Master Thread of YitzyS's News Articles

[Yehudaa]

I think it's time...

Please add any that I missed.

[Yehudaa]

Deals Forum Moderator Canceled After Expressing Sympathy for Deal-Targeted Company

A moderator on the prominent deals forum site DansDeals Forums has been booted from the site after he posted that he will refrain from allowing site users to access a certain coupon because "I want [the company] to make [money] when I patronize the business."

The now-former moderator, who went by the username AsherO, added that he did not want users to "50BM" the company - an acronym for "50 Browser Method," a tactic deals buffs use to utilize a single-use coupon multiple times.

AsherO was summarily fired. In a statement, site administrator JJ Eleff, a younger brother of the site's founder, wrote that dissuading users from getting deals is "contrary to what we stand for as a consumer-first brand," and that "there is no room in our company for soft-heartedness towards big brands." He also compared the post to an incident in which a Spirit Airlines employee was fired for doing a favor, a story that was previously reported by DansDeals Magazine.

The move is surprising as AsherO is one of the earliest members of the forum. His journey to being a moderator began in 2008, when he posted an the forum's first thread, "I wanna be a mod too." That became a real-life dream for the aspiring leader, but that all came crashing down with his post this week.

Some forum members are angry over the unexpected dismissal. "This cancel culture has to stop," forum member Euclid said. Others, led by member PlatinumGuy, assert that it's a free country and that forums owners can fire whomever they please.

It is unclear what AsherO plans to do going forward, though it's likely that he plans to devote his energy to building up his new hat company.

Rumors have circulated that the firing was done without the consent of site founder Bentzion Friedman, as the founder, known by his nickname Daniel Eleff, seems to have been abducted by American Airlines, possibly in retaliation for the notable blogger's activity which has seriously impacted their profits.

[Yehudaa]

BREAKING: SPIRIT EMPLOYEE GRANTS COURTESY

An employee of Spirit Airlines allegedly granted a request from a passenger, the Associated Press reported.

The unnamed passenger reportedly asked if they can be moved to an open exit row. In a move heralded by civil rights leaders as a once-in-a-lifetime milestone, the crew member granted the courtesy, allowing the passenger to have the empty seat and enjoy the accompanying extra leg-room.

"Since women got their right to vote, I don't think there has been any single act that has encapsulated the advent in human rights as much as this one," the ADL and the NAACP said in a joint statement.

The employee was immediately fired from his job, with the airline citing a violation of policy as the cause.

"We don't give anything for free," Spirit CEO Edward Christie told reporters. "This employee risked the reputation of our company for a senseless act. He should never have been hired."

[Yehudaa]

Airline Execs Hold Emergency Meeting as Key Airline Blogger Turns to RVs

By Yitzy S.

Executives from at least five airlines participated in a hastily-organized meeting aimed at saving the bleeding industry as a leading airline blogging celebrity shares details of his RV-central vacation.

"Follow Me On An RV Trip Out West!" travel and deal blogger Daniel Eleff, who founded Dans Deals in 2008, wrote in the headline of a post on his site.

"4 DDF (DansDeals Forums) members have been driving an RV from NYC to San Francisco this week on a Photo [meeting] organized by [a member]," Eleff wrote in the post. Eleff's post created a stir in the travel world, and a thread was created on his forum site, forums.dansdeals.com, discussing the trip. The growing interest in RV travel, fueled by the open embracing of such trips by travel celebrities like Eleff, have driven airline bigwigs into a frenzy.

"Such rhetoric can be the death knell of a volatile industry," United Airlines CEO Scott Kirby reportedly said at the meeting, which took place via Zoom video conference. "We can pay for huge billboards with images of glistening airplanes, but all that will be meaningless when vacationers see pictures of the beauty of the Grand Canyon through the window of a motor home."

"Making the notion of RV vacations viable will only bring trouble to the airline industry," Kirby's counterpart at American Airlines, Doug Parker, allegedly added. "This, coming from Dan Eleff, is a most formidable threat."

