Topic Wiki

Initiative to lower the standards:   https://simchainitiative.org/

Mishpacha Article link:                     https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs/
                                                     https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs-the-conversation-continues-2/

Jewish Pr. Interview W/R Reisman   https://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/interviews-and-profiles/over-1300-sign-pledge-to-hold-simpler-weddings-an-interview-with-rav-yisroel-reisman-rosh-yeshiva-of-torah-vodaath/2020/05/13/

Some interesting articles covering the guidelines from similar efforts 20 years ago

https://agudah.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/JO2002-V35-N06.pdf  page 10 article by Prof. Aaron Twerski
https://agudah.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/JO2006-V39-N041.pdf page 43 article by R Aryeh Zev Ginzberg
https://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/25/us/religion-journal-a-big-wedding-with-a-smaller-bill.html
« Last edited by David61 on May 28, 2020, 06:29:23 PM »

Poll

Wedding expenses in the frum community

Thank G-d for simchas
12 (6%)
This has gotten out of hand and a remedy is needed
149 (74.9%)
It's a problem but has always been this way and we'll manage as we have till now
38 (19.1%)

Total Members Voted: 199

Author Topic: POLL: Wedding expenses in the frum Community - BH for simchos? or out of hand?  (Read 120100 times)

Offline yesitsme

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["-"]

Offline David61

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Offline zh cohen

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Follow on feature in Mishpacha Magazine

https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs-the-conversation-continues-2/

How can anyone in their right mind call a $95,000 wedding (for one side...)
Quote
beautiful but not extravagant

Offline aygart

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How can anyone in their right mind call a $95,000 wedding (for one side...)
What everyone thinks about themselves.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Dan

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How can anyone in their right mind call a $95,000 wedding (for one side...)
Alternate universe.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Chapshnell

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How can anyone in their right mind call a $95,000 wedding (for one side...)

Shreimel costs these days up to $10,000 (just saying)
SICK, PUKE

Offline Dan

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Alternate universe.
The best part is saying they split nearly everything with their not well to do mechutanim.
Yikes.
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Offline aygart

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The best part is saying they split nearly everything with their not well to do mechutanim.
Yikes.

Sad. "I can afford it so who cares about the other side"
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Dan

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Sad. "I can afford it so who cares about the other side"
Made me want to vomit.
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Offline EliJelly

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After the back and forth here, I just took a look at the article;
Quote
we split almost all costs, but since our mechutanim are not well-off, we splurged in the areas where we wanted more. My son wanted great music, for example, so we upgraded without asking the other side to chip in. We also spent extra on the smorgasbord and dessert
Can very well be that they split the basics. Splurging on music bands, smorgaboards, aufruf, dresses etc. on their end can easily add additional $30k-$40k.

Offline Dan

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After the back and forth here, I just took a look at the article;Can very well be that they split the basics. Splurging on music bands, smorgaboards, aufruf, dresses etc. on their end can easily add additional $30k-$40k.

And is $50K-$60K normal to expect from a not well-off family to spend on their half of the wedding?
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Offline EliJelly

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And is $50K-$60K normal to expect from a not well-off family to spend on their half of the wedding?
הכל בכל? Very very normal, unfortunately. Wedding night which gets split is a small percentage of the total cost.

Offline Chapshnell

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הכל בכל? Very very normal, unfortunately. Wedding night which gets split is a small percentage of the total cost.

NORMAL? Ummm... no... normal is relative

Offline EliJelly

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NORMAL? Ummm... no... normal is relative
Ok.. perhaps I should have say standard.

Offline Dan

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הכל בכל? Very very normal, unfortunately. Wedding night which gets split is a small percentage of the total cost.
Crazy. Happy that's not my world.
What kind of not well off family can afford to blow $60K post tax dollars like that?
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Offline yesitsme

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Crazy. Happy that's not my world.
What kind of not well off family can afford to blow $60K post tax dollars like that?
What I think about those with tesla's
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Online yelped

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What I think about those with tesla's
Because it's really comparable. You totally missed the question.

Offline 12HRS

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NORMAL? Ummm... no... normal is relative

these are not normal relatives

Offline Dan

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What I think about those with tesla's
Lolwut?
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Offline Sam Finkelstein

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What I think about those with tesla's
Nothing wrong with enjoying your money. There is something wrong with being ostentatious, but I have very non-showy comfortable relatives who enjoy driving higher-end vehicles and can relate to that.
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