Please do show me where you said they are not the same.
Seemed to me you were making the analogy and twisting it to say “what if it were a negative thing too”. Yes, but it isn’t considered morally reprehensible by a large majority of American society so it doesn’t hold up. When something is considered objectively evil by most of society than you don’t think society should try to address that and make change?
I explicitly said "Does racism only apply when the perception of how a group of people tend to act is about something you view as a negative thing?"
Of course we should try to change the fact that a certain community views an action as normal when the rest of the world views it as morally reprehensible. Seems like we agree. The only difference is I'm ok with recognizing that a certain community has a problem and acts differently from the rest of society, something which it seems like you don't want to do. If I'm wrong on that and you actually are OK with recognizing and acknowledging it, irrespective of who's "fault" it may or may not be, then just say so and we can stop arguing.