Eleff's site has been ranked as the number 1 travel blog site by USA Today, and he has more than 88,000 followers on Twitter. The site's Facebook page has nearly 40,000 members as well.

Delta Airlines COE Ed Bastian, who seemingly also took part in the meeting, indicated that the group would seek sanctions against the blogging site.

"We all know that Congress is in our pockets," a voice sounding like Bastian's says, in an audio clip leaked to us. "How hard would it be to just shut the [expletive] down?!" the voice said, with notable aggression.

Spokespeople for the airlines we contacted refused to comment, and we are still waiting for a response from Dans Deals.

[Yehudaa]

"Hyatt is Spreading the Coronavirus," Hotel Guest Asserts after Policy Reversal

The Hyatt hotel chain has come under fire for its alleged role in spreading a pandemic, DansDeals Magazine has learned. The accusation came after a Mexico-based hotel refused to supply a free Covid test to a guest, in direct contradiction to the chain's stated policy.

"[The] reservation manager claims the free test is only for paid stays," a guest at the Andaz Mayakoba, a Hotel that is part of the Hyatt Brand of hotels, claimed on a prominent online forum. The guest, who was identified only by a username of 'mdv', added that the hotel sent a PDF that supposedly backed up their refusal to supply a test, but the guest pointed out that the hotel website made no distinction between paid or reward stays.

The assertion was first posted on Dans Deals Forums, a prestigious travel and points forum that compliments DansDeals.com, a deals site that has earned the top spot in a USA Today survey. The site's administrator, Cleveland-based points heavyweight Daniel Eleff, immediately offered to use his connections to clear up the confusion.

"I'll reach out to my Hyatt contact and see what they say," Eleff posted on the forum.

The situation was later resolved after the hotel conceded and agreed to supply a test. Poster mdv reported the change of policy about two-and-a-half hours after his initial post noting the refusal.

It has been reported that Hyatt secretly threated adverse actions against Eleff if he would publicize the story, with their main ammunition being their ability to portray Eleff as a super-spreader, given his side job of singing at predominantly Jewish weddings. Eleff, however, has been documented as having eleffated antibody levels, thus effectively mitigating the risk of virus spread. DansDeals Magazine has not been able to independently confirm claims of any threats, however.

[AsherO]

@YitzyS's way of ensuring he's hired as editor in chief of DD Magazine

[YitzyS]

I'm honored!

I think most of them are already posted in this thread.

[YitzyS]

@YitzyS's way of ensuring that he'll need an editor if he's hired by DD Magazine

FTFY

[YitzyS]

BREAKING: Chicago Jew maintains non-Jewish slaves to man his bathroom

An allegedly Jewish Chicago man has admitted to utilizing slave labor to turn his sinks on on the Jewish holy day of Shabbos. The man, identified only by his handle of "CountValentine," has specified that he seeks out "goys," or non-Jews, for this labor.

"I have a goy waive (sic) his hand over it," the Chicago native wrote on a popular deals forum site, in response to a question of how to activate an electric water faucet on Shabbos.

Jews are forbidden to activate electric devices on their holy day, which begins Friday at sundown and culminates Saturday night.

"Who would've believed that in the 21st century, such behavior can take place," flaming community activist [insert name] spewed. "And the Jews want to know why there is Antisemitism in America?"

Staff of [media outlet] were not able to confirm the Jewish ethnicity of the perpetrator, but his frequenting of the predominantly Jewish deals forum site "Dan's Deals Forums" points to that conclusion.

[AsherO]

FTFY

As Editor in Chief all you get to publish is the Letter from the Editor, I think you'll manage that on your own

[YitzyS]

BREAKING: "DansDeals" to be Renamed "DefundAirlines" After Founder Accused of Age Bias

Popular deals website DansDeals will be changing it name after a whistleblower revealed that the founder, who is also the site's namesake, engaged in age bias when he retaliated against his younger brother for a decades-old incident.

The claim, first reported as an anonymous comment on the website, alleged that Daniel Eleff, 35, engaged in age bias targeting his younger brother JJ, 29, when he cut the latter's pay while hiding behind an incident in which his younger brother allegedly confiscated his's Lego toys in the early 1990s.

The initial comment on the site alleged that an employee had his pay cut under the guise of COVID19, with a follow up comment claiming that the employee in question was JJ, and it was "Dan getting back at JJ for taking his lego when they were young."

US law allows younger brothers to confiscate toys, games, and books from an older sibling, and protects the younger sibling from any punitive retaliation. The law, introduced by Congresswoman AOC and signed by President Joe Biden, asserts that it is age discrimination to allow an older sibling unfair advantage over younger siblings, and thereby grants all play privileges to the younger sibling.

"This is a troubling charge," Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost wrote in a statement. "Our office is taking this very seriously and we are following all leads.

Some reports indicate that Daniel Eleff may also be charged with cyber bullying, as he has called his younger brother "my kid brother" in an online post, a term banned by the Anti-Bullying Commission of America.

Site administrators have not yet revealed the status of Eleff's future in the company, but they have been quick to pull his name from the site.

"Going forward, it would only seem sensible to call the site 'DefundAirlines,' which carries the positive connotation of taking the money away from powerful capitalist airlines," administrator @Something Fishy wrote in a statement.

Eleff has yet to comment on the allegations, and it is unclear at this time if has retained a lawyer.

[YitzyS]

Forum Members Stage Coup as Site Founder Vacations

A group of forum members on a popular internet deals website have exploited the vacation of the site’s founder to stage a coup and take control of the website.

Daniel Eleff, the founder of travel and deals website DansDeals.com, was vacationing when longtime members of the site’s built-in forum took the reins and blocked the founder from accessing his site.

“Now that Dan is RVing and has really spotty internet service, is a great time to assert our rights,” one DDFer, as the forum members are called, wrote in a hidden thread on the site. “Dan’s hiatus proves more than ever that it is really his brother JJ who is carrying this site. It is clearly evident that Dan is just a celebrity silent partner and it’s JJ who really does all the work around here.”

A moderator was commissioned to bait the founder away from the site by presenting a unique vacation opportunity. Once away, forum members, with the help of site administrators, wiped Dan’s name off the site, and replaced it with a banner reading “JJ Deals”. Traffic to the site is now automatically rerouted to a new web address, JJDeals.com, and certain key loyalist accounts have been suspended. Sources allege that JJ, who is six years younger than Dan, has been secretly harvesting the rebellion for years.

While there have been various factions among forum members as to how to approach the change of leadership, moderators have been working overtime to bring over as many users as they can. Prominent users that have been offline have been coaxed back, in order to be able to give an air of validity to the new leader of the site. One such members, who goes by the username TimT, was even positively credited by JJ after having previously been accused of being a ‘Lying, Cheating, Scumbag, Good For Nothing, THIEF.'

It is still unclear if site founder Daniel Eleff is aware about the coup, or if he plans to take legal or military action to reclaim his site. Sources note that he has extensive battle experience though his use of Catan, and has a legal mind honed by his mentor Bill Watterson.

[AsherO]

Missed this the first time around JJDF just doesn't have the same ring to it as DDF...

[YitzyS]

Breaking: Lapid-Bennett Coalition Splintering Over Platinum Guy Controversy

(Tel Aviv) A long-awaited agreement that would hail in a new government to end Benjamin Netanyahu's record shattering stint as Israeli Prime Minister may have been short lived, after a tentative deal between his two opponents is teetering at the brink over a controversy pertaining to the political position of one bellicose MK.

According to reports, the argument began after Yesh Atid chairman Yair Lapid made clear his intention to include Knesset Member Platinum Guy, popularly known as PG, on his slate, and to give him the position of Health Minister. Lapid's partner in the endeavor, Yeminah Party chairman Naftali Bennett, called the inclusion of the highly controversial politician a "deal-breaker," and he threatened end talks.

"Including the Arab parties was something I would be able stomach," Bennett said during a nationally televised address. "But to put Platinum Guy at the helm of the Health Ministry, where he would be able to implement his Faucinian Covid measures - that would constitute a betrayal of my supporters."

Lapid maintained that PG would be an optimal candidate for the job, citing his experience with public safety and his strong oversight on Covid numbers, in addition to his cozy relationship with many American Democrats, which could be a ticket to better relationships with the sponsor country overseas. But Bennett refused to concede.

"I may be able to look away from some of his rhetoric," Bennett stressed. "But he dislikes Ben Shapiro. That ends the discussion. Period."

While many pundits see this development as an insurmountable challenge to the coalition, some see it as a political stunt. An anonymous political operative shared that this step is just an elaborate ploy to engage members of a PAC to which PG belongs, known by its acronyms DDF, to take a greater interest in Israeli politics, and thus steer the country in the proper direction with their collective prowess and tact. Neither Bennett nor Lapid were available to comment on this report. (AP)

[YitzyS]

Organizations Unite to Cut Postage Costs
By YitzyS

In an effort to cut the ever-increasing cost of postage, a number of tzedaka organizations have formed a coalition that will help minimize their shipping expenses. According to their new plan, a single package will be shipped each week to every US home that will include all the tzedaka letters inside. By cutting out the sipping costs of the individual envelopes, organizations plan to shave millions of dollars in operating expenses off their annual budgets.

“This process is a bold move for the chesed and tzedaka organizations across the county,” the director of Crown Heights' post office on S Johns, who was brought in to optimize the project, told DansDeals Magazine. “By setting aside our competitive nature and working together, everyone can save money, while also improving the experience for all Jewish families.”

He noted that the current plan was part of a multi-step process. The final goal, he said, was that each home should get just one paper mailed to them with check boxes to mark off which tzedaka one wished to donate to that week.

The new plan was put into motion after area residents started installing paper shredders at the front of their homes, with instructions for mailmen to deposit their mail straight into the shredder's mouths.

"Even if every once in a while we'll shred a stimulus check, big deal," Crown Heights residents Yehuda Fiftyseven told DDM. "It's not worth the hassle of sorting through all that junk to find find the money. How much is US dollars worth anyways nowadays?"

The new plan to relegate all solicitation mailings into one weekly box has been heralded as the way of the future.

"Now lets see if we can start sending kids to school one time for the whole week," Florida native JJ Onethousand noted.

Others questioned how YitzyS would end the already-too-long news tidbit that was starting to go south.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'm sure I'll find a way."

[yungermanchik]

Memo: To ALL employees

Subject: DON'T MESS WITH DAN

To all our valued and unvalued employees. It has come to our attention that travel guru Dan Eleff is planning a trip with his family. While it has long been our cherished policy to single out Orthodox Jewish families and harass them about fictitious rules and nonsensical policies, this case is an EXCEPTION. We ask all employees to use all restraint possible to refrain from making use of our time-honored tactics, and to allow them to fly completely unmolested.

Others have tried and failed. We have come to the obvious conclusion that it's just not worth it.

Thank you for your understanding.

[YitzyS]

Public Statement from the Campaign of YitzyS:

It has come to the candidate's attention that some have interpreted a routine change of an avatar as an indication of concession. The candidate wishes for it to be expressed that this is not the case, and to the contrary, he is very much determined to achieve full success in his bid.

"The reports of my defeat have been greatly exaggerated," YitzyS stated.

The candidate also wished for it to be expressed that the rumor that he fell short in likes ran counter to the facts, as he remains near the top of the pack in terms of his likes-to-posts ratio.

"It’s actual malice, defaming my character for him to say something like that," he concluded.

[AsherO]

Public Statement from the Campaign of YitzyS:

It has come to the candidate's attention that some have interpreted a routine change of an avatar as an indication of concession. The candidate wishes for it to be expressed that this is not the case, and to the contrary, he is very much determined to achieve full success in his bid.

"The reports of my defeat have been greatly exaggerated," YitzyS stated.

The candidate also wished for it to be expressed that the rumor that he fell short in likes ran counter to the facts, as he remains near the top of the pack in terms of his likes-to-posts ratio.

"It’s actual malice, defaming my character for him to say something like that," he concluded.

YitzyS has my vote for resident