 22 when we got married. Actual wedding day costs 14k at the Concord al"h.  Including 1 man band $1500, flowers, hall and dinner for 350. Food was nothing to write home about but the wedding was amazing and would have been just as amazing if we got married at Sasson Vsimcha for $6000 all inclusive. (Some friends actually did). We didn't chose the hall. DW gown was borrowed, my suit was $99 JosBank clearance. After the wedding, we went straight to our very own 2.5 bedroom walk in level basement apartment in Brooklyn which we paid $1000 monthly for until we moved to Boston 7 years later.
Bedroom set was 3rd hand gift. Dining room table and chairs were purchased second hand made it all on our own and hosted all yamim tovim  the first 2 years we were married (hashem yeracheim  ) 7 years later we bought our own home in Boston with a 20% down payment and continued to lived in the basement of our home with  4 children bli ayin hara, while renting the top levels to replenish our savings . There are many just like us... Just doesn't make the "news" since we're just average Joe's living day to day, not millionaires but not 10s of thousands in debt... In short nothing news worthy.... This year we rented the basement and live upstairs and can finally afford our very own 14ft quarantinetrampoline in the backyard 

[EliJelly]

I guess I'll jump in...
DW and I both 22 when we got married. Actual wedding day costs 14k at the Concord al"h.  Including 1 man band $1500, flowers, hall and dinner for 350. Food was nothing to write home about but the wedding was amazing and would have been just as amazing if we got married at Sasson Vsimcha for $6000 all inclusive. (Some friends actually did). We didn't chose the hall. DW gown was borrowed, my suit was $99 JosBank clearance. After the wedding, we went straight to our very own 2.5 bedroom walk in level basement apartment in Brooklyn which we paid $1000 monthly for until we moved to Boston 7 years later.
Bedroom set was 3rd hand gift. Dining room table and chairs were purchased second hand made it all on our own and hosted all yamim tovim  the first 2 years we were married (hashem yeracheim  ) 7 years later we bought our own home in Boston with a 20% down payment and continued to lived in the basement of our home with  4 children bli ayin hara, while renting the top levels to replenish our savings . There are many just like us... Just doesn't make the "news" since we're just average Joe's living day to day, not millionaires but not 10s of thousands in debt... In short nothing news worthy.... This year we rented the basement and live upstairs and can finally afford our very own 14ft quarantinetrampoline in the backyard 

From Brooklyn to Boston, would be nice to read your insights here; https://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=21675.0

[moko]

From Brooklyn to Boston, would be nice to read your insights here; https://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=21675.0

i grew up in Dallas, St Louis, and Chicago....

[EliJelly]

i grew up in Dallas, St Louis, and Chicago....

Wow some diverse background, so I'm sure you don't know where to start anyway..

[Chapshnell]

https://twitter.com/eitankatzmusic/status/1252376119157743620?s=21

So beautiful