Author Topic: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?  (Read 22304 times)

Offline biobook

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #380 on: May 07, 2021, 01:39:20 PM »
As a community, we focus more on trying to contain or put out fires rather than prevent them.
עס ברענט

Offline Lurker

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #381 on: May 07, 2021, 01:41:00 PM »
עס ברענט

And therefore we're focusing on bandaids, like picture initiatives.
Failing at maintaining Lurker status.

Offline Dan

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #382 on: May 07, 2021, 01:46:17 PM »
And therefore we're focusing on bandaids, like picture initiatives.
Bandaid?
More like a nothingburger. A distraction at best.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Dan

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #383 on: May 07, 2021, 01:47:22 PM »
You think anecdotal is going to convince @biobook ;D? You must be new here.
Certainly not stating anything as fact or trying to convince anyone. Just what I see happening.
Maybe it only happens to my friends and family and I'm the problem :D
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Offline yelped

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #384 on: May 07, 2021, 01:49:52 PM »
Certainly not stating anything as fact or trying to convince anyone. Just what I see happening.
Maybe it only happens to my friends and family and I'm the problem :D
I think everyone has seen that to a certain extent. No one is saying everyone is like that, but as a general rule it seems to be the case.

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #385 on: May 07, 2021, 01:52:22 PM »
These sound like easily researchable questions.  I would expect a community that puts such an emphasis on marriage to be more proactive in learning what factors facilitate and impede that goal, rather than relying on anecdotes.

We did think long and hard and decided the biggest issue is whether or not to send pictures with the resume
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Offline biobook

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #386 on: May 07, 2021, 01:54:00 PM »
If I relied on the shidduch system, I would never have married my wife. You will have to work harder to put yourself out there, but it's worth it. Don't be shy about asking friends if they or their spouses have any ideas.
I wonder if it might help some people if stories like this were publicized more widely.  Not necessarily your particular story, but some way to let those who are feeling unsuccessful in the shidduch system hear about those who found their bashert through alternative methods.  Like an edited volume, with each chapter telling the story of another happily married couple who found each other without a typical shadchan - perhaps described first from the point of view of one spouse, then the other. 

Offline pbf

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #387 on: May 07, 2021, 02:03:32 PM »
And/or of people that didn't get married at 20 and (gasp) their life is fine and dandy!

Offline biobook

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #388 on: May 07, 2021, 02:09:03 PM »
And/or of people that didn't get married at 20 and (gasp) their life is fine and dandy!
Good idea, but that's a different book. ;)

Offline Dan

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #389 on: May 07, 2021, 02:45:40 PM »
And/or of people that didn't get married at 20 and (gasp) their life is fine and dandy!
We need an option between "greatest sport ever" and "Henche"
Impossible.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #390 on: May 07, 2021, 02:54:05 PM »

Alol, do you have that post bookmarked or something? How did you remember that?
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Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #391 on: May 07, 2021, 03:26:31 PM »
Alol, do you have that post bookmarked or something? How did you remember that?

I have a memory like an Eleffant.

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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #392 on: May 07, 2021, 03:28:22 PM »

Na, I'd rather just believe that @Dan has a post of mine bookmarked, thanks.
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Online aygart

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #393 on: May 07, 2021, 03:30:24 PM »
We did think long and hard and decided the biggest issue is whether or not to send pictures with the resume
Tshuva begins with small steps.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #394 on: May 07, 2021, 03:31:30 PM »
Na, I'd rather just believe that @Dan has a post of mine bookmarked, thanks.

Would you rather be bookmarked in his browser or in his head?
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Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #395 on: May 07, 2021, 03:33:21 PM »
Would you rather be bookmarked in his browser or in his head?
Ah, fair point. Your ability to logic is, once again, proven superior.
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #396 on: May 07, 2021, 03:41:07 PM »
Tshuva begins with small steps.
While I do think there are situations where it's fair for a guy to ask for a picture, I can get behind an initiative to stop the sending pictures as a default. This 30 day thing backed my the Meron tragedy, while started with good intentions, just seems like virtue signaling topped with a nice little dose of gas lighting. I'm open to my mind being changed about it though.
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #397 on: May 07, 2021, 04:16:40 PM »
Ah, fair point. Your ability to logic is, once again, proven superior.

See, now this is worth bookmarking
Quote from: ExGingi
Yehuda57 needs to spew a certain amount of sarcasm in order to survive through the day.

Offline mmgfarb

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #398 on: May 07, 2021, 04:21:24 PM »
See, now this is worth bookmarking
New signature?
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Online ExGingi

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #399 on: May 07, 2021, 04:52:55 PM »
New signature?

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