Child Savings Fund for Wedding

[dovy2]

What I meant to say is that if you don't see another way besides going with what's " standard " you will obviously need a lot more at that point, and inflation is part of it, but more importantly it's the standards that is constantly upgraded. Vs if you could say today, I'll marry off according to my own budget and saving goals

In many circles (is it just chassidic?) The standards are BH getting less and less.. and this trend will hopefully continue

[Alexsei]

In many circles (is it just chassidic?) The standards are BH getting less and less.. and this trend will hopefully continue

One can only hope, and pray, I'm saving up and investing in my kid's at the same time

[drosenberg88429]

In many circles (is it just chassidic?) The standards are BH getting less and less.. and this trend will hopefully continue

For the wedding day itself, or for the overall package (vort+gifts+aufruf+wedding+SBS+clothing+furnishings)? The combination can easily be well over $100k, even if wedding itself is only $20k. In general, I think chassidish marriage packages cost more than litvishe, although the litvishe pay for it over the next few years in support. Focusing just on wedding day expenses is a bit of a straw man at this point.

[aygart]

In many circles (is it just chassidic?) The standards are BH getting less and less.. and this trend will hopefully continue

That standards for what?

[aygart]

There's an inverse relationship between her chosson's stone size and her stone size (or grading or naturalness, which nobody can tell difference between anyways)?

I'm just saying this because i haven't married off any kids. I think it won't happen to me, but it probably will. Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the jaw.

I am not sure what you mean by this. You are dealing with a girl who met her chosson's parents 2 or 3 times and interacted with them for less than an hour. She likely has preconceived notions about what to expect from someone in their financial standing. A girl engaged to the son of a rebbi likely has lower expectations than one engaged to the son of a real estate manager. But the expectations exist and it is not great if she feels that they were being cheap.

[dasmo801]

For the wedding day itself, or for the overall package (vort+gifts+aufruf+wedding+SBS+clothing+furnishings)? The combination can easily be well over $100k, even if wedding itself is only $20k. In general, I think chassidish marriage packages cost more than litvishe, although the litvishe pay for it over the next few years in support. Focusing just on wedding day expenses is a bit of a straw man at this point.

In the interests of keeping people calm I would point out that we B"H made a chassuna a few weeks ago and our cost was less than half of these numbers. And upon further review, we could have probably cut out another 3-5K or so.
Location: Lakewood, not chassidish.

[aygart]

In the interests of keeping people calm I would point out that we B"H made a chassuna a few weeks ago and our cost was less than half of these numbers. And upon further review, we could have probably cut out another 3-5K or so.
Location: Lakewood, not chassidish.

Those numbers are very high. There is no need for a wedding to cost 20k for either side. Takana packages are way below that.

[dasmo801]

Those numbers are very high. There is no need for a wedding to cost 20k for either side. Takana packages are way below that.

I'm including all costs, l'chaim thru wedding. Wedding itself was takana package with minor upgrades, total was around 13K.

[Euclid]

In the interests of keeping people calm I would point out that we B"H made a chassuna a few weeks ago and our cost was less than half of these numbers. And upon further review, we could have probably cut out another 3-5K or so.
Location: Lakewood, not chassidish.

Mazel Tov!!

[aygart]

I'm including all costs, l'chaim thru wedding. Wedding itself was takana package with minor upgrades, total was around 13K.

100k is ridiculously high.

[skyguy918]

I am sure that your daughter in law will understand that is why she got a stone 1/3 the size of all her friends.

...She likely has preconceived notions about what to expect from someone in their financial standing. ... But the expectations exist and it is not great if she feels that they were being cheap.

Once we're talking about investing for/in you kids... instill from a young age in your kids to not have expectations when it comes to money and lifestyle, and to value that quality in a spouse. I'm not saying this because it makes the parents' life easier when it comes to making the simcha, I'm saying that because it makes shalom bayis a lot easier for the rest of their lives.

[aygart]

Once we're talking about investing for/in you kids... instill from a young age in your kids to not have expectations when it comes to money and lifestyle, and to value that quality in a spouse. I'm not saying this because it makes the parents' life easier when it comes to making the simcha, I'm saying that because it makes shalom bayis a lot easier for the rest of their lives.

+100000000000 that will help them  better than any financial support.

[solmeir]

I see this treat has veered from saving for the chasunah to cutting costs. Although I have a few years until my oldest comes of age, I think it would be a great service if someone can put together a few real life examples from different people and different communities what the expenses were. It would give many of us what to compare to when planning and budgeting. Anyone ever did this already?

[aygart]

I see this treat has veered from saving for the chasunah to cutting costs. Although I have a few years until my oldest comes of age, I think it would be a great service if someone can put together a few real life examples from different people and different communities what the expenses were. It would give many of us what to compare to when planning and budgeting. Anyone ever did this already?

Cutting costs is saving money.

[drosenberg88429]

I see this treat has veered from saving for the chasunah to cutting costs. Although I have a few years until my oldest comes of age, I think it would be a great service if someone can put together a few real life examples from different people and different communities what the expenses were. It would give many of us what to compare to when planning and budgeting. Anyone ever did this already?

Mishpacha had a couple of articles doing this. I think it was discussed on the forums too.

https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs/
https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs-the-conversation-continues/
https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs-the-conversation-continues-2/