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Chabad dictionary:

  • Bendel - "My bendel snapped so I can't get into my house. I'll use my old underwear to make a new one."
  • Bullshove - "I need to find a chavrusah I don't like so we don't just bullshove a whole seder."
  • Dib
  • Dish "Did you hear Mendel wore his hat and jacket into the Mikva this morning? Yea, he's so Dish." "Dish mushrooms wear bendels, but we won't talk about void farmers and zal bochurim here."
  • Farce - Did you hear that yeshiva doesn't allow bochurim to drink? Such a farce.
  • Farmer What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a farmer like my Tatty -Exgingi's son
  • Gan eden haelyon - I tried all yom kipur but Gan eden haelyon was too packed, I couldn't get in.
  • Gan eden hatachton - Let's grab some Kingston Pizza after seder, meet me outside Gan eden hatachton.
  • Gezhe "Don't you think Mendel and Sarah would make a great Shidduch? They really would, but Mende's parents would never go for someone not Gezhe"
  • Girsa - Come back to bullshove with me by iyun, I actually like girsa.
  • Hookup - At the CTeen shabbaton this week, Shluchim will show teens the hookup room in 770
  • Karkafta I'm not sure if he was Jewish, but we got the Karkafta anyway.
  • Kelishke - If your kelishke is empty on a Thursday night are you even Chabad?
  • Kvort  - How do goyim wash their kids hair in the bath without a kvort? (H/T Mendy Pellin)
  • Kvutza 
  • L'chatchila ariber
  • Magnet - Whoa! The magnet is strong in that Chabad House
  • Mashpiah - I'm not sure if I can, let me ask my Mashpiah.
  • Mechokek - I went so far on Tahalucha I got a massive Mechokek! Gold Bond was useless.
  • Mimush - OMG I can't believe you tied your shoes, I thought you were Mimush.
  • Mushroom - I bet Suite 302 would get an exterminator for all the mushroom fungus if they could.
  • Shpitz - He's so Shpitz he can shave.
  • Shvil
  • Snag - On Simchas Torah all the snags know where to come for a drink.
  • Tahalucha See Mechokek
  • Tankist
  • Teshura - "Are you here from the chosson's side or the kallah's?" "I'm just here for the teshurah"
  • Tolui b'hergesh
  • Tzfati
  • Tzugekumener - I can spot a tzugekumener a mile away.
  • Void - This whole thread is void.
  • Voidness - If you live in Crown heights you will be sucked into the voidness
  • Zal - In mesivta we had shuirum in zal, but in zal we had shuirum in classrooms.
  • Zeks un neintzigger - I don't always drink just 4, but when I do I make sure it's Zeks un neintzigger.

« Last edited by Dan on February 26, 2023, 11:09:43 AM »

Author Topic: Gezhe use a kvort as a kelishke for zekts un neintzigger, and other Chabad tales  (Read 7270 times)

Offline ExGingi

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FXR5S20/?tag=cl03f-20&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&th=1&psc=1

That must be made especially for goyim. It isn't kosher for נטילת ידים. It is/has an image of a non-kosher animal.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Trying to find the original mendy pellin tweet, seems like I may have misremembered his joke and made up my own twist

Eta:

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/1499196121/?tag=cl03f-20&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&th=1&psc=1
Haven't read that one. Let me guess:
Step 1: use self deprication, such as making jokes with your own name.

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l'chatchila ariber
...
Lots of gobbledygook
...
 gey pish in Nevel


Check out my site for epic kosher adventures: Kosher Horizons

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Pretty sure @YitzyS kid took control of @Essen est zich 's keyboard.

Makes sense. His own keyboard is broken.


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Not my kids. My children may make trouble, steal my computer, raid the nosh cabinet, and many other things, but they would NEVER EVER dare to go anywhere near a Chabad thread...

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Not my kids. My children may make trouble, steal my computer, raid the nosh cabinet, and many other things, but they would NEVER EVER dare to go anywhere near a Chabad thread...

Some kids are just raised right.
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Quote
He's so Shpitz gezhe he can shave

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Added Mechokek

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What's void / voidness and mimush?

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Added Mechokek
this is a Lubavitcher thing? Who knew  :)

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What's void / voidness and mimush?

Being void of the meaning of mimush mamesh renders you shpitz tzugekumener

Offline chevron

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Being void of the meaning of mimush mamesh renders you shpitz tzugekumener

Well I'm not a bt and my zaidy didn't pish In nevel so I'm in between

Offline Dan

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this is a Lubavitcher thing? Who knew  :)
+1, for real?
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Well I'm not a bt and my zaidy didn't pish In nevel so I'm in between

That renders you non-gezhe which by definition is a tzugekumener.

(Though if you can properly use Russian curse words that might be considered mitigating circumstances)
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan