The Shalom Challenge

[NTorch]

There was a thread which ran in this forum about whether people felt that there was bullying or intolerance of views related to COVID issues.

After many contentious posts, the Mods deleted the thread which was probably the right decision.

Coincidentally, the Chafetz Chaim Heritage Foundation stared a new program today called the Shalom Challenge with a motto

The differences are real.
The division doesn’t have to be.

They circulated a video today by Whatsapp which was extremely powerful and you can get it by Whatsapp here - https://wa.me/message/C3AQMYQ5NFACM1

If you don't do whatsapp you can signup on this site - https://www.cchfshalom.org/

[NTorch]

For all those who joined via whatsapp, I just received this by email.

Due to overwhelming popularity the Shalom Challenge broke whatsapp 😳

The email has a link to rejoin the Shalom Challenge

[NTorch]

New song by Beeny Friedman & Joey Newcomb featured on the Shalom Challenge page:

https://cchfshalom.org/

[NTorch]

Today's posting from the Shalom Challenge:

DAY 2
Do you know someone who's mean or difficult?

Is your filter blocking you from watching? Reply to this email, and we'll send it to you as an attachment.
Today's challenge: Turn pain into compassion
Next time someone hurts you, think about the REAL reason behind their act; they're in pain. Remind yourself of what's triggering their behavior so that instead of feeling hurt, you feel compassion. 
 
Disclaimer: This refers to behavior that’s within the range of normal. Ongoing anger or abuse needs to be addressed professionally.
Transcript
Do you have anyone in your life who can be mean, difficult, or just cold toward you?

We all have difficult people in our lives. How do we deal with these situations, and how can we create a little more shalom between us?

Allow me to share with you a story I once heard…

A young boy and his father once went to a pet store to buy a puppy for the boy’s birthday. The owner showed them 5 little furry puppies in a pen, but the boy noticed that the pen next to it had one that looked just like the others.

So the boy asked the store owner, “Why’s this one all alone?” The owner said, “Well, unfortunately he was born with a deformed leg, and we'll need to put him to sleep.”

The boy said, “You’re going to kill this little puppy??"

The owner said, “Well you have to understand, he'll never be able to run or play with a boy like you.”

The boy paused, and whispered something into his father’s ear. The father turned to the owner, and said. “We would like to buy the one with the bad leg please.”

The owner was shocked. he said, “But for the same price you could have one of the healthy ones, why do you want that one??”

The boy lifted the bottom of his pants and showed the owner a brace. He said, “Mister… I want this one…because I know what he’s going through.”

When you can SEE what someone’s really going through, it can help you understand what’s really driving their behavior.

The Mishnah in Avos says:
Don’t judge your friend until you’ve been in his place.

Your family member, friend, or co-worker who’s giving you a hard time is often going through something that you can’t SEE, and most likely their behavior has nothing to do with you - but rather something they’re personally struggling with.

If you can SEE
beneath the surface
beneath the rudeness
beneath the cold shoulder
beneath the bad attitude
You'll often discover that there’s a little person who’s scared, anxious or in pain, and going through something difficult - just like you have in the past.

Try to see this, and watch as it helps you become more understanding, more forgiving and create more shalom bein adam l'chavero.

[PlatinumGuy]

A friend to all is a friend to none

אִ֣ישׁ רֵ֭עִים לְהִתְרֹעֵ֑עַ, כבר אמרו המחקרים כי הקונה אוהבים רבים אפילו אחד אין לו, כי האהבה יחידה היא, וכל שתתרבה בטלה ונפרדה, וז"ש מי שי"ל רעים הרבה, הוא רק להתרועע שידמה שהוא איש רעות ורעים, כי זה גדר בנין התפעל על המדומה, ובאמת אין לו ריעים,

https://www.sefaria.org/Malbim_on_Proverbs.18.24.1?lang=he&with=all&lang2=he

[NTorch]

Today's message:

Let me tell you a story.

You and your friend go to a meeting; you’re meeting with a bank manager. You walk in, and you see this guy has the most stunning suit you have ever seen.

As you’re talking to him, you notice that one of the buttons on his sleeve is missing.

You stare and stare, and your friend is starting to get embarrassed. Then you lean over and start inspecting the missing button up close - like a jeweler looks at diamonds.

You tell your friend, "Look at that – there's a gaping hole and the threads are torn. This suit is a disaster!”

You’re probably thinking, "What a crazy story. I would never do that!"

Are you sure?

We have people in our lives that we really don’t like. How did that happen?

Simple. We’re so focused on their flaws, that they grow to be so large, they completely cover up their good points.

A Gadol once said, “No wonder you hate me - if I was what you imagined me to be, I’d also hate myself.”

So here’s some wisdom.
Every person you like has good and bad in them.
Every person you don’t like has good and bad in them.

Its about where you have chosen to focus your vision.

So take the shalom challenge and pick a person whom you don’t like. For one minute, mute all that you dislike about that person.

I know. It will be hard.

Next, find someone who likes or respects this person.
His friend, his spouse, his parents, his students, his Rebbi...
Climb into their mind, and look at the person you don’t like through their eyes.

Be honest.
What do they see?

C’mon, you can do it!

And when you do, maybe you can consider that you have a slightly prejudiced opinion towards this person.

Maybe your laser focus and ruminating about their faults, turned them into a monster that they aren’t.

When you train yourself to do that, you will be a person that brings blessing into your life.